Twelfth Night Translation Act 4, Scene 1
Enter SEBASTIAN and FOOL
FOOL
Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you?
FOOL
Are you trying to convince me that I wasn't sent to fetch you?
SEBASTIAN
Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow. Let me be clear of thee.
SEBASTIAN
Go away, go on, you're a foolish fellow. Leave me alone.
FOOL
Well held out, i' faith. No, I do not know you, nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her, nor your name is not Master Cesario, nor this is not my nose neither. Nothing that is so is so.
FOOL
Good job keeping up this trick of yours—seriously. No, I don't know you, and my lady didn't send me to fetch you, and she doesn't want you to speak with her, and your name is not Master Cesario, and this isn't my nose, either. Nothing is what it is.
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I prithee, vent thy folly somewhere else. Thou know’st not me.
SEBASTIAN
Please, go spout your nonsense somewhere else. You don't know me.
FOOL
Vent my folly? He has heard that word of some great man and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney. I prithee now, ungird thy strangeness and tell me what I shall vent to my lady. Shall I vent to her that thou art coming?
FOOL
Spout my nonsense? He must have heard that word used by some great man and now he applies it to a jester. Spout my nonsense! This foolish world, it turns out, is an effeminate dandy. Now please abandon your strange behavior and tell me what I should "spout" to my lady. Should I spout to her that you're coming?
SEBASTIAN
I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me. There’s money for thee. [giving money] If you tarry longer, I shall give worse payment.
SEBASTIAN
Please, foolish jester, leave me alone. Here's some money for you. [Giving money] If you stay longer, I'll give you something worse.
FOOL
By my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men that give fools money get themselves a good report—afterfourteen years' purchase.
FOOL
I swear, you are a generous man. These wise men who give fools money will earn themselves a good reputation—after fourteen years of payments.
Enter SIR ANDREW, SIR TOBY BELCH, and FABIAN
SIR ANDREW
[To SEBASTIAN] Now, sir, have I met you again? There’s for you.
SIR ANDREW
[To SEBASTIAN] Can this be, sir, that we meet again? Take that.
SIR ANDREW strikes SEBASTIAN
SEBASTIAN
[returning the blow] Why, there’s for thee, and there, and there. Are all the people mad?
SEBASTIAN
[Striking him back] Well then, take that, and that, and that. Has everyone gone mad? [Draws his dagger]
SIR TOBY BELCH
Hold, sir, or I’ll throw your dagger o'er the house.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Stop, sir, or I'll throw your dagger over the roof.
FOOL
[aside] This will I tell my lady straight. I would not be in some of your coats for two pence.
FOOL
[To himself] I'll tell my lady about this straight away. She won't like anyone attacking Cesario—I wouldn't take money to be in some of your shoes.
Exit
SIR TOBY BELCH
( seizi ng SEBASTIAN) Come on, sir, hold!
SIR TOBY BELCH
[Grabbing SEBASTIAN] Come on, sir, stop!
SIR ANDREW
Nay, let him alone. I’ll go another way to work with him. I’ll have an action of battery against him if therebe any law in Illyria. Though I struck him first, yet it’s no matter for that.
SIR ANDREW
No, leave him be. I'll get him in a different way. I'll sue him for assault and battery, if there's any justice and law in Illyria. I struck him first, but that shouldn't matter.
SEBASTIAN
[To SIR TOBY BELCH] Let go thy hand.
SEBASTIAN
[To SIR TOBY BELCH] Let me go.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron. You are well fleshed. Come on.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Come, sir, I won't let you go yet. Come on, my young soldier, put your weapon away. You've gotten excited by a taste of battle. Come on.
SEBASTIAN
I will be free from thee.
SEBASTIAN
I will get free from you!
SEBASTIAN pulls free and draws his sword
What wouldst thou now? If thou darest tempt me further,draw thy sword.
What will you do now? If you dare to try my patience further, then draw your sword.
SIR TOBY BELCH
What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you.
SIR TOBY BELCH
What, what? No, for then I'd have to spill an ounce or two of your impudent blood.
SIR TOBY BELCH draws his sword Enter OLIVIA
OLIVIA
Hold, Toby! On thy life I charge thee, hold!
OLIVIA
Stop, Toby! I command you to stop!
SIR TOBY BELCH
Madam!
SIR TOBY BELCH
Madam!
OLIVIA
Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves, Where manners ne'er were preach’d! Out of my sight!— Be not offended, dear Cesario.— Rudesby, be gone!
OLIVIA
Will it always be like this with you? You ungrateful wretch, you are only fit to live in the mountains and caves far from civilization, where good manners are unnecessary! Get out of my sight!
[To SEBASTIAN] Don't be offended, dear Cesario.
[To TOBY]Go away, you brute!
Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW, and FABIAN
I prithee, gentle friend, Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway In this uncivil and unjust extent Against thy peace. Go with me to my house, And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks This ruffian hath botched up, that thou thereby Mayst smile at this. Thou shalt not choose but go. Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me! He started one poor heart of mine in thee.
Please, gentle friend, may your wisdom, not your passion, guide you through these uncivilized actions against you. Come with me to my house, and let me tell you about the many pointless practical jokes my beastly uncle has clumsily attempted, so you might come to laugh at this one. You mustn't leave. Don't deny me. Damn that Toby's soul! He startled my heart—my heart which lives in you.
SEBASTIAN
( aside ) What relish is in this? How runs the stream? Or I am mad, or else this is a dream. Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep. If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!
SEBASTIAN
[To himself] Something strange is going on. Where is all this leading? I must be mad, or else this is a dream. But if this is my imagination, then let me forget my sense of reality. And if dreaming is like this, then let me sleep!
OLIVIA
Nay, come, I prithee. Would thou’dst be ruled by me!
OLIVIA
Now come, please. I wish you would take my advice!
SEBASTIAN
Madam, I will.
SEBASTIAN
Madam, I will.
OLIVIA
Oh, say so, and so be!
OLIVIA
Oh, say it, and do it too!
Exeunt
