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Newton “Newt” Pulsifer
Agnes Nutter is Anathema Device’s ancestor. A 17th-century witch, Agnes is the only person in all of human history who could see the future correctly. Thus, she published her book, The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch, in the mid-1600s, just to receive her free copy from the publishers. In almost all ways, Agnes was ahead of her time: she advocated for jogging and a high-fiber diet, for instance. All of this put her on the radar of the Witchfinders’ Army, so in 1612, Agnes was burned at the stake by Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery Pulsifer. In the moments before her death, she warned everyone in attendance to take note of what happens to people who meddle in things they don’t understand—and as the flames consumed her, the gunpowder and roofing nails hidden in her pockets blew up the village square and everyone in it. Agnes left behind her book of predictions, which her ancestors then dedicated their lives to decoding. This is no easy task: Agnes could, according to Anathema, see things like cars, electricity, and flying saucers. But since she had no idea what she was seeing, her predictions often make little sense. Indeed, many of her prophecies don’t make sense until after something has happened that aligns with something she wrote. After Armageddon fails to happen—something that Agnes seemingly predicted but that none of her descendants could figure out—Anathema is delivered Agnes’s second book of prophecy, which concerns life after Armageddon.
Agnes Nutter Quotes in Good Omens
The Good Omens quotes below are all either spoken by Agnes Nutter or refer to Agnes Nutter. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
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Wednesday Quotes
“I’ll call him Dog,” said his master, positively. “It saves a lot of trouble, a name like that.”
The hell-hound paused. Deep in its diabolical canine brain it knew that something was wrong, but it was nothing if not obedient and its great sudden love of its master overcame all misgivings. Who was to say what size it should be, anyway?
It trotted down the slope to meet its destiny.
Strange, though. It had always wanted to jump up at people but, now, it realized that against all expectation it wanted to wag its tail at the same time.
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Saturday Quotes
“Tye yt well,” she said to the astonished witchfinder. And then, as the villagers sidled toward the pyre, she raised her handsome head in the firelight and said, “Gather ye ryte close, goode people. Come close untyl the fire near scorch ye, for I charge ye that alle must see how thee last true wytch in England dies. For wytch I am, for soe I am judgéd, yette I knoe not what my true Cryme may be. And therefore let myne death be a messuage to the worlde. Gather ye ryte close, I saye, and marke well the fate of alle who meddle with such as theye do notte understande.”
And, apparently, she smiled and looked up at the sky over the village and added, “That goes for you as welle, yowe daft old foole.”
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“You see, it’s not enough to know what the future is. You have to know what it means. Agnes was like someone looking at a huge picture down a tiny little tube. She wrote down what seemed like good advice based on what she understood of the tiny little glimpses.”
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1111. An the Great Hound sharl coom, and the Two Powers sharl watch in Vane, for it Goeth where is its Master, where they Wot Notte, and he sharl name it, True to Ittes Nature, and Hell sharl flee it.
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Agnes Nutter Character Timeline in Good Omens
The timeline below shows where the character Agnes Nutter appears in Good Omens. The colored dots and icons indicate which themes are associated with that appearance.
Eleven Years Ago
...a children’s book, and it has few pictures in it, aside from a woodcut of Agnes Nutter being burned at the stake. But Anathema likes to read about herself, so the...
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...Bible was the publisher’s first great publishing disaster; their third was their decision to publish Agnes Nutter’s book of prophecies in 1655. It should’ve been a success, since everyone wanted prophetic...
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Wednesday
...must be in The Book—but the book is unintelligible unless a person can think like Agnes, who’s a brilliant but crazed witch from the 17th century. Suddenly, with horror, Anathema realizes...
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...realizes that she left it in the back of the men’s car. She’s sure that Agnes Nutter’s descendants are laughing at her. Anathema hopes that the men won’t know what The...
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Thursday
Anathema explains to Adam that the book is called The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. Back when the book was written, “nice” meant “precise.” She thinks of how...
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Friday
People have spent centuries trying to make sense of Agnes Nutter’s prophecies. Anathema has, thus far, done the best, but none of those people were...
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Meanwhile, Aziraphale sits with a stack of notes. He never met Agnes; she was too bright. Usually, Heaven and Hell are able to identify the “prophetic types”...
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Saturday
...potential witches. He might be interested to know that of the 39,000 women stabbed, only one—Agnes Nutter—said anything but “ow.”
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One of the first entries in The Nice and Accurate Prophecies concerns Agnes’s death. She met the mob at the door, walked herself to the bonfire, and told...
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Agnes left behind her book and a box, and instructions for how to deal with each....
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...He looks back at the card she gave him: on one side is one of Agnes’s nearly unintelligible predictions, and on the other side is Anathema’s translation. It predicts Newt’s car...
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Anathema continues that Agnes was pretty good about predicting things relating to her descendants. Agnes thought of The Nice...
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...on the flying saucer. Anathema has also heard about the aliens; she tells Newt that Agnes foretold all of this. She pulls out a card index and pushes a card toward...
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While this is going on, Anathema patiently explains to Newt that Agnes didn’t see the future; she was remembering it, albeit poorly. Newt reminds himself to be...
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...and reaching for each other as red, white, black, and pale approach. Newt jokes about Agnes wanting him and Anathema to get together, but privately, he feels weird. He hates Agnes...
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...suggests that they do it again, but she says they’re only supposed to do it once—Agnes said so. She hands Newt a card. He reads it, blushes, and hands it back;...
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Shadwell is dreaming that he’s watching Agnes walk to the pyre. She says something that Shadwell can’t hear to the crowd and...
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...is stopped everywhere in London, so Crowley takes the opportunity to reread Aziraphale’s notes and Agnes Nutter’s prophecies. He concludes that Armageddon is happening in Tadfield, and there’s nothing he can...
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...smoke as flames engulf it. Crowley fumbles for the Nice and Accurate Prophecies, wondering if Agnes predicted this. She did—she wrote that “the black chariot of the Serpent will flayme, and...
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...fallen on the floor. But Newt insists that any card she picks up will be significant—Agnes will have predicted it, after all. He says that it’s more important to figure out...
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...local lovers hang out. They get out, and she leads him to a fallen ash tree—Agnes was right. They walk past a guard and decide to wait around to see what...
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Meanwhile, Newt stares at the electronics. Anathema suggests they consult Agnes’s prophecies, but Newt bitterly points out that a 17th-century witch won’t be much help. Anathema...
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Sunday (The first day of the rest of their lives.)
...hear more than most people and he hears a laugh—and for an instant, he sees Agnes Nutter in the smoke. She winks at him.
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