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Chapter Three
Themes
and Colors
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Before We Were Free, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Coming of Age and Political Consciousness
Adulthood, Childhood, and Fear
Family and Politics
Storytelling and Trauma
Summary
Analysis
Anita writes that Mrs. Brown always says that writing makes someone more interesting and more thoughtful. Writing is definitely making Anita think more—especially about Sam. She wants him to be her boyfriend. Anita explains that she writes in pencil in her diary so she can erase everything with Carla’s eraser if the SIM come. She’s also worried about Mami, who’s not usually nosy but under current circumstances, might overreact. So Anita writes personal things in the morning and then erases them at night. She hasn’t told Sam about her diary for fear he’ll want to read it. Anita wishes she had the invisible ink that Sam told her about, because writing in pencil and erasing makes her sad.
At this point, the novel begins to read more like Anita’s diary. Here, Anita seems like a budding preteen in that she’s interested in romance and agonized that Sam might discover how she feels. This passage begins to show the effects of having to live with so much secrecy and silence. While Mrs. Brown and Anita both think that writing down thoughts helps someone to develop their personality and intellect, this is not something that Anita is really able to do—she has to erase her thoughts as soon as she writes them, and she probably self-censors to some degree, since she lives in so much fear of her mother or the government finding her diary. So not only is Anita not able to develop her writing in the way she wants to, but she’s also sad about having to erase deeply-felt feelings each day, which feels like an assault on her personhood. This is the novel’s first clue that silence can be traumatizing—though at this point, it’s not yet truly traumatic, just frustrating.
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Themes
The principal postpones the start of school until the end of January, since so many American students will be away for the inauguration of John F. Kennedy. The Farlands won’t be coming back afterwards, so Papi takes Anita to go say goodbye. Anita catches bits of the adults’ conversation—which includes mentions of tennis shoes, Butterflies, and a CIA intervention—but Mrs. Farland sends Anita to play with Joey. Anita knows how the Americans elect their presidents and that the president can only win the election twice. In the Dominican Republic, Trujillo is the only one who runs in elections. He’s been the jefe for 31 years and nobody will tell Anita why no one runs against him.
Visiting Joey and thinking about American elections helps Anita come up with more questions about her own government; she doesn’t understand why Trujillo gets to be president indefinitely, while in other countries the citizens have a choice. This is more evidence that Anita is beginning to understand that her government isn’t trustworthy or desirable—it doesn’t seem responsive to the people’s will.
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Themes
At the next canasta get together, the women list the families who have left. Mrs. Washburn insists that she’s not leaving until Mr. Washburn leaves. She says that “That S.O.B.’s a dead duck if he dares lay a hand on us,” which elicits no response from the Dominican ladies. Mami primly asks Mrs. Washburn to put a lid on the sugar bowl to protect it from flies. Anita doesn’t see any flies and wonders if Lorena, who’s collecting empty cups, scared them away. Then, Anita realizes Mami is speaking in code—talking about flies means the women are being overheard. Anita feels like she’s not supposed to be here. She felt the same way when Lucinda told her what menstruation was.
Anita starts spending more time in the bathroom. She stands in front of the mirror, staring at her reflection and wondering if she’s pretty enough for Sam. One afternoon, Mrs. Mancini brings Oscar to the canasta meeting. Anita is worried that Sam won’t want to hang out with her if Oscar is around and puts off going outside to play. She finally finds the boys jumping on the trampoline, and it upsets Anita that they became friends without her. All of this is confusing; Anita thinks that writing is the only thing that makes her feel less crazy. She turns to go back inside, but Oscar yells and leads Sammy after her. Anita feels happy again.
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Themes
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Anita sits with Sam and Oscar under the trampoline as Oscar shares that the school might close due to everyone leaving. Sam announces that his family is staying, since they have “amnesia.” Oscar corrects him, saying that Sam’s family has immunity, not amnesty. Oscar’s family also has immunity, and Oscar notes that lots of people—like Anita’s uncle—hide in the embassies to escape the SIM. This piques Anita’s interest, but Oscar says he can’t say which uncle. In any case, countries are closing their embassies due to the embargo. This is why the U.S. now has a consulate instead of an embassy, which means that Mr. Washburn can’t help people “who want to free this country.” Anita wants to shout that they are free, but she realizes they’re not—Anita has to erase her diary, Tío Toni is gone, and the SIM raided the property.
Anita writes everything Oscar says in her diary. She doesn’t know what she’d do without it, as writing makes her feel like she’s piecing her world back together. Things are confusing. Lucinda now lets Anita stay in bed with her when Anita has nightmares, and Oscar tells terrifying stories about El Jefe. Anita shudders to think that she prayed to El Jefe instead of Jesus. One day, Oscar explains what it means to “disappear” someone. It means arresting someone, cutting out their eyes and fingernails, and throwing the body in the sea. Sam is impressed; Anita feels ready to vomit. She changes the subject by mentioning the ghost she and Sam believe lives in Tío Toni’s house. Oscar suggests they go look.
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Chucha intercepts the children before they can get there. After scolding Anita, she warns Anita to be careful—things will happen soon, and Anita won’t find protection except in “dark hiding places, wings, and prayers.” Sam can’t understand Chucha’s mix of Spanish and Haitian words, so Anita tells him that Chucha is speaking in riddles. Then, Anita asks Chucha if Tío Toni is okay. Suddenly, Toni’s face appears in the window of his house. Both Oscar and Sam see the face and Sam asks who it is. Chucha tells Anita to tell Sam “that it’s someone he did not see.”
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Anita is writing Chucha’s words to Sam in her diary when Mami knocks on the door. Anita erases her entry and shoves the diary under her pillow. Mami leads Anita outside and says she knows unusual things are happening. When Mami says softly that Anita has to be a big girl now, Anita snaps that she’s 12. She hates it when people talk to her like she’s little, but she also misses being a kid. Mami apologizes and says she’s going to talk to Anita like she’s a young lady. Anita rolls her eyes and says she already knows a lot, but she decides not to tell Mami about seeing Tío Toni or Oscar’s scary stories. Instead, she says she’s been learning about becoming a señorita.
Mami says that Anita’s uncles were unhappy with the government. They made a plan, but the SIM found out and arrested or killed those who didn’t leave the country. She says that Papi didn’t want to get involved at first, since he didn’t want to put his family in danger. But now, he believes that a life without freedom isn’t worth living. Anita thinks this sounds terrifying, so she asks why they don’t find freedom in New York. Mami points out that people have to persist to change things for the better, which makes Anita feel ashamed for being afraid. Mami says that one day, they’ll be free and, at that point, the rest of the family will return. She says the embargo is already helping; it’s pressuring Trujillo to appear more fair to other countries, so he released some political prisoners who were Tío Toni’s friends.
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Themes
Mami explains that Tío Toni has been in hiding. He’s safe with Mr. Washburn next door, but Anita needs to avoid drawing attention to him. Then, Mami swears Anita to secrecy and asks that Anita stop writing in her diary for a while. Anita feels gutted, but Mami says they have to be like the caterpillar in its cocoon. They have to be secret until they can spread their wings. Anita agrees and erases her diary.
