Lila (John’s Wife) Character Analysis in Gilead

Lila is John’s second wife and the mother of their son. Addressing his son, John usually refers to her as “your mother”; her name is only revealed when Jack addresses her as Lila late in the novel. Lila is more than 30 years younger than John and is 41 during the time of the novel. It’s hinted that her life before meeting John was one of poverty and hardship, though she never talks about it, and John doesn’t elaborate. John met Lila when she showed up in his church one rainy Sunday when he was 67. Lila didn’t know anything about Christianity, but after attending church for a few weeks, she approached John about getting baptized. Sometime after her baptism, it was Lila’s idea to marry John—she quietly suggested it one day after tending John’s garden, and he agreed. Lila is a devoted wife and mother who worries constantly about their boy’s upbringing. He describes her as having a “settled, habitual sadness,” seriousness, and quiet dignity. She is self-conscious about her unrefined way of speaking and therefore tends to be reserved, though this leads people in the church to regard her as rather distant, and she makes an unconventional minister’s wife. Perhaps because of her background, she is also quietly sympathetic to Jack Boughton’s restlessness and religious doubts.

Lila (John’s Wife) Quotes in Gilead

The Gilead quotes below are all either spoken by Lila (John’s Wife) or refer to Lila (John’s Wife). For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:

You two were too intent on the cat to see the celestial consequences of your worldly endeavors. They were very lovely. Your mother is wearing her blue dress and you are wearing your red shirt and you were kneeling on the ground together with Soapy between and that effulgence of bubbles rising, and so much laughter. Ah, this life, this world.

Related Characters: Rev. John Ames (speaker), John’s Son (The Boy), Lila (John’s Wife)

Page Number and Citation: 9

Explanation and Analysis:

I write in a small hand, too, as you know by now. Say three hundred pages make a volume. Then I’ve written two hundred twenty-five books, which puts me up there with Augustine and Calvin for quantity. That’s amazing. I wrote almost all of it in the deepest hope and conviction. Sifting my thoughts and choosing my words. Trying to say what was true. And I’ll tell you frankly, that was wonderful.

Related Characters: Rev. John Ames (speaker), John’s Son (The Boy), Lila (John’s Wife)

Page Number and Citation: 19

Explanation and Analysis:

I believe there is a dignity in sorrow simply because it is God’s good pleasure that there should be. He is forever raising up those who are brought low. This does not mean that it is ever right to cause suffering or to seek it out when it can be avoided, and serves no good, practical purpose. To value suffering in itself can be dangerous and strange, so I want to be very clear about this. It means simply that God takes the side of sufferers against those who afflict them. (I hope you are familiar with the prophets, particularly Isaiah.)

Related Characters: Rev. John Ames (speaker), John’s Son (The Boy), Lila (John’s Wife)

Page Number and Citation: 137

Explanation and Analysis:

Having looked over these thoughts I set down last night, I realize I have evaded what is for me the central question. That is: How should I deal with these fears I have, that Jack Boughton will do you and your mother harm, just because he can, just for the sly, unanswerable meanness of it? You have already asked after him twice this morning.

Harm to you is not harm to me in the strict sense, and that is a great part of the problem. He could knock me down the stairs and I would have worked out the theology for forgiving him before I reached the bottom. But if he harmed you in the slightest way, I’m afraid theology would fail me. That may be one great part of what I fear, now that I think of it.

Related Characters: Rev. John Ames (speaker), John’s Son (The Boy), Lila (John’s Wife), Jack (John Ames) Boughton

Page Number and Citation: 190

Explanation and Analysis:

I mention this because it seems to me transformations just that abrupt do occur in this life, and they occur unsought and unawaited, and they beggar your hopes and your deserving. This came to my mind as I was reflecting on the day I first saw your mother, that blessed, rainy Pentecost.

