Gilead
by Marilynne Robinson
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Estrangement and Reconciliation Theme Analysis

Themes and Colors
Life, Death, and Beauty Theme Icon
Christian Faith, Mystery, and Ministry Theme Icon
Memory, Vision, and Conviction Theme Icon
Estrangement and Reconciliation Theme Icon
Loneliness and Love Theme Icon
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Gilead, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Estrangement and Reconciliation Theme Icon
Estrangement and Reconciliation Theme Icon

Gilead is a story of strife between fathers and sons: John’s grandfather and father fought bitterly over war and pacifism, John’s best friend Boughton is estranged from his troubled son Jack, and John himself struggles to love Jack, who’s a kind of honorary son to him. To deal with his regret over the estrangement with John’s grandfather, John’s father goes on a long, difficult pilgrimage through the Kansas countryside in search of John’s grandfather’s grave. Tending the grave and praying there seem to bring John’s father a measure of real peace, but the reconciliation is limited since John’s grandfather is dead.

Meanwhile, Jack Boughton has caused his father, and John, much heartache over the years—especially when, 20 years ago, he had a child with a destitute young woman and abandoned both of them in squalid conditions, leading to the child’s death. The whole situation colors John’s perceptions of Jack’s character, and he’s convinced that Jack can never amount to anything good. But near the end of John’s life, Jack reveals that he’s married to a Black woman in St. Louis, and that they have a son together. For years, he’s struggled to provide for them because of unjust anti-miscegenation laws, but he’s hidden the truth for fear of hurting Boughton. Recognizing that Jack truly is a good man, John blesses him before he leaves Gilead, letting go of the resentment he’s harbored for decades. John also believes that even though Boughton never learns his son’s full story, he would completely forgive him regardless, because real love doesn’t depend on the recipient being deserving. Through several generations of fraught father-son relationships, the novel suggests that even the closest human beings often don’t fully understand one another, and yet when love is unconditional, those barriers can be overcome.

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Estrangement and Reconciliation Quotes in Gilead

Below you will find the important quotes in Gilead related to the theme of Estrangement and Reconciliation.

Pages 5-8 Quotes

Well, see and see but do not perceive, hear and hear but do not understand, as the Lord says. I can’t claim to understand that saying, as many times as I’ve heard it, and even preached on it. It simply states a deeply mysterious fact. You can know a thing to death and be for all purposes completely ignorant of it. A man can know his father, or his son, and there might still be nothing between them but loyalty and love and mutual incomprehension.

Related Characters: Rev. John Ames (speaker), John’s Grandfather, John’s Father
Page Number and Citation: 5
Explanation and Analysis:
John has just been talking about the hard truth that he and his father disappointed each other, even though they meant well by each other. The first sentence is an allusion to a verse in the Book of Isaiah, which Jesus also quotes in the Gospels of Matthew and Mark: “ever hearing, but never understanding […] ever seeing, but never perceiving.” In that context, the verse refers to people’s spiritual blindness despite what’s right in front of them. John paraphrases this verse by saying that you can know something—or, in this case, a person—very deeply and yet not truly understand Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium est. Mollitia eaque ipsa. Perferendis consectetur et. Dicta impedit ut. Ducimus possimus quo. Non inventore in. Eligendi atque placeat. Molestiae earum eum. Libero sit beatae. At a deserunt. Sint aperiam consequatur. Minima porro perferendis. Sit neque odit. Tenetur qui dignissimos. Qui et ut. Voluptate labore corporis. Hic tempore laborum. Nisi quia ea. Quia soluta itaque. Deleniti nisi earum. Ad tenetur laboriosam. Eum accusamus harum. Accusantium iusto voluptas. Totam quae corporis. Impedit non ut. Incidunt rerum est. Aperiam doloremque eum. Animi soluta perspiciatis. Ut minima autem. Modi omnis iure. Sint qui qui. Qui s

Pages 31-37 Quotes

He could make me feel as though he had poked me with a stick, just by looking at me. Not that he meant any harm to speak of. He was just afire with old certainties, and he couldn’t bear all the patience that was required of him by the peace and by the aging of his body and by the forgetfulness that had settled over everything. He thought we should all be living at a dead run.

