Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in A Thousand Years of Good Prayers, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Language, Communication, and Understanding
Love, Marriage, and Intimacy
Fathers and Daughters
History, Culture, and Migration
Summary
Analysis
Mr. Shi, now retired, says he had been a rocket scientist in China. With his limited English, he learned this phrase by drawing pictures for a woman in an American airport while he was on the way to visit his daughter in a Midwest town, where she works as a librarian in the East Asian studies department of a college. He likes telling people in America that he was a rocket scientist because he feels that it garners respect. Only five days into his visit, he feels that he has made many acquaintances because many people greet him in the town.
Readers get a sense from the beginning of the story that Mr. Shi is very proud of his work, and that being a rocket scientist is central to his identity. They also learn that he is an outgoing person who feels connected to people in the world, even when he cannot speak their language. The rapidity with which Mr. Shi calls new people his friends or acquaintances suggests that he may be lacking intimacy in other relationships in his life.
Themes
Mr. Shi’s most significant acquaintance is a woman who lives in a retirement home, whom he calls “Madam.” Madam is 77, which is two years older than Mr. Shi. She speaks little English and often speaks to him in Persian. He sits in the park in the mornings and waits for her. They speak about how they both believe America to be a good country because their children can make good money. Mr. Shi tells Madam he was a rocket scientist in China, and she tells him that she thinks China is a good country.
Mr. Shi’s relationship with Madam demonstrates his firm belief that true understanding and intimacy transcend language. Though they barely share a common language, they are united by their belief that the United States is a good country. This discussion hints at the theme of preserving cultural heritage, which Mr. Shi struggles with later in the story.
Themes
Mr. Shi believes that Madam is very happy and loves everything she sees. He enjoys listening to her speak in Persian to him though he does not understand her. He believes she enjoys speaking to him, and he too feels happy. Madam wears bright colors and barrettes in her hair that remind Mr. Shi of his daughter. Mr. Shi wants to tell Madam about how he misses the past and how his relationship with his daughter used to be, but he does not want to speak about the past and believes his English to be insufficient.
Mr. Shi’s belief in Madam’s happiness is based on her demeanor, but it seems like Mr. Shi may be making assumptions about her. Readers know that they share an intimacy, but because Madam does not speak in the story, readers do not know whether what Mr. Shi believes about her is correct. The fact that Mr. Shi does not try to communicate with Madam in English also hints at the limitations of their understanding.
Themes
Mr. Shi makes dinner for his daughter every day when she comes home from work. He studied cooking after his wife died with the same intensity that he studied mathematics and physics. Mr. Shi is proud of his cooking and tells his daughter to look for happiness in life. Despite her praise for his cooking, she eats very little and seems dispirited. Mr. Shi attributes this to her recent divorce after seven years of marriage and her ex-husband’s return to Beijing. Mr. Shi does not understand how their marriage could have ended, as he believes his daughter to be a good wife—beautiful, dutiful, and quiet—like her mother had been. When he learned of his daughter’s divorce, Mr. Shi begged her to let him visit her to console her. He was only able to convince her by telling her that he wanted to see America for his 75th birthday.
The symbol of food and cooking is introduced here. The fact that Mr. Shi’s daughter does not want to eat the food he cooks symbolizes their mutual misunderstanding: like her struggle to accept or respond to many of her father’s words, her hesitance to eat his food suggests that what he is giving her is not satisfying her needs. Mr. Shi’s assumptions about the cause of his daughter’s divorce also indicate this mutual misunderstanding: as far as readers know, he has never asked her directly why she got divorced, he has only assumed that it must have been her fault.
Themes
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Mr. Shi’s daughter keeps much of her life secret from Mr. Shi. When he asks her to accompany him outside, she refuses. He asks her questions about her life, work, friends, and plans for the future because he is concerned that she is lonely and overcome by the shame of her divorce. He compares women of her age to lychees, getting less desirable by the day. He fears that she is nearing her expiration date for another marriage. Mr. Shi worries that his daughter is wasting her life and not enjoying herself, which she denies. When he accuses her of being too quiet to be happy, she reminds him that he was very quiet once and never wanted to tell his family about his work or his life. He is angry that she has asked him such a direct question and insists that he talks more now.
