All the Bright Places

Violet stands in front of her mirror, studying herself. She’s dressed in black and wears Finch’s T-shirt. Her face doesn’t look like it belongs to a girl who has great parents, great friends, and a bunch of college acceptance letters. Violet thinks her face looks like it belongs to a sad girl who has experienced horrible loss. She wonders if she’ll ever see anything but Finch and Eleanor in her reflection, and she wonders if other people can tell. Later, Violet tells her parents that she wants to go to the funeral alone. They’ve been watching her closely. Violet has also caught them exchanging angry looks with each other—they’re furious at Finch’s mom.

At the funeral, Finch’s family stands in the front row. Violet studies Finch’s dad’s back and notices that Finch’s entire family is crying. The funeral takes place at the top of a hill in the largest cemetery in town. Violet remembers that Finch wanted to be cremated. Everyone is crying, including Amanda, Ryan, and Roamer. Violet stands next to Brenda and Charlie, and her parents are nearby. Brenda stares at Roamer with an angry expression—Roamer and his friends are the ones who called Finch a “freak.” 

The preacher finishes, and Violet thinks that he didn’t mention suicide at all. Officially, Finch’s death was ruled an accident, since they didn’t find a proper suicide note. But Violet knows it wasn’t an accident. She thinks that “suicide victim” is an “interesting” phrase, since it implies that the person didn’t have a choice in dying. Maybe Finch didn’t feel like he had a choice—but Violet will never know. Angrily, she remembers how Finch was the one who lectured her about the necessity of living. It’s not fair that he left, especially after what happened to Eleanor. Violet can’t remember her last words to Finch, except that they were “angry and normal and unremarkable.”

As the crowd disperses, Charlie mutters about the “phonies,” and Brenda says that Finch is probably watching and flipping everyone off. Violet asks Brenda if she thinks Finch is somewhere. She says she likes to think Finch can’t see them because he’s in a world he designed. Before Brenda can answer, Finch’s mom pulls Violet into a hug. Finch’s dad hugs Violet next, until Violet’s dad pulls her away. Over dinner, Violet listens to her parents talk about Finch’s parents. Violet leaves the table before they can start talking about how selfish Finch was to commit suicide, especially when Eleanor died and didn’t get a choice.

Violet sits in her closet and notices her calendar. She studies all the blank days, the ones she didn’t put an X on because she spent them with Finch. She thinks that she hates Finch and wishes she could’ve done something. She wishes she hadn’t let him down and that she’d been enough to make him stay. Violet wonders if it was her fault and asks Finch to come back.