Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in First Confession, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Catholicism, Judgment and Hypocrisy
Fear and Violence
Faith and Ritual
Summary
Analysis
Jackie, a seven-year-old boy, describes “all the trouble” that began in his family when his grandfather died and his father’s mother, Gran, came to live with them. She is a “real old country woman and quite unsuited to life in town,” because of her uncouth country manners. Jackie and his mother both dislike her and find it disgusting when she roams the house in bare feet and eats with her fingers instead of a fork.
Jackie and his mother interpret Gran’s country etiquette as a sign that her presence in town is unsuitable. Their judgments of this old widow seem unkind and unnecessary—they don’t judge her because she’s a bad person, only because her behavior is unrefined. This suggests from the beginning that Jackie and his mother have an ethical compass that is attuned more to appearances than to actual wrongdoing.
Themes
Jackie believes that girls “are supposed to be fastidious” and that he suffers because of this. While Jackie’s sister Nora “suck[s] up” to Gran to get a penny from her pension every week, Jackie won’t do this, because he claims to be “too honest.” Mortified by his grandmother’s behavior, he keeps his friends from the house when she’s there.
Jackie relies on stereotypes about girls to understand Nora’s behavior. He expects her to be fastidious, so when she is not disgusted by Gran, he assumes she is being insincere. At the same time, he believes his own nature is honest, even while he is hiding Gran from his friends. This shows his hypocrisy, which will become more apparent as the story continues.
Themes
When the children’s mother is at work, Gran makes their dinner and Jackie is so disgusted that he won’t eat it. One night, he hides under the table with a bread-knife so no one will force him to eat. Nora tries to get him to sit at the table and Jackie attacks her with the bread-knife.
Jackie believes his rudeness to Gran and violence towards Nora are justified, even though all they have done is make dinner for him and ask him to eat it. It’s becoming clearer that, while Jackie blames Gran for the trouble in their family, he is really the one behaving badly.
Themes
When their father comes home, Nora tells him about Jackie’s behavior. He beats Jackie, and the children’s mother intervenes. For several days, the parents won’t speak to one another, Mother won’t speak to Nora, and Father won’t speak to Jackie. Jackie blames all these events on Gran.
Jackie’s father beats him as a punishment for being rude to Gran and attacking Nora, but it doesn’t teach Jackie to behave better. Instead of making him examine his own choices and values, this violence only makes Jackie more committed to blaming others—mostly Gran—for his own shortcomings.
Themes
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“To crown [his] misfortunes,” soon after this Jackie has to make his first Confession and Communion. A neighbor woman called Mrs. Ryan prepares the children in town for these rituals. She is Gran’s age, but well-to-do. Her lessons are obsessed with the torments of hell but they rarely mention heaven. In Jackie’s estimation, “Hell had the first place in her heart.”
Jackie sees these holy rituals as misfortunes because he and Mrs. Ryan have no clear understanding of the rituals’ spiritual meaning. Had Mrs. Ryan adequately prepared him for Confession instead of fearmongering about hell, he might have understood that this ritual could connect him to God and help him behave better. Jackie is only taught about judgment, not redemption, which shows in his behavior; he himself is judgmental of others, but never forgiving.
Themes
Mrs. Ryan tells the children she will give a valuable half-crown coin to any boy who will hold his finger in a candle’s flame for five minutes. Jackie is tempted to try but he doesn’t want to appear greedy. When nobody volunteers, she tells the children that if they’re too afraid to put a finger in a candle for five minutes, then they should be petrified of “burning all over in roasting hot furnaces for all eternity.” Jackie remains fixated on the half-crown and he is disappointed when she puts it back in her own bag.
Note that Jackie doesn’t sit out this challenge because he’s afraid of the prospect of burning his finger in a flame—he’s worried that he’ll appear greedy if he does something extreme for money. This shows Jackie’s profound fear of appearing sinful and being publicly judged. Mrs. Ryan is clearly using the candle as a metaphor for hell, so it’s significant that Jackie doesn’t fear it. What motivates Jackie throughout the story is not a desire to behave morally or even a fear of hell, but rather a fear of judgment by those around him. In other words, Jackie doesn’t have genuine religious feeling, only a desire to seem religious to his peers. This is consistent with how he and his mother disapprove of Gran’s appearance, even while Gran is kindly making the family dinner.
Themes
Mrs. Ryan tells another story about a priest who is awakened in the night by a ghostly man who made an incomplete Confession and wants to confess the rest of his sins. While the priest dresses, the man vanishes and leaves the mark of his burning hands on the bed frame. Jackie is terrified of this story.