Mr. Shi’s assumptions about his daughter’s unhappiness and (in his opinion) increasingly grim marriage prospects are the result of his antiquated understandings of gender and marital norms: he does not understand that divorce and remarriage are common and socially acceptable in modern America, and his opinions about women’s behavior reflect the double standards that he applies to men and women. For example, he believes he can ask his daughter questions directly, but that she should not ask him direct questions and should be more deferential.
Themes
The next morning, Mr. Shi tells Madam that his daughter is divorced and unhappy. When she responds in Persian, he wonders if she knows what divorce means, and guesses that her happiness indicates that she must not have dealt with much hardship in her life. He wonders what her life must have been like in Iran and concludes that she is happy to have been displaced. He compares her vibrancy and happiness to his daughter’s lack thereof. Mr. Shi is amazed that despite their differences they are able to converse.
Once again, Mr. Shi makes assumptions about Madam’s life because he does not understand the words she is saying to him. In this case, his assumption that Madam is likely a very happy person who has not suffered much seems likely to be untrue, given the political turmoil in Iran, her home country, in the 20th century. Though Madam and Mr. Shi may have a meaningful friendship, this passage suggests the limits of communication beyond a shared language.
Themes
Mr. Shi wants to explain to Madam a Chinese phrase that means that it takes 300 years of prayers to find a true connection with someone. Believing that she will understand him regardless of the language he speaks, he tells her in Chinese that it must have taken many years of good prayers for them to meet each other. He continues in Chinese, explaining that there is a reason for every relationship, and that it takes 1,000 years of good prayers for a good relationship between father and daughter. However, he believes his daughter doesn’t appreciate this and doesn’t want him to talk to her. He tells Madam that his daughter wants it to be like her childhood, when he could not say anything because he was a rocket scientist and his work was confidential.
While Mr. Shi often blames his tense relationship with his daughter on her and her refusal to talk to him, here he gives a hint that maybe there are other causes: namely, a failure to offer enough good prayers, which have resulted in the situation he is now in and which neither he nor his daughter can control. However, Mr. Shi is still unable to accept his own role in the strain in their relationship, again insisting that his job as a rocket scientist dictated his life and that his daughter preferred it that way.
Themes
Mr. Shi realizes that he has not been so close to a woman of his own age since his wife died. He feels unhappy that he has come to America to speak with his daughter to make up for the talks she missed out on when she was a child, but that now she seems uninterested in what he has to say. He believes that Madam, who cannot comprehend his language, understands him better than his own daughter. Mr. Shi believes he should not dwell on such old stories but Madam tells him she loves stories and begins to talk happily. She says America is a good country because they can talk freely.
Mr. Shi laments the failures of communication in his relationship with his daughter, and feels sad that despite their common language, he recognizes that they do not understand each other. In contrast, even though he and Madam usually do not understand each other literally, they are both willing to spend time together and listen to each other, a form of communication that can engender a sense of intimacy beyond language.
Themes
Later that evening, Mr. Shi tells his daughter that Madam could help her with her unhappiness because Madam is so optimistic. When his daughter asks how Madam could do that, Mr. Shi is afraid that he will sound crazy if he tells his daughter that he and Madam speak to each other in different languages. He feels disconnected from his daughter even though they speak the same language. He tells her that women ought not to ask such direct questions.
Mr. Shi again reveals the double standards which he applies to women, believing that Madam must be a virtuous woman who could provide a good example for his daughter, despite not knowing anything about Madam’s life and marital history. At the same time, he rebuffs his daughter for directly asking him a good question.
Themes
Mr. Shi’s daughter responds that Mr. Shi would not consider her a good woman because she is divorced. He ignores her, saying that her mother was a good woman. His daughter asks if her mother had succeeded in making him talk, to which Mr. Shi responds that her mother would not have been so confrontational. Mr. Shi’s daughter counters that at first he accused her of not talking enough, and now that she talks he wants her to talk in a different way. He tells her that talking is more than asking questions, it is sharing feelings. Mr. Shi tells her that he only wants to help her after her divorce. His daughter suggests that she would like him to leave America and then leaves the dinner table, having not eaten any of her food. Mr. Shi laments that his daughter does not realize his food is his prayer for her.
