Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in A Complicated Kindness, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Religion and Dogma
Family and Home
Community and Coming of Age
Narrative and Storytelling
Christian Salvation vs. Earthly Joy
Summary
Analysis
With Trudie working in the library and Tash happy in her romance with Ian, it seemed like everyone should have been happy; but Nomi felt that something was wrong in her house, even though she was too young to understand exactly what it was. One day, she overheard Ray telling Trudie that the good times of today will simply be painful memories later on. Tash started staying out very late with Ian, and The Mouth often visited for dinner. Nomi wanted to laugh at his hairless legs with Tash, but her sister kept her bedroom door closed.
One of the first things to go wrong in Nomi’s family is her friendship with Tash. While she and her sister used to do everything together, now Tash is shutting Nomi out. This break contributes to the sense of mystery present in Nomi’s memories; she can never explain the rationale for her sister’s behavior because she was excluded from Tash’s thought process.
Themes
One day, Nomi woke up from a nightmare in which Jesus was about to smash her head in for telling lies at school. She ran into her parents’ room and fell asleep under her bed. When she wakes up, Trudie was telling Ray that she though they were losing Tash forever. The next day, Tash and Trudie refused to go to church. Nomi walked with Ray, and he explained radioactive isotopes to her. She was is happy to see him so enthusiastic, even if he was talking about “something breaking down.”
Nomi’s feelings of religious guilt or anxiety are often manifested through dreams. The unlikely scene she imagines contrasts with the very pressing anxieties expressed by Ray, but the dream’s surreal nature keeps her from taking the conversation she overhears very seriously.
Themes
Nomi started to spend her time lying under the garage door while it closed, rolling out of the way at the last minute. Tash ruined the fun by telling her that the door was programmed to stop as soon as it touched a person. Nomi remembers that when Tash was four, she fell out a tree and broke her elbow. Tash thought that God made the accident happen, but Trudie told her that God saved her life. After that, Tash wanted to throw Nomi out of a tree to “test God’s love,” but Trudie rejected this idea. Nomi wonders whether accidents really exist. Maybe, by saving Nomi, Trudie was thwarting God’s will as expressed by Tash. Maybe Nomi should have been thrown from the tree.
This memory shows that Nomi, Tash, and even Trudie are uncertain about the extent of their own agency, as opposed to God’s will. However, while Tash—and to some extent Nomi—are intent on testing and proving divine authority (much like church elders are desperate for evidence of real miracles), Trudie is more willing to accept uncertainty and acknowledge that God and accidents can exist in the same world.
Themes
One day, Tash gave Nomi a rainbow decal, which Nomi put on the living room window. Ray made her take it off; he didn’t like “overt symbols of hope.” When his school planned a 20th anniversary party, he refused to refer to it a “celebration.” Tash suggested that they name the event “Twenty Years: A Long Arduous Journey,” an idea that Ray took seriously.
In many ways, Ray is an extremely conventional Mennonite—for example, any kind of celebration makes him nervous and uncomfortable. However, while Nomi sees this tendency as threatening and severe in people like The Mouth, in mild-mannered Ray it’s an endearing quirk.
Themes
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Tash told Nomi that Ray and Trudie couldn’t even say the word “party” because it’s against Mennonite rules. On a long drive, they tried to trick their parents into saying the word. When Trudie wouldn’t, Tash stuck her head out the window and closed it as if she was going to cut off her head. Ray told her sharply to sit down, but Tash refused until he pulled the car over to the side of the road. Nomi doesn’t understand why small things mean so much to Tash.
While Nomi accepts Ray and Trudie’s behavior unquestioningly as a child, Tash objects to it strongly. For Tash, her parents’ willingness to accept seemingly arbitrary rules represents a coexistence with religious dogma that she can’t bear.
Themes
