DNA

Do I disgust you? I do. No, I do. No don’t because, it’s alright, it’s fine, I’m not gonna, you know, or whatever, you know it’s not the collapse of my, because I do have, I could walk out of here, there are friends, I’ve got, I’ve got friends, I mean alright, I haven’t got friends, not exactly, I haven’t, but I could, if I wanted, if I wanted, given the right, given the perfect, you know, circumstances.

You’re not scared. Nothing scares, there, I’ve said it; scared. Scared, Phil. I’m scared, they scare me, this place, everyone, the fear, the fear that everyone here, and I’m not the only one, I’m not the only one, Phil, I’m just the only one saying it, the fear that everyone here lives in, the brutal terror, it scares me, okay, I’ve said it and I am not ashamed.

No, I’m just wondering. I mean what is happy, what’s happy all about, who says you’re supposed to be happy, like we’re all supposed to be happy, happy is our natural, and any deviation from that state is seen as a failure, which in itself makes you more unhappy so you have to pretend to be even happier which doesn’t work because people can see that you’re pretending which makes them awkward and you can see that they can see that you’re pretending to be happy and their awkwardness is making you even more unhappy so you have to pretend to be even happier, it’s a nightmare.

Everything’s much better, though. I mean really, it is. Everyone’s working together. They’re a lot happier. Remember last month, Dan threatened to kill Cathy? well yesterday I saw him showing her his phone, like they were old friends. Last week Richard invited Mark to his party, bring a friend, anyone you like, can you believe that? Richard and Mark? Yep. Everyone’s happier. It’s pouring into the school, grief, grief is making them happy.

No, no, yeah, no, actually, because that man, the man who, he doesn’t actually, I mean I’m not being fussy or anything, but the man who kidnapped Adam doesn’t actually exist, does he. Well does he?

PHIL: You’re going in.

BRIAN: No.

PHIL: Yes.

BRIAN: No, Phil –

PHIL: Yes, yes, shhhh, yes. Sorry. You have to go in. Or we’ll take you up the grille. […] We’ll throw you in.

RICHARD: Er, Phil.

DANNY: Is he serious?

LEAH: He’s always serious.

PHIL: We’ll take you up the grille now. Well get you by the arms. By the legs. And we’ll swing you onto the grille. We’ll throw rocks at you until you drop through. You’ll drop through. You’ll fall into the cold. Into the dark. You’ll land on Adam’s corpse and you’ll rot together.

LEAH: It’s incredible. The change. This place. You’re a miracle worker. Everyone’s happy. […] Funny thing is they’re all actually behaving better as well. I saw Jan helping a first year find the gym. Mark’s been doing charity work, for Christ’s sake. Maybe being seen as heroes is making them behave like heroes.

PHIL considers his waffle. Decides it needs more jam.

Yeah, everyone happy. Well it’s not all roses, you know. Brian’s on medication. […] John Tate hasn’t been seen in weeks, and the postman’s facing the rest of his life in prison, but, you know, omelettes and eggs, as long as you’ve your waffle, who cares.

LEAH: How’ve you been living?

ADAM: In the hedge.

LEAH: No, how?

What have you been eating?

ADAM: You can eat anything. I eat things.

Nothing dead, I don’t

insects, grass, leaves, all good, but nothing, I caught a rabbit once and ate that, its fur was soft, warm, but nothing, I found a dead bird and ate some of that but it made me sick so nothing, nothing dead, that’s the rule, nothing

Beat.

What?

BRIAN: That was great!

PHIL: You just do what Cathy says.

BRIAN: I am brilliant at doing what people say.

LEAH: No! Stop, don’t, don’t, Phil, don’t, what are you doing, what are you...

PHIL: He’s dead, everyone thinks he’s dead. What difference will it make?

She stares at him.

LEAH: But he’s not dead. He’s alive.

And in that second, Phil, I knew that there was life on other planets. I knew we weren’t alone in the universe, I didn’t just think it or feel it, I knew it, I know it, it was as if the universe was suddenly shifting and giving me a glimpse, this vision that could see everything, just for a fraction of a heartbeat of a second. But I couldn’t see who they were or what they were doing or how they were living.

How do you think they’re living, Phil?

How do you think they’re living?