Henry V Translation Act 5, Scene 1
Enter FLUELLEN and GOWER
GOWER
Nay, that’s right. But why wear you your leek today? SaintDavy’s day is past.
GOWER
No, that's right. But why do you wear your leek today? Saint Davy's day has passed.
FLUELLEN
There is occasions and causes why and wherefore in all things. I will tell you as my friend, Captain Gower. Therascally, scald, beggarly, lousy, pragging knave, Pistol, which you and yourself and all the world know tobe no petter than a fellow, look you now, of no merits, he is come to me and prings me pread and salt yesterday, look you, and bid me eat my leek. I t was in place where I could not breed no contention with him, but I will be so bold as to wear it in my cap till I seehim once again, and then I will tell him a little pieceof my desires.
FLUELLEN
There are times and reasons why for everything. I will tell you, since you're my friend, Captain Gower. The good-for-nothing, scabby, beggar-like, lousy, bragging criminal, Pistol, who you yourself and all the world know to be nothing more than a fellow, you see, with no good qualities, he came to me and brought me bread and salt yesterday, see, and asked me to eat my leek. It was in a place where I couldn't fight with him, but I will wear it in my hat until I see him again, and then I will give him a piece of my mind.
Enter PISTOL
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Why, here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock.
GOWER
Here he comes, swelled up like a turkey.
FLUELLEN
'Tis no matter for his swellings, nor his turkey-cocks.—God pless you, Aunchient Pistol, you scurvy, lousy knave,God pless you.
FLUELLEN
I don't care about his swellings, or his turkeys.
[To PISTOL] God bless you, Ancient Pistol, you disgusting, lousy criminal, God bless you.
PISTOL
Ha, art thou bedlam? Dost thou thirst, base Trojan, to have me fold up Parca’s fatal web? Hence. I am qualmish at the smell of leek.
PISTOL
What, are you crazy? Do you want, low Trojan, to make me meet my fate? Go away. The smell of leeks makes me sick.
FLUELLEN
I peseech you heartily, scurvy, lousy knave, at my desires, and my requests, and my petitions, to eat, lookyou, this leek. Because, look you, you do not love it, nor your affections and your appetites and your digestions does not agree with it, I would desire you toeat it.
FLUELLEN
I beg you, disgusting, lousy criminal, to fulfill my desire, my request, and my petition to you to eat, see, this leek. Because, see, you do not love it, and your feelings and your appetite and your digestion do not agree with it. I would like you to eat it.
PISTOL
Not for Cadwallader and all his goats.
PISTOL
Not for the Welsh hero Cadwallader and all his goats.
FLUELLEN
There is one goat for you. [strikes him] Will you be sogood, scald knave, as eat it?
FLUELLEN
Here's one goat for you. [hits him with a club] Will you be so kind, scabby criminal, as to eat it?
PISTOL
Base Trojan, thou shalt die.
PISTOL
Low Trojan, you will die.
FLUELLEN
You say very true, scald knave, when God’s will is. I will desire you to live in the meantime and eat your victuals. Come, there is sauce for it. (strikes him) Youcalled me yesterday “mountain squire,” but I will make you today a squire of low degree. I pray you, fall to. If you can mock a leek, you can eat a leek.
FLUELLEN
You tell the truth, scabby knave, when God wishes it. I ask you to survive in the meantime and eat your food. Come on, here's a sauce for it. [hits him] You called me a "mountain servant" yesterday, but today I will make you a low servant. Please, tuck in. If you can mock a leek, you can eat a leek.
GOWER
Enough, Captain. You have astonished him.
GOWER
Enough, Captain. You have astonished him.
FLUELLEN
I say I will make him eat some part of my leek, or I will peat his pate four days.— Bite, I pray you. It is good for your green wound and your ploody coxcomb.
FLUELLEN
I say I will make him eat some part of my leek, or I will beat him on the head for four days.
[To PISTOL] Bite, I beg you. It will be good for your fresh wound and your bloody head.
