I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter

Julia has been grounded for going into Olga’s room—Amá took away her phone and has forbidden her from closing her bedroom door. Julia has protested, saying she needs privacy, but Amá only scoffs at the concept of privacy. Amá has also installed a lock on Olga’s bedroom door—a lock to which Julia, despite looking everywhere, cannot find the key. Julia has taken to daydreaming nonstop about living a life away from her parents in Paris or New York, but is always snapped back to her reality—which feels to her like a “living death.” Julia hates her mother entirely lately, and wonders if something is wrong with her for feeling such intense feelings.

As the school year begins, the only class Julia really enjoys or succeeds in is English, which is taught by the “dorky” but kind Mr. Ingman. Mr. Ingman encourages the students to think about how they express themselves through language—and understand that language can be a tool that can help them empower themselves and get ahead in life.

Lately, Julia never knows whether Amá will, on any given day, be in a good mood or a bad one. One Saturday morning, Amá shouts for Julia to wake up early and help out in the kitchen, where Amá is making tortillas. Julia begrudgingly begins helping, but struggles to form the dough into circles and even burns a couple on the stove. Eventually Amá kicks Julia out of the kitchen, telling her she can’t be a real woman if she can’t make a tortilla.

On the day her grounding is lifted, Julia decides to go downtown to The Continental after school to look for some answers about Olga’s connection to it. Julia dresses flamboyantly and feistily for the day in fishnets and Chuck Taylors. Instead of focusing on the lecture, she drifts off in math class, writing poems in the leather journal Olga gave her the previous Christmas. When her math teacher calls on her to answer a question, Julia admits she hasn’t been paying attention. Her teacher commands her to come up to the board and solve the problem. Feeling trapped and embarrassed, Julia picks up her backpack and leaves class—and then heads off-campus altogether and catches a bus into Chicago.

Julia is hungry and stops at a diner. She only has eight dollars in her pocket, and though she’s ravenous, resigns herself to a coffee and a danish. When the waitress asks Julia why she’s not in school, she vents about math class—and her sister’s death. When it’s time for Julia to pay the check, the waitress tells her it’s already been taken care of by a fellow patron who overheard their conversation.

Julia heads to The Continental, where she shows the front desk associate a picture of Olga and asks whether the staff has ever seen her in the hotel before. The concierge says that hotel staff aren’t allowed to give out any information about guests, and though Julia begs them to tell her, no one will offer her anything. When Julia asks if the hotel is connected to the Skyline—the hotel where Olga’s friend Angie works—the associate reveals that they’re owned by the same parent conglomerate.

Julia leaves the hotel, but before going home, decides to stop at the art museum to see her favorite painting—Judith Slaying Holofernes. This is her fourth time this year visiting the painting, and Julia loves that every time she’s come to see it, she’s noticed something new about it. Julia wishes she could stay in the museum forever, and looks forward to the day when she can run around Paris looking at art and eating cheese until she bursts.

As Julia rides home on the crowded train, she delights in looking at all the different people and train performers. She gives money to a homeless woman, and feels so happy to be out in the real world that she doesn’t even care that she’ll probably be in big trouble with Amá when she gets back home.