That morning something began that felt to me as if my soul were being teased out of my body, and that’s a fact. I have never told you how all that came about, how we came to be married. And I learned a great deal from the experience, believe me. It enlarged my understanding of hope, just to know that such a transformation can occur. And it has greatly sweetened my imagination of death, odd as that may sound.

Related Characters: Rev. John Ames (speaker), John’s Son (The Boy), Lila (John’s Wife), John’s Grandfather

Related Symbols: Water

Page Number and Citation: 203

Explanation and Analysis:

Lila (John’s Wife) Character Timeline in Gilead

The timeline below shows where the character Lila (John’s Wife) appears in Gilead. The colored dots and icons indicate which themes are associated with that appearance.

Memory, Vision, and Conviction Theme Icon

...a good life.” He admires his little son’s look of “furious pride,” so like his wife’s, and thinks that he’ll miss those looks. (full context)

...his life. He only regrets that he has so little to leave behind for his wife and son—just some old books, and no money to speak of. If he’d known he... (full context)

John hears his wife coaxing his son to sleep in the next room. He can’t make out the words... (full context)

Christian Faith, Mystery, and Ministry Theme Icon

...happened too late for John to do anything to provide for his son and his wife. He thinks and prays about this a lot. (full context)

...and half fury” he saw for the first time when he met the boy’s mother (Lila). He first noticed it in his son when the boy was three, trying to fix... (full context)

...fat blue bubble drifting past his window and looks down to see the boy and Lila in the yard, blowing bubbles at the cat, Soapy, who leaps in the air. They... (full context)

Lila has told their son that John is writing his “begats,” which pleased the boy, so... (full context)

John’s wife is proud of his hours spent writing and of his books. She was the one... (full context)

...much-needed rain falling on the roof and windows of the church. Though when his future wife walked in, he worried that the very ordinariness might seem dull to her. (full context)

If Rebecca had lived, she would be 51 now, 10 years older than his wife is now. John used to think about what it would be like if Rebecca suddenly... (full context)

John’s future wife’s seriousness seemed almost like anger. He remembers how closely she watched as he baptized two... (full context)

...watches other children from a distance. He’s like his mother that way. John knows that Lila makes an unlikely minister’s wife and that it’s hard for her. Yet he thinks she... (full context)

John thinks that his wife knows the world more intimately than he does. He wishes he could spare her and... (full context)

...from the bushes. John made the boys grilled cheese sandwiches with cupcakes for dessert. His wife hadn’t slept at all last night, though John slept surprisingly soundly. (full context)

...He supposes it’d be best to burn them, but he knows that would upset his wife. It’s embarrassing to have written so much and now have to find a way to... (full context)

John was just listening to a song on the radio when his wife came in, embraced him, and gently danced with him to the music. She asked him,... (full context)

A few days ago, John saw his wife and son come in with flowers, and he knew at once where they’d been. She... (full context)

...struck by the way the light felt, like a weight resting familiarly on everything. His wife brought the camera out and took pictures of the father and son sipping honeysuckle nectar.... (full context)

John would never have believed he’d get to see his wife doting on his child. If his son ever wonders what he’s done with his life,... (full context)

...people through life’s milestones, yet so much of life seemed closed off to him. His wife says he was like Abraham, but unlike Abraham, John didn’t have an elderly wife or... (full context)

Then, when his wife did arrive, when they still didn’t know each other well, she gave John a serious... (full context)

When John’s son was very little, John was frightened of him. When his wife would place the baby in his arms, he would rock and pray and sing: “Go... (full context)

His wife seems to want John to know that she’s going to raise their boy as a... (full context)

Estrangement and Reconciliation Theme Icon

...in a good mood because he’s heard from Jack. John decides not to tell his wife about the talk with Mr. Schmidt because she worries so much about their boy and... (full context)

...physicality, and his love of life a lot lately. When most people had left, his wife brought the boy to the front and said he ought to have some of the... (full context)

