Beautiful Boy

In June, Nic is not at Jasper and Daisy’s step-up ceremony. David watches the ceremony, in which each class year “steps up” from the step they are sitting on to the next higher row, indicating that they have graduated to a new grade. David has tears as he watches, remembering when Nic, too, was standing tall, full of potential.

Every time the phone rings, David grows anxious, wondering if it is Nic calling. David wonders where he could be. Meanwhile, at Nancy and Don’s house, Nancy is shocked to discover Nic sleeping in her laundry room under a pile of blankets. He is clearly high, shaking and skeletal. Nic wakes, startled to find himself in Nancy’s home, and apologizes. Nancy, also shaken, offers Nic food. Nic takes a banana from the kitchen and walks out of the house. Nancy calls David to tell him what happened, wishing she could have made Nic stay.

There is no news for another week, until Nic calls his godfather, who invites Nic to his house. Nic’s godfather makes him food and begs Nic to get help, seeing his gaunt appearance. Nic lies that he’s stopped using and leaves. Again, David calls hospitals and jails, but there’s no news for another two weeks. One day, Karen comes in and hands David a canceled check made out from David to Nic. The signature is an obvious forgery. Karen is furious and hurt. David tries to say that Nic wouldn’t do this if he were in his right mind, but Karen doesn’t want to hear excuses.

A few nights later, Nic returns home. He grunts a “hey” and rushes past David into his room. David asks him where he has been, but Nic doesn’t answer and starts to search his room. David asks Nic to sit and talk, saying that he has to go back to rehab—that he’s throwing his life away. Nic says that it’s his life to throw away, but David implores him not to do so. Nic responds that he has nothing to throw away, and he rushes past David and leaves.

That night, David is awake at four a.m. He realizes that it is Nic’s 20th birthday. The next morning, David hears from Julia, Nic’s girlfriend. She cries on the phone, saying that Nic stole hypodermic needles and morphine from her mother’s house when they visited last month—which were for her cancer medication. She tells David that her sister had an addiction as well, and she implores David not to help Nic at all or give him money. Julia says that from her family’s experience, her only advice to David is to take care of himself. David hangs up, stunned that Nic is now injecting drugs into his arms.

David continues on with life, but the disparity between Nic’s experience and Jasper and Daisy’s worlds is sometimes overwhelming. Once, when David hears Eric Clapton’s song about the death of his son, he breaks down in the grocery store while Jasper and Daisy are with him. They are horrified and frightened.

Two weeks pass, and Nic sends an email asking for help and money. David writes back that he will only help him return to treatment, which Nic declines. After another agonizing week, Nic calls to say he’s doing fine. David asks him to meet for lunch, and Nic agrees to meet at a café—but Nic is an hour and 15 minutes late to lunch. David and Nic hug tentatively and sit together to eat. Nic is clearly high but insists he’s doing great and is finally responsible for himself. David says that everyone is worried about him, but Nic dismisses David’s concerns as he eats.

After David and Nic say goodbye, David realizes how much he is now tolerating that he once thought “unthinkable.” He also thinks about how his expectations for Nic have changed. With Nic’s escalating drug use, he now hopes simply that Nic will live to 21. Summer ends, and each time the phone rings, David’s stomach lurches. He does not sleep.