Though Eleanor Douglas and Park Sheridan, the two teen protagonists of Rainbow Rowell’s Eleanor and Park, couldn’t seem more different on the outside, they’re connected deeply on the inside—both Eleanor and Park share a profound sense of loneliness and social isolation. As the two misfits navigate their emotionally and socially fraught sophomore year, they find refuge in one another, and are able to mitigate some of the solitude they feel. Ultimately, though, Rowell suggests that while friendship and love may help minimize some of the emotional burdens of loneliness and social isolation, there is no cure-all for the inherent shame that comes along with the process of growing up.
Eleanor and Park doesn’t shy away from wrestling with the very real feelings of shame and loneliness that define much of adolescence. Eleanor and Park struggle separately—and together—with their experiences of isolation and self-loathing, and though their time together helps them to understand themselves and one another better, the novel ultimately shows that neither is able to fully escape coming of age unscathed. Eleanor and Park are both loners at the start of the novel. Though Park enjoys some residual popularity due to having dated the popular Tina several years ago in junior high, even his so-called “friends” bully him for his Korean heritage, invoking racial slurs and insensitive caricatures of Asian individuals to get a rise out of him. Park puts up with the abuse, and even believes that his friends are right—he resents that he looks different from the other mostly-white students at his school while his brother Josh is white-passing, and wishes he could bury the parts of himself that are different.
Eleanor, on the other hand, is, as the new girl, “fresh meat” so to speak—she is an outsider by virtue of being new to school, and her loud, strange appearance and social awkwardness don’t help at all. Eleanor feels insecure about not fitting in at school, but she wears her men’s Goodwill clothes (the only thing her mother can afford to buy her) like armor, focuses on reading and schoolwork, and even manages to make friends with two girls from her gym class, DeNice and Beebi. Eleanor’s shame and self-loathing stem from her inability to shield herself or her siblings—or, for that matter, her mother—from the poverty and abuse they suffer at the hands of Eleanor’s stepfather, Richie. Like Park, she feels there is something wrong with the core of who she is—and like Park, she feels helpless to change things.
As Eleanor and Park, forced by chance to sit together on the bus one day, slowly begin to connect over comic books and music—and then begin to embark on a romantic relationship—they are shocked by the fact that the other person not only sees them for who they are, but likes them. In being seen and accepted by one another, both Eleanor and Park feel a newfound sense of belonging—they stand up for one another at school, spend time discussing their shared and separate interests alike, and slowly reveal the depths of their private shame to one another. In this way, they help one another feel less lonely, and school and home life become, for a time, easier to navigate as they feel the strength of having a partner at their sides.
As the novel progresses, however, social, familial, societal, and economic pressures continue to press up against Eleanor and Park’s respective shame, loneliness, and self-loathing. Eleanor continues to be bullied by girls at school who put her clothes and shoes in the toilet and stick menstrual pads on her locker in gym class, while Park, enamored with punk rock, experiments with wearing eyeliner and makeup to school, a decision that both invigorates him and causes him shame and anxiety. Eleanor and Park are there for one another when their peers—or their parents—make fun of them or demean them, but they slowly begin to realize that they cannot shield one another completely from the ups and downs of the rocky road to adulthood. Things are further complicated when Eleanor’s home situation grows more and more dire, and she feels the need to flee her abusive stepfather Richie. Both Eleanor and Park receive a sharp, shocking reality check as they see, once and for all, that shame, pain, and loneliness are part not just of adolescence but of life itself.
Adolescence is full of growing pains—intense emotions, social challenges, and feelings of shame and self-loathing are part of any teenage experience. Through Eleanor and Park, Rowell attempts to show her young readers that their feelings are normal—and, occasionally, will be just as inescapable as they feel. Eleanor and Park are each outsiders and loners in their own way, and wrestle both separately and together with their feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. In the end, however, they’re each on their own—though together they’ve grown stronger, more capable, and better-prepared for the struggles still to come.
Related Themes from Other Texts
Adolescence and Shame ThemeTracker
Adolescence and Shame Quotes in Eleanor and Park
Not just new—but big and awkward. With crazy hair, bright red on top of curly. And she was dressed like . . . like she wanted people to look at her. Or maybe like she didn't get what a mess she was. She had on a plaid shirt, a man's shirt, with half a dozen weird necklaces hanging around her neck and scarves wrapped around her wrists. She reminded Park of a scarecrow or one of the trouble dolls his mom kept on her dresser. Like something that wouldn't survive in the wild.