This story is mere superstition—the Bible never suggests that this is the punishment for making an incomplete Confession. This shows how the authority figures in Jackie’s life are not really helping him understand his faith. Furthermore, it’s significant that Jackie is completely unaffected by the prospect of burning his finger on a candle, but he is terrified by this story. As the candle scene suggests, Jackie’s fear of this story has to do with the possibility of being judged by his peers for his sinful behavior. After all, the mark of the sinner’s hands on the bed frame is a visible sign of sin. If Jackie were to make an incomplete Confession, he worries that his sin would be similarly visible to all.
Themes
When Mrs. Ryan explains how the children should examine their consciences, Jackie is even more afraid because he knows he has “broken the whole ten commandments,” all because of Gran. He believes he has no hope of behaving better while Gran lives in their house.
Jackie is aware that he has sinned, but he thinks Gran and her country manners have caused all his bad behavior. Mrs. Ryan has not taught him that he is responsible for his own actions. Because he doesn’t understand that he is the cause of his own actions and not Gran, he thinks it’s impossible for him to stop breaking the ten commandments while Gran is in the house. Though he doesn’t tell the reader at this point in the story, this is likely where he begins the plan to murder Gran that he later confesses to the priest. It’s ironic that Mrs. Ryan’s teaching about the ten commandments, intended as a moral guide, would lead Jackie to contemplate murder.
Themes
The day Jackie is supposed to go to Confession for the first time with his class, he fakes a toothache to get out of it. He has to make it up on Saturday, and—even worse—his mother can’t go with him so she sends Jackie with Nora instead. Nora, Jackie says, has “ways of tormenting me that Mother never knew of.”
Jackie lies about having a toothache but does not see this as contrary to his self-conception, expressed earlier, of being “too honest.” This is an example of his lack of self-awareness, similar to how he judges Gran for her errors while he also makes ignorant mistakes. In this case, Nora bears the consequence of Jackie’s lie since she is responsible for Jackie’s care while their mother works. Jackie is self-centered and does not see that he has made Nora’s life harder; he only sees his own misfortune of having to walk with her.
Themes
Walking to the church, Nora says “Oh Jackie, my heart bleeds for you!” and reminds him of all his sins that he will have to confess, including attacks against herself and Gran. Jackie reflects that Nora “didn’t know the half of what I had to tell—if I told it.” He understands why the man in Mrs. Ryan’s story didn’t own up to all his sins. Before they go into the church, Nora “became the raging malicious devil she really was” and says, “I hope he’ll give you the penitential psalms.”
Nora expresses her anger at Jackie through false sympathy, relishing the punishment she believes is in store for her brother. However, her conception of penance—the Catholic ritual of atonement for sin—as punishment rather than an opportunity for redemption shows how punitive and judgmental their exposure to the Church has been. Rather than owning up to his bad behavior, Jackie believes that Nora’s anger is caused by her bad nature—as a “raging malicious devil”–rather than by his torment of her.
Themes
Jackie believes he is “lost, given up to eternal justice” while he waits in the church for his turn to confess. Indoors, “the sunlight went out and gave place to deep shadow.” He sees a man praying “in an anguished tone” and thinks “only a grandmother could account for a fellow behaving in that heartbroken way.”
The descriptions of the “deep shadow” indicate that church is a fearful place for Jackie, and his association with the word “justice” seems to be hopelessness, rather than fairness. When Jackie describes the other people in the church, his description shows that he is still locked in his narrow perspective. He can’t imagine suffering unlike his own, so when he sees a man praying “in an anguished tone” he believes a grandmother must be responsible.
Themes
Jackie expects that he won’t be able to make a full Confession and then, according to Mrs. Ryan’s story, he will die in the night and “be continually coming back and burning people’s furniture.”
Jackie is afraid of making a full Confession because he doesn’t want the priest to judge him. His fear about making an incomplete Confession is similar: that he would leave visible traces of his sins if he came back as a burning ghost like in Mrs. Ryan’s story. Whether he makes a full or a partial Confession, he is afraid of being seen and judged as bad. He does not expect to have the courage to choose the full Confession.
Themes
It’s Nora’s turn for Confession, and she comes out looking serene and devoted. Jackie thinks “God, the hypocrisy of women!” because of the “devilish malice” with which she spoke to him on the way to the church.