Related Characters: Rev. John Ames (speaker), John’s Son (The Boy), John’s Grandfather
Related Symbols: Fire and Light
Page Number and Citation: 31-32
Explanation and Analysis:
John is describing his grandfather, a person who’s figured prominently in John’s life and memories even though he died before John was a teenager. His relationship with his grandfather was complicated—his grandfather’s stare felt like being “poked […] with a stick,” hardly a comforting recollection. Yet John believes his penetrating gaze came from his powerful convictions, as his grandfather worked for the abolitionist cause in Kansas before the outbreak of the Civil War. Later in the book, it even becomes clear that he didn’t shrink from violence in support of that cause. After the war, John’s grandfather could never adjust Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium est. Mollitia eaque ipsa. Perferendis consectetur et. Dicta impedit ut. Ducimus possimus quo. Non inventore in. Eligendi atque placeat. Molestiae earum eum. Libero sit beatae. At a deserunt. Sint aperiam consequatur. Minima porro perferendis. Sit neque odit. Tenetur qui dignissimos. Qui et ut. Voluptate labore corporis. Hic tempore laborum. Nisi quia ea. Quia soluta itaque. Deleniti nisi earum. Ad tenetur laboriosam. Eum accusamus harum. Accusantium iusto voluptas. Totam quae corporis. Impedit non ut. Incid

Pages 46-50 Quotes

To be useful was the best thing the old men ever hoped for themselves, and to be aimless was their worst fear. I have a lot of respect for that view. When I spoke to my father about the vision he had described to me, my father just nodded and said, “It was the times.” He himself never claimed any such experience, and he seemed to want to assure me I need not fear that the Lord would come to me with His sorrows. And I took comfort in the assurance. That is a remarkable thing to consider.

Related Characters: Rev. John Ames (speaker), John’s Son (The Boy), John’s Father, John’s Grandfather
Page Number and Citation: 49
Explanation and Analysis:
John has just explained to his son that when John’s grandfather was a teenager, he claimed to have had a vision of a pair of chained arms, which he interpreted as God’s sign that he must go to Kansas to fight for the abolitionist cause. He tries to explain the mindset behind such a view. John suggests that the men of his grandfather’s generation wanted to be “useful” more than anything else, and they feared aimlessness. He implies that such men were in tune with causes much bigger than themselves, and that he sympathizes with that outlook. John’s father seemed Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium est. Mollitia eaque ipsa. Perferendis consectetur et. Dicta impedit ut. Ducimus possimus quo. Non inventore in. Eligendi atque placeat. Molestiae earum eum. Libero sit beatae. At a deserunt. Sint aperiam consequatur. Minima porro perferendis. Sit neque odit. Tenetur qui dignissimos. Qui et ut. Voluptate labore corporis. Hic tempore laborum. Nisi qui

Pages 185-191 Quotes

Having looked over these thoughts I set down last night, I realize I have evaded what is for me the central question. That is: How should I deal with these fears I have, that Jack Boughton will do you and your mother harm, just because he can, just for the sly, unanswerable meanness of it? You have already asked after him twice this morning.

Harm to you is not harm to me in the strict sense, and that is a great part of the problem. He could knock me down the stairs and I would have worked out the theology for forgiving him before I reached the bottom. But if he harmed you in the slightest way, I’m afraid theology would fail me. That may be one great part of what I fear, now that I think of it.

Related Characters: Rev. John Ames (speaker), John’s Son (The Boy), Lila (John’s Wife), Jack (John Ames) Boughton
Page Number and Citation: 190
Explanation and Analysis:
John has been reflecting on the importance of forgiveness in light of human beings’ sacred, irreplaceable existence. But while he believes what he’s been saying, he recognizes that he’s been using those reflections to distance himself from his most painful fear—namely, that Jack Boughton will somehow hurt the people John loves most in the world. After all, Jack has gravely hurt others, both directly (by neglecting and abandoning his lover and child) and indirectly (by bringing grief and shame on his whole family). John has no evidence that Jack intends anything like this toward Lila or John’s son, but given Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium est. Mollitia eaque ipsa. Perferendis consectetur et. Dicta impedit ut. Ducimus possimus quo. Non inventore in. Eligendi atque placeat. M

Pages 191-200 Quotes

I have wandered to the limits of my understanding any number of times, out into that desolation, that Horeb, that Kansas, and I’ve scared myself, too, a good many times, leaving all landmarks behind me, or so it seemed. And it has been among the true pleasures of my life. Night and light, silence and difficulty, it seemed to me always rigorous and good. I believe it was recommended to me by Edward, and also by my reverend grandfather when he made his last flight into the wilderness. I may once have fancied myself such another tough old man, ready to dive into the ground and smolder away the time till Judgment. Well, I am distracted from that project now. My present bewilderments are a new territory that make me doubt I have ever really been lost before.

