Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in A Complicated Kindness, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Religion and Dogma
Family and Home
Community and Coming of Age
Narrative and Storytelling
Christian Salvation vs. Earthly Joy
Summary
Analysis
Tourists often come to East Village to gawk at Mennonite life, but Trudie never acknowledges their presence because she doesn’t want to acknowledge that she lives in “the world’s most non-progressive community.” One time the Queen visits, but Trudie refuses to attend the parade; instead, she watches from the roof with a bunch of teenage boys. Ray and Nomi can’t decide if she’s “crazy in a cool, fun way,” or in a more disturbing sense. Trudie hoards records, prohibited in the community, in the basement. One time Tash and her friends prank call The Mouth and pretend to be worried about the “temptation” of the secular music; a child at the time, Nomi is terrified, thinking that her sister is “so earmarked for damnation it wasn’t even funny.”
While Nomi often feels like an outsider in her community, visiting tourists remind her how much she has been shaped by her isolated life, especially in the eyes of the outside world. It’s interesting that Trudie vacillates between “fun” and disturbing craziness—in this sense, she’s similar to Nomi, whose idiosyncrasies are endearing but sometimes reveal her underlying emotional instability. Nomi’s religious devotion as a child contrasts with her skeptical attitude in the present day, prompting the reader to wonder how she has lost her faith.
Themes
Nomi’s life is marked by so many rules and prohibitions that seem to have no grounding in logic. She remembers having a long argument with her mother about going to see a secular movie, since normally Mennonite children are only allowed to watch religious propaganda films. Trudie worries about the request—and about other Mennonites seeing her at the movie theater—all afternoon before she finally allows Nomi to go. It’s impossible to predict what is allowed (Billy Joel and wholesome game shows) and what isn’t (movies and sitcoms). Nomi isn’t allowed to watch TV shows that include magic, but Tash points out the whole Bible is like a magic trick. Trudie scolds her briefly, but she never disciplines her daughters.
Even though Trudie herself is often skeptical of Mennonite norms and interested in secular culture, she’s reluctant to openly defy the community—both from fear of social repercussions and her genuine (if sometimes ambivalent) religious faith. Trudie’s uncertainty shows how hard it can be to break free from such a structured community, even when one is already chafing against it.
Themes
Nomi spends much of her childhood worrying that Tash will go to hell. She even hides Tash’s “I’m With Jesus” t-shirt to save her from the sin of “wearing it insincerely.” Tash likes to play pranks like substituting John Lennon for Jesus during call-and-response prayers at church, and she often argues with her parents about her refusal to conform. Nomi doesn’t understand the fights, and she only cares about knowing for sure that “we were all going to live forever, together, happily, in Heaven with God.” She’s annoyed with Tash for jeopardizing the family’s chances at eternal salvation.
Religion provides Nomi with structure and confidence during her childhood—but it also causes her serious anxiety about her family’s fate in the afterlife. By the end of the novel, Nomi will learn to differentiate between her parents’ positive, loving faith and the dogmatic, harsh Christianity practiced by the church elders in her community.
Themes
Nomi remembers other small facts about Trudie, like her ability to predict the weather or her unique way of folding towels. While Trudie and Ray love each other fiercely, it often seems like they have nothing to say. One time, Trudie decides to learn to ride her cousin’s motorcycle, but she accelerates too fast and falls over almost as soon as the motorcycle starts. Nomi likes to remember her flying through the air. Recently, while putting away Ray’s laundry, Nomi found Trudie’s passport in a bureau drawer. She wishes her mother had taken it with her.
Nomi’s depiction of her parents evokes both deep love and contrasting approaches to life, since Trudie and Ray’s differences result in a lack of communication between them. The image of Trudie flying through the air illustrates both the beauty and the dangerous unpredictability that Nomi loves and distrusts in her mother. While Nomi wants to believe that her mother is having adventures in exotic places, the fact that she leaves behind all documentation raises the disturbing possibility that she left home with the intention of harming herself or committing suicide.
Themes
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