Mrs. Johnstone
The biological mother of Mickey and Edward (as well as a horde of other children, including Sammy and Donna Marie), Mrs. Johnstone is a deeply superstitious woman who is forever scrambling to get by…
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The Narrator
All-knowing and always slightly menacing, the Narrator takes many roles throughout the musical. Sometimes he plays various parts (such as the Milkman), while at other times he watches the action and comments upon it…
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Mickey
As the twin that the lower-class Mrs. Johnstone keeps, Mickey has a rough-and-tumble childhood, but at his core he is an honest, sincere, and goodhearted individual (much like his twin brother Edward). Unlike Edward…
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Edward
Like his twin brother Mickey, Edward is a sincere, honest, and good-natured boy. Despite having grown up in the lap of luxury with the high-strung and snobbish Mrs. Lyons, he is not entitled…
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Mrs. Jennifer Lyons
The opposite of Mrs. Johnstone—whom she employs as a cleaning lady when the play begins—the infertile and snobbish Mrs. Lyons adopts Edward as her own child, and raises him as a wealthy, upper-class boy…
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Linda
Linda begins the musical as a tomboyish young girl, but quickly morphs into an object of desire for both of the twin brothers. At the beginning of her adolescence, she only has eyes for Mickey…
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Sammy Johnstone
The “bad apple” of the Johnstone family, Sammy begins the play as an object of envy for his younger brother, Mickey. Dropped on his head by a young Donna Marie when he was a…
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Mr. Richard Lyons
A wealthy businessman, Mr. Lyons feels affection for his wife Mrs. Lyons and his son Edward, but is too oblivious and self-important to realize that Edward is in fact not his biological child. As…
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The Policemen
Figures of authority, policemen show up at various unlucky times throughout the musical. At first their antics are fairly comical as they try to keep Edward, Mickey, and Linda from mischief, but later…
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Minor Characters
Miss Jones
The secretary to the Managing Director, Miss Jones transcribes the firing of many employees (including Mickey) before being fired himself.
Donna Marie
One of Mrs. Johnstone’s older children. Donna Marie dropped Sammy on his head when he was a baby, and she too becomes a mother at a young age.
Milkman
A character played by the Narrator, the Milkman threatens to stop delivering to Mrs. Johnstone unless she pays him. This is the final straw that convinces her to give up one of her twins.
Gynecologist
Also played by the Narrator, the Gynecologist reveals to Mrs. Johnstone that she’s going to have twins.
Catalogue Man
The Catalogue Man scolds Mrs. Johnstone for ordering gifts she can’t afford for her children.
Finance Man
The Finance Man attempts to force an impoverished Mrs. Johnstone to pay her bills.
Teachers
Generally figures of joyless oppression, one teacher tries to force Edward to remove his locket, while another mocks Mickey for being bored in school. Like the policemen, they symbolize authority.
Neighborhood Children
Friends of Mickey and Linda growing up. The neighborhood children enjoy playing games about war, guns, and violence.
Managing Director
Another figure of uncaring authority, the managing director fires hundreds of employees (including his faithful secretary Miss Jones, and the luckless Mickey) without any feelings of guilt or remorse.
Judge
The Judge sentences the juvenile delinquent Sammy, but is lenient on him because he finds Mrs. Johnstone attractive. Like many figures of authority in the play, he is hypocritical and dishonest.
Conductor
The conductor drives the bus that the criminal Sammy tries to rob.
Doctor
Employed at Mickey’s prison, the doctor prescribes him antidepressants, beginning his addiction.
Warder
The warder takes Linda to visit Mickey while he’s in prison.
Woman
A strange woman who greets Mickey at Edward’s former house after the Lyons family moves away.
Neighbors
The Johnstones’ neighbors in Liverpool rejoice when they hear that the large, rowdy family is moving to the country.
City Councilors
The councilors, Edward’s colleagues, are horrified witnesses when Mickey guns Edward down in city hall (and is killed in turn by the police).
Sarah
The young daughter of Mickey and Linda.