When Jackie sees that Nora appears to have been satisfied by the ritual of Confession, he believes her response must be false. He relies on his stereotypes about women and girls to explain Nora’s behavior. Since he does not believe that he is responsible for his own actions, he blames Nora and Gran for causing him to sin. When Nora scolds him, he takes this as more evidence of her “devilish malice.” Since he thinks she is the kind of person that causes his sins and then blames him for them, he believes her nature is so bad it is impossible for her to feel genuine serenity or devotion.
Themes
Then it’s Jackie’s turn to confess, and he goes into the confessional “with the fear of damnation in my soul.”In the booth, it’s dark and he is afraid of God, who “knew what my intentions were before I even started; I had no chance.” Jackie forgets all his instructions and begins the ritual of Confession even without the priest, saying “Bless me father for I have sinned,” and then he sits in silence. Jackie feels that God has “spotted” him.
Alone in the dark, Jackie faces his worst fear, which is for his true intentions to be seen and judged. Mrs. Ryan’s teaching has not prepared Jackie for even the most basic logistics of this ritual, and he doesn’t understand the redemptive spiritual meaning, either. This is the first time in the story that Jackie acknowledges that he has had sinful intentions, and they are no one’s fault but his own. When he says, “I had no chance,” he means he had no chance to hide the sinful truth about himself. When he believes God can see the truth about him, he knows that God would be right to judge him. Though he doesn’t understand that the ritual of Confession is supposed to show him how to atone, his honesty about his sinful actions is the beginning of the ritual that ought to end with forgiveness and connection to God.
Themes
Jackie notices a shelf on the wall of the confessional. It is designed for adults to put their elbows on, but Jackie doesn’t know how he is supposed to behave and he climbs up onto the shelf and balances precariously. He is sitting up there when the priest opens the window of the booth and says, “Who’s there?”
Jackie’s lack of preparation for the rituals of the church is so extreme that he doesn’t even know how to sit in the confessional. While he’s in a new situation, he is guessing how to behave and getting it wrong. He is making a mistake equivalent to Gran’s etiquette errors, but this experience doesn’t teach him to feel empathy for her. He doesn’t see the similarity between this experience and her experience moving from the country to the town.
Themes
When the priest understands that Jackie is crouched on the elbow shelf in the confessional, he angrily says “What are you doing up there?” Jackie loses his balance and falls off the shelf and out the door of the confessional. The priest comes out of his section of the booth and the people who are waiting to confess all stand in shock.
In the confessional, Jackie’s mistake was private, but when he falls off the shelf and out of the confessional, many people see him embarrassing himself. The priest’s first reaction to Jackie’s mistake is anger, which echoes Jackie and his mother reacting angrily to Gran’s errors.
Themes
Nora comes over to Jackie also, scolding him for his mistake and saying he has disgraced her. She slaps him on the ear, and he begins to cry. The priest directs his anger at Nora and says, “how dare you hit the child like that, you little vixen?” Nora says she can’t say her penitential prayers while caring for Jackie, and the priest tells her to go away lest he give her more prayers to say.
Nora interprets Jackie’s embarrassing mistake as willful misbehavior and uses violence as a punishment. Both of these reactions are similar to how her own mother reacts to Gran’s errors and how her father reacts to Jackie’s misbehavior by beating him. Like the beatings at home, Jackie does not learn a positive lesson from her violence. The priest appears to disapprove of violence when he scolds Nora for this slap. He also uses prayers as a threat of punishment to her, which sheds some light on why Nora and Jackie think of prayers as punishment rather than redemption.
Themes
The priest helps Jackie stand up and asks him kindly if this is his first Confession. He reassures Jackie that “a big hefty fellow” like Jackie will have “terrible sins” and “the crimes of a lifetime” to confess, and he gives Jackie time to collect himself before trying the Confession again. The priest says no one else in line for Confession is likely to have anything much to confess.
This kindness from the priest is the first merciful reaction in the story. The priest felt anger but put it aside when he understood more about the situation. The priest’s kindness makes Jackie feel calm and safe. At the same time, the priest connects the idea of being “a big hefty fellow” with “terrible sins,” which teaches Jackie to feel that he is more important than the other people in line. The priest tells Jackie that having big sins makes him more important than people with smaller sins.
Themes
Jackie is relieved that the priest seems “intelligent above the ordinary” in his understanding that Jackie’s lifetime of sin is normal. In this light, none of Jackie’s sins (“barring the one bad business with my grandmother”) seem so bad. He decides that the stories of Hell and penitential psalms are only “the cackle of old women and girls.”
