Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness: Chapter 7 Summary & Analysis

Susannah doesn't remember walking home after her interview. She doesn't sleep again that night, which marks a week since she truly slept. Regardless, she heads to work the next day, which is a crisp and cold March day. When Susannah reaches Times Square, the billboards are suddenly too much: the colors vibrate. Initially it's thrilling, but Susannah soon wants to vomit on the street. When she stumbles into the newsroom she finds that the lights still feel too bright, but don't seem as aggressive.

Conspiratorially, Susannah whispers to Angela that she's seeing bright colors that hurt her eyes. Angela looks worried as Susannah elaborates on what she saw on her walk through Times Square. When Angela suggests that Susannah is just hung over, Susannah insists that she didn't drink, and says she fears she's losing her mind. Angela suggests that Susannah go back to the doctor. Susannah is frustrated that she's acting like a crazy person and slams her hands down on her keyboard. She shouts that she can't do this, which attracts Angela's attention again. Susannah begins crying, feeling humiliated.

Angela asks Susannah if she wants to go for a walk, but Susannah just continues crying. She sobs that she doesn't know what's wrong with her, and tries to fixate on anything that might be the cause of this strange outburst. She thinks that she's bad at her job, Stephen doesn't love her, she's crazy and stupid. Her colleagues begin filing in after the funeral and look at her curiously. When another reporter asks Susannah if she's okay, Susannah shouts at her to stop.

Suddenly, Susannah's misery turns into intense happiness. She begins laughing through her tears and runs to the bathroom to splash water on her face. As she looks around, she realizes that the bathroom looks strange and unnatural. Susannah calls Mackenzie and asks her to meet outside to discuss what just happened. Mackenzie suggests that Susannah write down all her symptoms and then see a doctor. Susannah thinks this idea is genius and runs back to her desk. However, rather than write down her symptoms, she writes a few random words, doodles, and writes, "people are desperate, they'll do anything."

Very suddenly again, Susannah begins to clear everything off her desk. She feels happy and in control of her life, though she realizes her happiness is tenuous and won't last. Susannah announces to Angela that everything will be great, and she asks Paul to go smoke with her outside. In the elevator, Susannah tells Paul that she feels like herself again, and she wants to start working on more hard-hitting investigations. Paul asks Susannah if she's okay, since she's talking so fast, and he asks if she's called Mom recently. Susannah explains to the reader that Paul said later that he thought Susannah was on the edge of a mental breakdown, as he'd seen a similar thing happen with another young reporter.

After ten minutes, Paul heads inside and calls Angela. He insists they need to call Susannah's mom because something is very wrong. Susannah stays outside and feels the same kind of feeling she felt at the top of the mountain in Vermont. She feels as though she's floating high above the crowd and sees Liz come out of the building. Susannah then "reenters" her body and calls Liz over. She asks Liz if out-of-body experiences are normal, and Liz apologizes for taking Susannah to another realm during the tarot reading.

Angela gets permission from Paul to take Susannah for a drink, with the hope of piecing together why Susannah is acting so out-of-character. When they enter the hotel lobby, Susannah feels claustrophobic and like she can't breathe. She begs to take the escalator, but the escalators only make the sensation worse. Susannah starts sobbing and has to get off the elevator three times before she finally makes it to the bar on the eighth floor. The rugs in the bar swirl and move, and Susannah tries to ignore them. Angela orders Susannah some wine, since Susannah is still too distraught to order for herself, and asks her what's going on. Susannah mentions that she's bad at her job and Stephen doesn't love her, but admits that there's more wrong—though she doesn't know what it is.

When Susannah gets home that night, later than usual, Stephen is already there cooking dinner. Rather than take Angela's advice and tell Stephen the truth, Susannah lies about where she's been. When she tells Stephen that she hasn't been sleeping, he opens a bottle of wine. As Stephen cooks, Susannah paces. She announces that her insomnia might make it difficult for Stephen to sleep, but he insists that she'll sleep better with him there.

Stephen hands Susannah a plate of pasta, but she can barely look at it without gagging. Stephen is hurt that Susannah doesn't like it, but she insists she's just not hungry. Susannah finally lies down with Stephen. She leaves her untouched glass of wine on the windowsill, but chain-smokes. When Stephen comments on her smoking, Susannah agrees that she should stop. Stephen turns on PBS and falls asleep, and Susannah watches a reality show that follows Gwyneth Paltrow, a chef, and a food critic through Spain. Susannah's stomach turns watching them eat. She laughs and then everything goes hazy and dark.