...the church the way he used to do. He did leave a note for his wife. At first, she thought he’d wandered off to die alone. Sometimes he worries about his... (full context)

John’s wife was startled when he suggested that she skip the ironing on a Sunday night, but... (full context)

...childhood, though John doesn’t think Jack really likes him. When Jack introduced himself to John’s wife with his full name, she looked startled, and Jack laughed, remarking that bygones clearly aren’t... (full context)

...been just about a perfect morning until Jack appeared. He notices looks on both his wife’s and son’s faces as they recognize John’s age. The visit with Jack goes fine and... (full context)

...wants is to just listen to his children’s voices, so John goes back home. His wife was worried that he’d gone out without telling her. He figures it wouldn’t be the... (full context)

...that anymore. He started discouraging people once he realized that their well-meant gestures hurt his wife’s feelings. (full context)

John needs to figure out what to tell his wife about Jack. His son keeps looking at Jack like he’s Charles Lindbergh. John wonders if... (full context)

John’s instinct is to warn his son and his wife against Jack Boughton. Though by now, his son must understand that John can’t trust his... (full context)

...there is no point in dwelling on problems that don’t have an earthly solution. His wife has sent the boy off to the neighbors, and he notices that she looks pale.... (full context)

...at church, and John’s son went to sit with him. But John notes that his wife didn’t give Jack a second look. (full context)

...to assume that he was directing his words at him. He also notices that his wife looks anxious, and he wonders what Jack might have told her. (full context)

...get a real plumber. He thinks ruefully about the duties of the clerical life. His wife gets a good laugh out of the story, though, so he figures it’s worth it. (full context)

...man her own age instead. She eventually chooses the older man. He reflects that his wife couldn’t have encouraged him in any better way than by loving this book so that... (full context)

...is “godlike,” he says, to delight in someone else’s being, the way he and his wife delight in their son. In a way, the Fifth Commandment is necessary because parents are... (full context)

John thinks of his wife’s “settled, habitual sadness” and the “sacred mystery” of sorrow that has struck him ever since... (full context)

John admits that his wife never talks about herself or admits to having suffered. He tells his son to be... (full context)

John adds that among the instructions he is leaving behind for his wife, he wants her to know that over the years, he’s donated a substantial portion of... (full context)

...they’re difficult to honor, by keeping in mind their sacredness. In the case of John’s wife, he tells his son that if he keeps this in mind, he will see his... (full context)

...He asks “Moriturus” what he fears most, and he replies that he fears leaving his wife and child “in the sway of a man of extremely questionable character.” (full context)

...was finishing a magazine article and didn’t look up immediately. He was struck that his wife said to his son, “He doesn’t hear you”—not “he didn’t hear you.” (full context)

John’s wife comes up to Boughton’s to tell them supper is ready. John coaxes her to stay... (full context)

...at this point, and Boughton agrees that it probably won’t go anywhere useful, but John’s wife listens quietly. Jack is insistent, so John says he doesn’t believe that a person who’s... (full context)

...and he doesn’t want to impose a theory on something that’s ultimately a mystery. His wife looks at him, and he knows he must sound upset—and he is. Most of the... (full context)

...dismiss himself from the conversation since no one seems interested in pursuing it, but John’s wife speaks up again and urges him to stay. After an awkward silence, John suggests reading... (full context)

...to Jack Boughton, John has trouble believing he’s sincere. But as they’re walking home, his wife says that Jack was just asking a question, and that “some people aren’t so comfortable... (full context)

John found a couple of his sermons sitting on the night table and knows his wife put them there. One, dated June 1947, is about forgiveness. It refers to the story... (full context)

John’s future wife first attended church on Pentecost of that year, which was in May. There were festive... (full context)

...souls in heaven probably enjoy something similar to “perpetual vigorous adulthood.” He wouldn’t mind his wife being reunited with him as a young man, either. He knows the Bible says there... (full context)

