A Tale for the Time Being

(1) As Nao read Haruki #1’s letters, she felt ashamed for making a fuss about the bullying she experienced, since he went through so much more. She realized that Haruki #1 was not much older than she was—he was only 19—and yet he’d studied so hard and knew so much. In comparison to him, Nao felt pathetic.

One day, Nao saw Haruki making an origami beetle out of a page from a book on Heidegger. This irritated Nao because she remembered that Haruki #1 studied Heidegger seriously. She told Haruki that his uncle  actually studied philosophy rather than childishly playing with origami. Nao said that she had his letters, and that Haruki should probably read them too, so he could stop feeling sorry for himself. Nao told him to be more like his uncle. Haruki went pale and quietly said that she was right.

(2) When school started again, Nao was determined to be calm and use her “superpower.” On the first day, her heart was pounding, but she didn’t feel afraid—and the kids ended up leaving her alone. Haruki #1’s letters made Nao feel ashamed of how little she knew, so she started to pay attention in her classes and especially enjoyed science. Then, in November, her father attempted suicide again.

(3) Nao writes that she’d have to back up to September 11 in order to explain it properly. Late on the night of September 11, Nao found Haruki sitting in front of the TV. On the screen was the image of two skyscrapers with smoke coming out of them. At first, Nao thought it was a movie, but she soon realized that it was the news. Haruki told her that this was happening in New York, and that it was a suspected terror attack. Nao reached for his hand as they watched the tiny shapes of people jumping out of buildings. They watched as the towers fell and people ran screaming. Haruki spent days staring at these images on the news.

(4) Haruki became obsessed with the people who jumped out of the Twin Towers, and he looked for them on the internet. He found the picture of the Falling Man, which was a famous photograph of a man falling head down, with the steel building behind him. Haruki spent hours staring at it.

(5) After Haruki attempted suicide, the idea of killing herself began to make sense to Nao. She began to think that if she was going to die anyway, she might as well just get it over with. Nao thinks that the best way to die would be to jump off a cliff near Jiko’s temple. She would think fondly about Jiko and jump into the Pacific Ocean, where her remains would join Haruki #1’s.