Jackie shows what an enormous change the priest’s words have made in his understanding of sin. Instead of being afraid to be seen as sinful by other people or by God, the priest has taught him to feel that committing serious sins makes him important. He no longer feels shame about his sins, or anxiety about confessing them. He expresses his trust in the priest by calling him “intelligent above the ordinary.” As the priest has connected having significant sins to confess with a masculine description of Jackie as a “big hefty fellow” earlier, Jackie connects the idea of being punished for one’s sins with femininity, and foolishness—“the cackle of old women and girls”
Themes
When it’s Jackie’s turn, the priest shows him how to sit in the confessional and asks him, “what’s a-trouble to you, Jackie?” Jackie thinks he should confess his worst sin while the priest is in a good mood. He says he plotted to kill Gran.
The priest shows Jackie how to behave in the confessional, but then takes an informal, personal tone, parting from the ritual language of Confession. This is the first time the story shows how far Jackie has taken his anger against Gran—that he has plotted to murder her. He is confessing to the reader as well as to the priest and God.
Themes
While the priest is silent at first, he asks Jackie why he would make this plan, drawing Jackie out about Gran being an “awful woman.” The priest affirms Jackie’s judgments of Gran, and even asks what Jackie planned to do with the body. Jackie then confesses to attacking Nora with a knife. The priest confirms that Nora is the little girl that slapped Jackie earlier, and he says, “someone will go after her with a bread-knife one day and he won’t miss her.”
Before this point in the story, the priest has scolded Nora for slapping Jackie, and he has been kind to Jackie after his mistake—the priest appeared to be a kind-hearted person who behaved according to the teaching of mercy in the Catholic Church. At this point, it is clear that his judgment is no more divine than Jackie’s. He confirms Jackie’s narrow perspective and approves his violent impulses. He does not change his gentle playful tone when Jackie describes his plot to kill Gran. In the priest’s estimation, Nora slapping Jackie’s ear means that she deserves to be stabbed. This is counter to Catholic teaching that a person may always earn divine forgiveness.
Themes
The priest tells Jackie that he must have “great courage,” since there are lots of people the priest would like to stab if it wasn’t for his fear of being hanged for murder. He tells Jackie that he has seen lots of hangings and “they all died roaring”—many of them for killing their grandmothers, and none of them felt it was worth it.
The priest’s reasons for not committing murder are no more divine than one of Jackie’s father’s beatings or Mrs. Ryan’s talk of hellfire. Th priest only offers Jackie another threat of violence (hanging) to keep him behaving well, without offering any moral insight.
Themes
The priest walks Jackie into the chapel yard, and Jackie is sorry when he leaves, thinking that the priest is the “most entertaining character I’d ever met in the religious line.” Away from the “shadow” indoors, Jackie feels “dazzled” by the sunlight and the noise of the street. His “heart soar[s]” knowing that he won’t “die in the night and come back,” burning his mother’s furniture.
Jackie is relieved of his anxieties about the sins he committed, but not because he completed the ritual of Confession correctly. He has gained no new moral insight into human nature or divine justice. Instead, the priest has taught him that he is more important than other people and his sins are normal and acceptable. He believes that Mrs. Ryan’s story about the burning ghost no longer applies to him because he no longer believes there will be negative consequences for sinning, nor that he should feel shame making a full Confession of his sins in the future.
Themes
Nora is waiting for Jackie outside the church, and she has a sour expression when she sees Jackie with the priest. She asks what the priest gave him, and he tells her three Hail Marys. Nora is in disbelief, and says that Jackie must not have confessed everything. When Jackie clarifies that he told everything—even about Gran and the bread-knife—and Nora sees him sucking candy that the priest gave him, she is “baffled” and “suspicious.” Finally, she “bitterly” concludes, “Tis no advantage to anybody trying to be good. I might just as well be a sinner like you.”
Rather than teaching goodness, the priest’s actions have taught Nora as well as Jackie that goodness is not important—each of them knows that Jackie is favored over Nora, regardless of their behavior. Neither of them has reason to believe in impartial divine justice or atonement. They have learned the opposite of the lessons Confession is supposed to teach. However, Nora doesn’t know what the reader does—that the priest believes her nature is essentially bad and that she deserves to be stabbed regardless of her efforts to be good. The story shows that she would not have such a warm response from the priest if she were to “be a sinner like” Jackie.
Themes