Even though Mr. Shi and his daughter are speaking back and forth in conversation in this scene, they are evidently speaking past each other, not truly understanding what the other has to say. Mr. Shi’s daughter cannot forget her memories of her childhood, and still feels anger at her father for only now trying to speak to her. But Mr. Shi does not like the way that his daughter speaks to him and believes it to be insufficiently emotional. This conflict suggests that Mr. Shi’s daughter may be uncomfortable not only because of her history with her father, but also because of the specific language thy are speaking, Chinese. Mr. Shi indicates that his cooking for his daughter is a form of prayer, referencing the thousand years of good prayers required to have a good relationship between father and daughter, but he does not realize that it may be his bad prayers that are the cause of their tense relationship.
Themes
The next morning, Mr. Shi tells Madam that his wife would have been better at cheering his daughter up. He speaks Chinese to her more comfortably now, telling her in his native language that his wife had been closer with his daughter when she was a child because he was always working or thinking about his work. His wife had been understanding and had known not to disturb him, but he realizes now that he neglected his daughter and did not spend enough time talking to her.
This passage marks a turning point for Mr. Shi: he admits for the first time that he made mistakes by neglecting his family while his daughter was growing up. But Mr. Shi cannot yet admit this to someone who can understand, and he cannot apologize to his daughter; he is only able to say it to Madam in Chinese.
Themes
At dinner that night, Mr. Shi’s daughter tells Mr. Shi that she has found a Chinese-speaking travel agency in America and she wants him to do tours with them so he can see the rest of the country. Mr. Shi is grateful that she is trying to honor his wishes, but all he wants to see in America is his daughter happily married. He tells her he would rather stay with her because he has friends here. The phone rings and his daughter answers it, taking the phone into her bedroom, though she leaves the door open.
Mr. Shi is unable to see that he is overstaying his welcome at his daughter’s house and refuses to read the signals that she is sending him: he sees her pushing him to leave as an attempt to accommodate his wishes, and he does not understand that his insistence that she remarry may not be what she wants.
Themes
Mr. Shi hears his daughter speaking English loudly and rapidly on the phone, laughing often. He has never heard her speak like this and it disturbs him, seeming immodest. When she returns, he asks her to whom she was speaking. She reveals that it was a lover, hoping that this will make her father understand that she is not unhappy. She tells Mr. Shi that her lover is Romanian American, and Mr. Shi is glad that he came from a communist country. Mr. Shi warns not to rush into any mistakes because of her loneliness after her abandonment.
Mr. Shi is uncomfortable hearing his daughter speak in a manner, and a language, that he does not recognize. Her clear and unreserved communication shocks him. But even when she reveals that she is happy with her lover, Mr. Shi still sees her behavior as a reaction to her divorce, not understanding that she sees her divorce differently. Even though Mr. Shi does not recognize his daughter when she talks to this man, he sees the nationality of her partner as an indication that his daughter has not completely abandoned or forgotten the communist values with which she grew up.
Themes
Mr. Shi’s daughter reveals that, contrary to Mr. Shi’s belief, she was not abandoned by her husband, but rather they got divorced because of her connection with this other man. Mr. Shi is confused and angry that he has raised his daughter to be disloyal and insists that she must explain herself to him because he is her father. Mr. Shi’s daughter explains that her husband thought she didn’t talk enough and started to think she was hiding something from him. Mr. Shi says that she was hiding this man from her husband, and his daughter responds that she communicates better with her lover because they speak in English, and she never learned to express her feelings in Chinese.
This scene marks a turning point for Mr. Shi’s daughter: for the first time in the story, she is opening up to him and being honest about her life. In doing so, she is challenging his expectations of women’s behavior. She also speaks to him openly about her father’s childrearing and his relationship with her mother, revealing to her father that she was aware of the problems in their marriage, even when he could not admit them to anyone—even himself. She specifically characterizes these problems as a lack of communication, thus explaining why she never learned to express her feelings in Chinese.
Themes
Mr. Shi accuses his daughter of blaming him and her mother for her reasons for cheating on her husband, which his daughter denies. She explains that he and her mother did not talk when they had problems, and so she learned to stay quiet. Mr. Shi insists that there were no problems and that they were just quiet people. His daughter reveals that she knows Mr. Shi is lying about being a rocket scientist, and that her mother had known it too. Mr. Shi is shocked and unable to speak. His daughter apologizes for hurting him, and he remains calm, acknowledging that she is telling the truth. Mr. Shi’s daughter tells him that she will book the tours for him tomorrow.
