Summary
Analysis
Conor steps into the kitchen in the morning while his mother is still asleep. He makes his own breakfast, already in his school uniform with his backpack packed for school: “all things he’d done for himself.” He thinks about the previous evening, which he assumed had been a dream—until he saw his entire bedroom floor covered in yew tree leaves. He convinced himself that they’d blown in through the open window and cleaned them up.
Conor decides that it’s best to take the trash out so that his mother doesn’t find the leaves. He also takes the recycling out and puts a load of sheets into the washer. Ten minutes before Conor leaves for school, his mother comes into the kitchen. She notes softly how clean the kitchen is, and apologizes for not being awake to make him breakfast. Conor says it’s not a problem.
The mixture of sadness and gratitude in Conor’s mother’s voice implies that she would much rather Conor be able to be a normal thirteen-year-old boy, but also that she needs him and his help.
Conor’s mother hasn’t yet tied a scarf around her bald head this morning, and it “[makes] Conor’s stomach hurt to see it.” Conor’s mother tells him that his grandmother is coming to visit the next day. Conor complains, arguing that they don’t need her at the house. But his mother says that she wouldn’t have asked his grandmother to come if she didn’t need her to help during this round of treatments.
This passage provides an answer as to why Conor must take on so much responsibility, and, perhaps, why he’s having nightmares: his mother is sick with cancer. One of the reasons Conor doesn’t mind taking on the responsibility is because it allows him to act as though everything is normal, even in the face of clear evidence that his mother is very sick. This is why he opposes his grandmother’s visit: he is in denial that his mother might be so sick that she needs someone other than Conor to take care of her.
Conor is upset, not only because he has to give up his room every time his grandmother visits but also because she talks to him like he is “an employee under evaluation.” Conor’s mother assures him that his grandmother will only be staying for a few nights. Conor says he’s going to be late for school. “You’re a good boy,” his mother says. “I wish you didn’t have to be quite so good.” Conor leaves for school.
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