All the Bright Places

It’s Saturday night. Amanda invited Violet to a sleepover, promising it’d just be them and a handful of friends. Since the accident, Violet has been drifting away from Amanda, but Violet accidentally mentioned the sleepover to her parents. They insisted she go and “get back to living.” When Violet turns the corner, she sees that the “sleepover” is actually a party with lots of people. But she goes in, accepts a red cup, and thinks that everyone is too loud. She finds Amanda and Suze on the couch in the basement. People are dancing and kissing.

Amanda waves at Violet, tells her they need to fix Violet’s hair (Violet recently gave herself bangs), and asks if Violet could wear one of Eleanor’s sweaters instead of her glasses. Ignoring this, Violet says she’s going to leave because she’s not feeling well. Suze asks if it’s true that Violet saved Finch. Violet says it is true, but she silently wishes the day would just disappear. Suze goes on to say that Finch is weird, but she’s had sex with him, and he knows what he’s doing. Violet thinks that she’s just glad Finch was there to save her from killing herself. She can’t imagine what her parents would’ve done; she’s here tonight in part because she feels so guilty for almost putting them through losing their last living child.

Roamer appears, sets down an ice bucket of beer, and asks why Violet was in the belltower in the first place. He notes that the door is locked and barricaded. Violet says she saw Finch sneak up; he must’ve picked the lock. (Violet actually picked the lock, but no one suspects her because she looks innocent.) Roamer says she should’ve let Finch jump after Finch threw the desk at him last year, and Amanda asks if Finch might like Violet. A year ago, Violet would’ve fit in at this party. She would’ve spent the evening writing witty commentary in her head. But now she feels out of place, and everything is too loud. When Violet sees a reporter from the school paper coming, she excuses herself, goes outside, and vomits.

The last party Violet went to was on April 4th, the night Eleanor died—and now, this party is bringing all the memories back. As Violet picks herself up from vomiting, she runs right into Ryan. He’s perfect—unlike Violet. Violet wonders what he’d do if he knew Finch saved her, not the other way around. Ryan picks Violet up, spins her around, and tries to kiss her. Violet remembers the night of their first kiss: it was April, and it had started to snow. While Eleanor was upstairs with Ryan’s older brother, Ryan led Violet outside and kissed her. Now, Violet wishes she had a picture of that moment—it was the last good moment before everything changed forever. Violet pulls away from Ryan and runs home.

Violet’s mom and Violet’s dad are on the sofa when Violet gets home. They comment that she’s home early, and Violet says that she knew it was a bad idea: it was a party, not a sleepover. Violet’s mom invites her to sit with them and talk about it. Violet thinks that her parents are perfect, like Ryan; they’re involved and supportive, but Violet is too upset to humor them. She heads upstairs and changes into her favorite pajamas and slippers. Then, she crosses off the day on the calendar with a big X and settles in with her books. She’s currently trying to decide which Brontë sister she likes best.

After a while, Violet checks Facebook and finds a video that Finch posted a few hours ago. He’s singing a song about jumping off the school roof, and when he’s done singing, he asks Violet to confirm that she’s still alive. Angry, Violet messages him and asks him to take the video down. He messages back, saying that they should talk about what happened, and he explains that Violet is the only one who saw the video—she’s his only friend. He also deletes the video.

Finch suggests that he could come over so they can talk in person instead of talking online. Violet, scandalized, writes that it’s too late. But when Finch notes that they could talk at lunch tomorrow, Violet says he can come over—as long as he agrees to drop the subject afterward. She regrets this immediately.