Mr. Shi does not react well to his daughter’s confrontation and becomes angry and defensive, refusing to admit that his relationship with his wife was not perfect. It seems like he is trying to convince himself as well as his daughter. Mr. Shi’s daughter’s revelation of her awareness of his lies marks the climax of the story, and sheds light on everything up to this point about Mr. Shi being a rocket scientist. It becomes clear that Mr. Shi has been lying not only to his family, but to himself for many years, trying to cling to his former profession as a central part of his identity. When he does not get angry at his daughter and admits that she is telling the “truth,” he is admitting to his lies for the first time.
Themes
Mr. Shi goes to see Madam a final time to come clean about the lies he has told her about himself. He practices what he will say to her, remembering his time as a young rocket scientist and how excited he was to talk about it. He had begun talking to his card puncher, a young woman named Yilan. Card punchers have been made obsolete by advanced technology but Mr. Shi misses his relationship with Yilan. Mr. Shi sees Madam approaching him with a basket of colorful autumn leaves. Madam hands one leaf to him, and he sees the brightness and the detail clearly for the first time in his life.
It seems like his daughter’s revelation has inspired Mr. Shi to be honest with the people in his life whom he cares about. The fact that he goes to Madam suggests the true intimacy of their connection. When Madam hands him a leaf and he can see clearly for the first time, it seems evident that Madam has had a profound effect on Mr. Shi, and has helped him open his eyes to the meaning life can have in the present without dwelling on the past.
Themes
Mr. Shi reveals in English to Madam that he was not a rocket scientist because of Yilan, his card puncher. They became very close by talking all the time, in the office and on their lunch breaks. They talked about their excitement about their opportunities and the hope of building the first rocket for their communist country. They became very close because Mr. Shi felt like he could talk openly to her, which he could not with his wife because his work was confidential. Mr. Shi and Yilan were accused of having an affair, even though they never touched each other. By telling this story, he realizes that they were in love, but a kind of love that resulted from a connection of minds and not bodies.
It is notable the Mr. Shi speaks the most important part, his confession about his job, in English in order to make sure that Madam understands literally what he is saying, not just emotionally. Mr. Shi does not just want Madam to listen and smile, at least to the parts he can convey in English. Mr. Shi is thus acknowledging the limits of understanding that result from communicating with each other in different languages. Once he starts speaking to Madam in Chinese, it is as if he is admitting this story to himself, as much as or even more than he is admitting it to her. By telling the story, he realizes that the honest communication he had with Yilan, and has tried to achieve with other people in his life, is a form of love that he has never acknowledged to himself.
Themes
When Yilan was sent away because of their affair, Mr. Shi was told that he could keep his job as a rocket scientist if he admitted to their affair and apologized, which he refused to do out of loyalty to his wife and to Yilan. Had he admitted the affair, he would have selfishly kept his job and hurt his wife. But it would have been more selfish to abandon his family for a life with Yilan, Mr. Shi believes. As a result, he took the lowest position someone with his training could have: decorating offices, filing papers, and organizing his colleagues’ work. He ignored his wife’s questioning looks until she stopped giving them. In the present, Mr. Shi tells Madam something he was taught in his training: that sacrifice makes life meaningful. He tries to focus on being in the present with Madam, admiring the beauty of the leaves.
In the final scene of the story, Mr. Shi looks back on the choice he made to give up both his job and his relationship with Yilan for what he considered to be loyalty to his wife. More than 40 years later, he seems to doubt whether he made the right choice. When he brings up the idea from his training that sacrifice makes life meaningful, he seems unsure of whether he believes it: his sacrifice not only caused him (and Yilan) enormous pain, but it did not prevent his wife and daughter from suffering either. At this point in his life, when his wife has died and his relationship with his daughter is strained—as they have not resolved their conflicts by the end of the story, and she still seems to be angry about events from her childhood—Mr. Shi seems to be wondering what meaning has emerged from his sacrifice. But in the last moments of the story, Mr. Shi tries to stop dwelling in the past, and instead focus on the meaning that his life has in the present, like the beauty of the colors and the natural world.
Themes