But Park didn’t have any luck—or status—to spare on that dumb redhead. He had just enough to keep himself out of trouble. And he knew it was crappy, but he was kind of grateful that people like that girl existed. Because people like Steve and Mikey and Tina existed, too, and they needed to be fed. If it wasn’t that redhead, it was going to be somebody else. And if it wasn’t somebody else, it was going to be Park.
"So," [Park] said, before he knew what to say next. "You like the Smiths?" He was careful not to blow his morning breath on [Eleanor.]
She looked up, surprised. Maybe confused. He pointed at her book, where she'd written How Soon Is Now? in tall green letters.
"I don't know," she said. "I've never heard them."
"So you just want people to think you like the Smiths?" He couldn't help but sound disdainful.
"Romeo and Juliet are just two rich kids who've always gotten every little thing they want. And now, they think they want each other."
"They're in love…" Mr. Stessman said, clutching his heart.
"They don't even know each other," she said. […] “It's Shakespeare making fun of love.”
Best of all, she had Park's songs in her head—and in her chest, somehow. There was something about the music on that tape. It felt different. Like, it set her lungs and her stomach on edge. There was something exciting about it, and something nervous. It made Eleanor feel like everything, like the world, wasn't what she'd thought it was.
Until this moment, she'd kept Park in a place in her head that she thought Richie couldn't get to. Completely separate from this house and everything that happened here. (It was a pretty awesome place. Like the only part of her head fit for praying.) But now Richie was in there, just pissing all over everything. Making everything she felt feel as rank and rotten as him.
"You don't care what anyone thinks about you," [Park] said.
"That's crazy," [Eleanor] said. "I care what everyone thinks about me."
"I can't tell," he said. "You just seem like yourself, no matter what's happening around you. My grandmother would say you're comfortable in your own skin."
[…]
"I’m stuck in my own skin," she said.
"Stop asking that," she said angrily. There was no stopping the tears now. "You always ask that. Why. Like there's an answer for everything. Not everybody has your life, you know, or your family. In your life, things happen for reasons. People make sense. But that's not my life.”
She would never belong in Park's living room. She never felt like she belonged anywhere, except for when she was lying on her bed, pretending to be somewhere else.
“Your mother's sorry. She's sorry that she hurt your feelings, and she wants you to invite your girlfriend over to dinner."
"So that she can make her feel bad and weird?"
"Well, she is kind of weird, isn't she?"
Park didn't have the energy to be angry. He sighed and let his head fall back on the chair.
His dad kept talking. "Isn't that why you like her?"
[Eleanor] pulled away. "Are you kissing me because I look like someone else?"
"You don't look like someone else. Plus, that's crazy."
"Do you like me better like this?" she asked. "Because I'm never going to look like this again."
[…]
"You look like you,” [Park] said. "You with the volume turned up."
"What do you want me to do?" Eleanor asked. [Ben and Maisie] both stared at her, desperate and almost . . . almost hopeful.
[…]
She was pretty sure she was wired wrong somewhere, that her plugs were switched, because instead of softening toward them—instead of tenderness—she felt herself go cold and mean. "I can't take you with me," she said, "if that's what you're thinking."
[…]
"You don't care about us," Maisie said.
"I do care," Eleanor hissed. "I just can't . . . help you." […] "I can't even help myself."
"Why is your stepdad looking for you?"
"Because he knows, because I ran away."
"Why?"
"Because he knows.” Her voice caught. "Because it's him."
How he looks at me.
Like he's biding his time.
Not like he wants me. Like he'll get around to me. When there's nothing and no one else left to destroy.
How he waits up for me.
Keeps track of me.
How he's always there. When I'm eating. When I'm reading. When I'm brushing my hair.
You don't see.
Because I pretend not to.
Park spent most nights lying on his bed because it was the only place she'd never been.
He lay on his bed and never turned on the stereo.
And they weren't going to break up. Or get bored. Or drift apart. (They weren't going to become another stupid high school romance.) They were just going to stop.