PISTOL
Must I bite?
PISTOL
Must I bite?
FLUELLEN
Yes, certainly, and out of doubt and out of question, too, and ambiguities.
FLUELLEN
Yes, certainly, no doubt and no question, too, and no ambiguities.
PISTOL
By this leek, I will most horribly revenge. I eat and eat, I swear—
PISTOL
By this leek, I will get a horrible revenge. I'm eating and eating, I promise—
FLUELLEN
Eat, I pray you. Will you have some more sauce to your leek? There is not enough leek to swear by.
FLUELLEN
Eat, please. Do you want more sauce on your leek? There isn't enough leek left to swear by.
PISTOL
Quiet thy cudgel. Thou dost see I eat.
PISTOL
Shut your mouth. You see I'm eating.
FLUELLEN
Much good do you, scald knave, heartily. Nay, pray you throw none away. The skin is good for your broken coxcomb. When you take occasions to see leeks hereafter,I pray you, mock at 'em, that is all.
FLUELLEN
Much good may it do you, scabby criminal, really. No, please don't throw any of it away. The skin is good for your wounded head. When you happen to see leeks in the future, please, go ahead and mock them, that's all.
PISTOL
Good.
PISTOL
Good.
FLUELLEN
Ay, leeks is good. Hold you, there is a groat to heal your pate.
FLUELLEN
Yes, leeks are good. Here, here's four pence to heal your head.
PISTOL
Me, a groat?
PISTOL
Me, four pence?
FLUELLEN
Yes, verily, and in truth you shall take it, or I have another leek in my pocket, which you shall eat.
FLUELLEN
Yes, truly, and you'll take it, or I have another leek in my pocket, which you will eat.
PISTOL
I take thy groat in earnest of revenge.
PISTOL
I take your four pence as a sign of my revenge.
FLUELLEN
If I owe you anything, I will pay you in cudgels. You shall be a woodmonger and buy nothing of me but cudgels. God be wi' you and keep you and heal your pate.
FLUELLEN
If I owe you anything, I will pay you with clubs. You will be a wood-seller and not buy anything from me except clubs. God be with you and keep you safe and heal your head.
Exit
PISTOL
All hell shall stir for this.
PISTOL
All hell will rise for this.
GOWER
Go, go. You are a counterfeit cowardly knave. Will you mock at an ancient tradition begun upon an honorable respect and worn as a memorable trophy of predeceased valor, and dare not avouch in your deeds any of your words? I have seen you gleeking and galling at this gentleman twice or thrice. You thought because he could not speak English in the native garb, he could not therefore handle an English cudgel. You find it otherwise, and henceforth let a Welsh correction teach you a good English condition. Fare you well.
GOWER
Go, go. You're a lying cowardly criminal. You mocked an ancient tradition begun on an honorable occasion and worn as a memento of past bravery, and you don't dare to follow through with any of the threats you make. I have seen you mocking and annoying this gentleman two or three times. You thought because he couldn't speak English like a native speaker, he couldn't use an English club. You find out you were wrong, and from now on let a Welsh punishment teach you good English manners. Goodbye.
Exit
PISTOL
Doth Fortune play the huswife with me now? News have I that my Nell is dead i' th' spital Of a malady of France, And there my rendezvous is quite cut off. Old I do wax, and from my weary limbs Honor is cudgeled. Well, bawd I’ll turn, And something lean to cutpurse of quick hand. To England will I steal, and there I’ll steal. And patches will I get unto these cudgeled scars, And swear I got them in the Gallia wars.
PISTOL
Is Fortune being as mean as a wife to me now? I have heard that my Nell is dead in the hospital from a French sickness, and my romance is cut short. I grow old, and honor is clubbed out of my tired limbs. Well, I'll become a pimp, and sometimes a quick-handed pick-pocket. I'll steal away to England, and there I'll steal. And I'll put patches on these club scars, and swear I got them in the wars in France.
Exit