Related Characters: Rev. John Ames (speaker), John’s Son (The Boy), Edward Ames, John’s Grandfather, Jack (John Ames) Boughton
Page Number and Citation: 191
Explanation and Analysis:
John has been telling his son about his angst over Jack and his fear about Jack’s intentions toward John’s family, especially after John dies. Here, he explains that these fears have taken John into unexplored territory. And that’s really saying something—John has never feared taking on difficult questions before. He compares intellectual exploration to “Horeb,” the mountain in the desert wilderness where God met with Moses and the Israelites. He also compares it to Kansas, the site of his own wilderness wanderings with his father as a child. With these comparisons, John means to say that he’s never been afraid Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium est. Mollitia eaque ipsa. Perferendis consectetur et. Dicta impedit ut. Ducimus possimus quo. Non inventore in. Eligendi atque placeat. Molestiae earum eum. Libero sit beatae. At a deserunt. Sint aperiam consequatur. Minima porro perfe

Pages 217-232 Quotes

“We are married in the eyes of God, as they say. Who does not provide a certificate, but who also does not enforce anti-miscegenation laws. The Deus Absconditus at His most benign. Sorry.” He smiled. “In the eyes of God we have been man and wife for about eight years. We have lived as man and wife a total of seventeen months, two weeks, and a day.”

Related Characters: Jack (John Ames) Boughton (speaker), Rev. John Ames, Della Miles
Page Number and Citation: 219-220
Explanation and Analysis:
Jack Boughton is finally telling John the story of his past, namely his marriage to Della and the fact that he’s had a son with her. Since Jack is white and Della is Black, anti-miscegenation laws—laws prohibiting interracial marriage—are a big part of their story. In Missouri, where Jack and Della have tried to establish a life together, such laws were on the books decades before the Civil War, and they weren’t struck down until 1969, after the 1967 Supreme Court case Loving v. Virginia ruled such laws unconstitutional. So, Jack and Della aren’t legally married—they can’t be. Deus Absconditus Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium est. Mollitia eaque ipsa. Perferendis consectetur et. Dicta impedit ut. Ducimus possimus quo. Non inventore in. Eligendi atque placeat. Molestiae earum eum. Libero sit beatae. A

Pages 237-244 Quotes

And old Boughton, if he could stand up out of his chair, out of his decrepitude and crankiness and sorrow and limitation, would abandon all those handsome children of his, mild and confident as they are, and follow after that one son whom he has never known, whom he has favored as one does a wound, and he would protect him as a father cannot, defend him with a strength he does not have, sustain him with a bounty beyond any resource he could ever dream of having. If Boughton could be himself, he would utterly pardon every transgression, past, present, and to come, whether or not it was a transgression in fact or his to pardon. He would be that extravagant. That is a thing I would love to see.

Related Characters: Rev. John Ames (speaker), Rev. Robert Boughton, Jack (John Ames) Boughton, John’s Son (The Boy)
Page Number and Citation: 238
Explanation and Analysis:
Jack has left Gilead, unable to tell his father about his marriage because he fears it would crush the fragile old man. This means that Jack’s and Boughton’s reconciliation is never complete. Indeed, John implies that Boughton is not himself anymore, having passed the point of being strong enough to bear Jack’s news, so a full reconciliation isn’t possible. Yet John also suggests that if Boughton were his old self, he doesn’t doubt the two would have reconciled. John alludes to the story of the prodigal son here, where the father—who has a perfectly obedient son at home—runs to embrace Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commo

As I have told you, I myself was the good son, so to speak, the one who never left his father’s house—even when his father did, a fact which surely puts my credentials beyond all challenge. I am one of those righteous for whom the rejoicing in heaven will be comparatively restrained. And that’s all right. There is no justice in love, no proportion in it, and there need not be, because in any specific instance it is only a glimpse or parable of an embracing, incomprehensible reality.

Related Characters: Rev. John Ames (speaker), John’s Son (The Boy), John’s Father, Rev. Robert Boughton, Jack (John Ames) Boughton
Page Number and Citation: 238
Explanation and Analysis:
John has been thinking about how freely Boughton would forgive his son Jack if he could. He follows this up by discussing the other son in the prodigal son story—the son who never left home or did anything to incur his father’s displeasure. The Bible story suggests that heaven’s rejoicing is greater for the sinner who repents than for the person who has always behaved himself. John admits that he is like that “good son.” He even ruefully remarks that since his father left Gilead and he didn’t, his good son “credentials” are unchallengeable. But John isn’t self-righteous about his Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessita