Don’t Call Me Ishmael

Miss Tarango says she needs someone brave who’s capable of “tackling the power of language.” A few boys raise their hands, but Miss Tarango says she should explain the task further. She puts her chair on the platform at the front of the room and says the volunteer must stay in the chair while she, using only the power of language, tries to get him off. She can’t do anything to the volunteer—but she guarantees that before she circles the chair three times, the volunteer will have gotten up. The class is disbelieving, but Barry volunteers. Nobody tries to argue.

Barry saunters to the front, where Miss Tarango asks very seriously if he suffers from a weak heart or dizzy spells. He insists she can’t scare him off, but she says she’s just being thorough—and if he doesn’t want to do this, nobody will think any less of him. Ishmael is certain Miss Tarango won’t actually hurt Barry—right? Barry sits down and Miss Tarango says he has to face front while she circles the chair three times. He loses if he looks behind him. Barry nods, but he looks slightly less arrogant. Miss Tarango shows him where her circles begin—and says if he wins, he’ll get the entire week off. She must be mad; only the principal, Brother Jerome, can promise something like that.

When Barry says he’s ready, Miss Tarango walks slowly around Barry. She finishes the first circle, then the second. Barry looks like he’s glued to his chair, and Ishmael is certain Miss Tarango is going to fail. But then, she completes the third half-circle and, from behind Barry, picks up a marker to write on the whiteboard. She reminds Barry to face forward as she writes something. The class frowns at her; she must be bluffing. She raises her hand above Barry’s head, turns her wrist to look at her watch, and smiles—just as the bell signaling lunch goes off.

Miss Tarango says they’re out of time. Barry objects—is he really supposed to sit in the chair all night? Miss Tarango says that’s exactly what he agreed to. He can look at the board now if he wants. Barry turns around and reads: “Before I walk around the chair three times, you will be off.” Miss Tarango underlines the word “before,” and she notes that she didn’t say when she’d complete her third circle. She’ll complete it someday—but Barry has to stay in the chair until she does. To the class, Miss Tarango says that language is powerful: a word like “before” can do harm if you don’t respect it. She asks everyone to clap for Barry.

This earns Miss Tarango the love and respect of everyone in the class, aside from Barry. After this, Ishmael realizes that she’s going to be the best teacher he’s ever had.