Beautiful Boy

When David was young, he moved from Massachusetts to Phoenix, Arizona. He often reminisces that the world during his childhood was far more innocent and safer than the world is now—though he acknowledges that that wasn’t entirely true. The proximity to Mexico meant that drugs were “abundant and cheap.” Marijuana was prevalent: David smoked his first joint as a high school freshman. Pot, he admits, was what initiated him into his teenage social circle. David continued smoking, as he felt that it helped him assuage his awkwardness and insecurity.

David acknowledges that drugs were different as he was growing up: there is twice as much THC (the active ingredient) in marijuana in 2008 than there was in marijuana a decade ago, which was already more potent than the pot of previous generations. Additionally, psychedelics and ecstasy are often laced with meth or other drugs. And unlike when David was growing up, a body of research now shows the range of dangerous physical and psychological effects of drugs, including marijuana. Thus, David talks to Nic about drugs from the time he is seven or eight.

When David was growing up, his parents warned him about drugs, but because they were “teetotalers,” he didn’t believe their warnings. David knows about drugs from firsthand experience and thought that he would have some credibility. He acknowledges, however, that many drug counselors tell parents to lie about their drug use. This is because kids see that their parents turned out all right in spite of the drugs and in spite of their warnings. David realizes that perhaps he should have lied to Nic about his drug use, but he didn’t. He thought that their close relationship meant that if Nic were trying drugs, he would tell David.

David is therefore shocked to discover the marijuana in Nic’s backpack. He confronts Nic and his friend with the joint. Nic explains, embarrassed and ashamed, that it’s the first time they bought the drug, and they’d tried it one other time. David wonders whether he can trust what Nic is saying; he and Karen decide to ground Nic for at least two weeks. David explains that he doesn’t want to overreact, but he also doesn’t want to underreact—he wants to show how seriously he takes the breach of their relationship. David also wants to limit Nic’s time with his new friends, even though he knows he can’t control who his son hangs out with.

David asks Nic why he tried pot: he knows that not long ago, the idea of smoking anything repulsed him. Nic says he was curious about pot, but that he didn’t like it. Nic promises never to try it again. David asks about other drugs and alcohol. Nic is adamant that he hasn’t tried other drugs, but that once, on a ski trip, he and a friend tried just a bit of all the liquor in the house’s cabinet. They wanted to see what it was like to get “good and drunk.” David remembers waking up in the morning to find them throwing up, thinking that it was the flu. Nic says that he hasn’t touched alcohol since because it makes him sick to think about. Nic adds one more thought: that it’s hard to say no when everybody else drinks and smokes.

David calls Nic’s teacher at school to tell him what happened. The teacher explains that Nic does well in school and is a leader, but he notes that Nic is being pulled by the kids that are seen as “cool.” He tells David not to worry, that most students try pot—even as young as Nic is, at 12. He suggests that David and Karen talk to Nic about it but counsels against forbidding friends, as it makes the friends more attractive. The teacher says that “steering them works better than forcing them.”

David warns Nic again about pot. He notes that almost everyone he knows who smoked pot in high school tried other drugs—and everyone he knew who used hard drugs started with pot. David starts to worry about all of his past decisions—their move out of San Francisco, the divorce. He also blames his hypocrisy in telling Nic not to use drugs when he used them. Nic listens intently, but David is unsure whether he is taking it in. Three weeks later, David decides that Nic is no longer grounded, hoping that the incident has taught Nic a useful lesson.

Nic soon starts eighth grade, and things seem better to David. On one weekend when Nic is 13, the two of them go out for evening surfing when the swell is up. The surfing is the best it’s ever been, and they surf well past sunset. Fog obscures their view, and David realizes that they are on opposite sides of a current, pushing away from each other. David paddles blindly for a half hour, frantically searching for Nic through the fog. Finally, he sees Nic through the fog, “tall and magnificent” and surfing beautifully. When Nic sees David, he smiles and waves.

On the way home, Nic and David stop at a taqueria. Nic talks excitedly about his new high school. After he spent a day visiting the school, he relayed that everyone seemed so passionate, and that the teachers were really engaged. He says that “everything seems pretty great.” Middle school graduation soon arrives, and David is moved by the ceremony, observing that the students are children testing the waters of adulthood. The students cheer wildly for one another when they are called up.

After Nic’s graduation, he is soon to leave for another summer in Los Angeles. He arranges with Vicki, however, to wait until Karen’s new baby is born. Marguerite (whom they call Daisy) is born on June 7. Nic helps give Daisy her first bath. He tells Nancy, “I never thought I would have a family like this.” The next day, Nic and Jasper play in the grass as Karen and Daisy watch. David is struck by the fact that parenthood comes with a great deal of joy but also anxiety over how vulnerable children can be. He wishes that his children could always be nearby, happy, and safe.