...sent a note apologizing for offending John and promising not to trouble him again. His wife looks worried when she brings the note in. John sends back a note saying they... (full context)

...the Beatitudes perfectly, beaming at the accomplishment. His son wears his red shirt, and his wife wears her blue dress. John would give a great deal for a thousand mornings just... (full context)

...again soon. John feels relieved. Admittedly, part of the relief is the hope that his wife will no longer have reason to pity Jack so much. (full context)

...the key question—how should he deal with his fear that Jack will somehow hurt his wife and son out of sheer meanness? Perhaps a big part of his fear is that... (full context)

...and ended up sleeping through supper. He came outside in the evening and found his wife and son wrapped in a quilt on the porch swing. He sat down with them... (full context)

...off, as he often does nowadays, and at some point he heard Jack and his wife talking. His wife asked Jack how long he’ll be staying in Gilead. He said his... (full context)

...she replied, “Well, Jack, bless your heart.” He said, “Why, I thank you for that, Lila,” and left. (full context)

...night, except for the time he spends writing all this out. He’s touched by his wife’s kind words about him. He’s also struck by Jack’s tone of amazement when he learned... (full context)

...also admits that he heard the edge disappear from Jack’s voice while he spoke with Lila. The two sounded like friends. (full context)

...he thinks he’s finding his way out of it. He remembers the kindness in his wife’s voice while she held his hand last night. She sounded as if she thought she’d... (full context)

...of life’s transformations are just this sudden and unexpected. It makes him think of meeting Lila on that rainy Pentecost. He’s never told his son how their marriage came about. It... (full context)

After Lila visited his church for the first time, he spent the next week hoping she’d come... (full context)

...that way, it was a kind of foretaste of death. And it got worse: as Lila continued attending church, John found himself writing his sermons in the hope of pleasing her.... (full context)

One awful Sunday, Lila didn’t appear in church. John spent the next week feeling foolish and resigned. But she... (full context)

The following week John invited Lila to an evening Bible study. To his delight, she showed up on the church steps... (full context)

So, John taught Lila the basic doctrines of the Christian faith and soon baptized her. He felt thankful that... (full context)

...he was really thinking about the loneliness stretching ahead of him. When he looked up, Lila smiled at him, touched his hand, and softly said, “You’ll be just fine.” He found... (full context)

Even now, John can’t believe that Lila’s feelings could have been as passionate as his own. He even hopes that someday, the... (full context)

This day has been strange. Glory invited Lila to the movies, and when she arrived, she dropped off Boughton. Boughton rarely leaves his... (full context)

...relief to no longer be alone with Jack. Jack wanders off soon after. After supper, Lila and Glory take a walk to look for Jack, and though they don’t say so,... (full context)

...to put it that way. He’s never regarded his marriage as scandalous, and he sees Lila as a refined woman in her own way. If anybody ever made remarks about their... (full context)

Afterward, John prays for a long time. When Lila comes looking for him, she seems to think he’s had another heart episode, and he... (full context)

...doesn’t have money to spare. John tried to give away what very little he has—his wife’s and son’s money, at that—and this is how it was received. (full context)

...to do Jack a kindness and only managed to offend him. When he got home, Lila made him lie down. She lowered the shades and stroked John’s hair for a while. (full context)

...coldest night of the world and walked a thousand miles just for a sight of Lila’s face and his son’s face. And even if he didn’t find them, he would find... (full context)

Every night, Lila makes John one of his favorite meals. His son’s face always looks too beautiful for... (full context)

John is going to ask Lila to have the church deacons burn his old sermons. There are enough to make a... (full context)

Gilead

Lila (John’s Wife) Character Analysis

Lila (John’s Wife) Quotes in Gilead

Pages 8-9 Quotes

Pages 17-21 Quotes

Pages 132-139 Quotes

Pages 185-191 Quotes

Pages 200-209 Quotes

Lila (John’s Wife) Character Timeline in Gilead