I’m Not Scared

Michele wakes up to find Sergio gone from their shared room. The bed is unmade, and his belongings are scattered. The warm morning air is filled with the sound of cicadas. Michele rises and cautiously looks into the kitchen. He sees Michele’s mother, in a rare cheerful mood, ironing clothes and singing along to the radio. Meanwhile, Maria plays on the floor, absorbed in her own little world. Michele quietly shuts the door, not wanting to draw attention to himself.

Michele returns to his room and notices Sergio’s suitcase tucked under the bed. Unable to resist, he opens it. Inside, he finds a mix of items including a folder containing a small collection of photographs. The first photo he sees looks like the description Sergio gave of Francesco. There are also newspaper clippings about Francesco’s death, filled with sensational details. Michele studies them carefully, especially a photograph of Francesco’s wife, a glamorous woman who looks like she could be a television dancer. Amid these items, Michele finds a lined school exercise book. Opening it, he sees the name “Filippo Carducci” scrawled on the first page. He flips through its pages, seeing mundane schoolwork.

Michele reads one of Filippo’s essays, which describes a day Filippo spent with his father, who frequently travels to America for work. Filippo writes about his father’s villa, which has a swimming pool and “little wash-bears.” Michele reads every word carefully, piecing together a picture of Filippo’s life before the adults in Michele’s village kidnapped him. When he’s finished, Michele closes the exercise book and returns it to the folder. At the bottom of the suitcase, he finds a rolled-up towel. When he unwraps it, he discovers a pistol. Scared, Michele quickly places the pistol and everything else back where he found it.

The radio continues to play in the background as Michele emerges from the bedroom, trying to appear casual. Michele’s mother, still singing along, is now dancing lightly as she irons, her mood a stark contrast to how she has been during the rest of the week. She notices Michele and calls him over with a big smile. Teasing him about not wanting to sleep with the old man, she asks for a kiss. Michele, in a playful mood, agrees, but only if she promises to catch him. He takes a running start and leaps into her arms, and she catches him in mid-air, spinning him around. Maria, seeing the fun, throws her dolls aside and demands to join in. Despite Michele’s initial protests, his mother picks up both children, dancing around the room and singing loudly along with the radio. They twirl and laugh until they collapse onto the sofa, breathless.

After a bit more playful teasing, Michele’s mother goes to warm some milk for Michele, mentioning that Michele’s father and Sergio have gone out. She shares that next week, Michele’s father has promised to take the family to the seaside. The news excites Michele and Maria, who jump up and down on the sofa. Their mother, watching them, closes the shutters and mutters, “Let’s hope so, anyway.”

Michele eats his breakfast quickly—two slices of sponge cake dunked in milk—before discreetly wrapping another slice in a napkin and slipping it into his pocket for Filippo. Michele’s mother, meanwhile, cleans up and instructs Michele to deliver a cake to Salvatore’s house, as she often makes extra food to sell to Salvatore’s mother. Michele agrees, gets changed, and then heads to Salvatore’s house.

As Michele makes his way down the street, he notices the village is unusually quiet. Suddenly, he hears noises from a big shed nearby and heads toward it. Felice’s car is tilted with its bonnet (hood) up, and a pair of large black army boots stick out from underneath. Felice, who is always tinkering with his car, calls out to Michele for help. Michele is reluctant; he has to deliver the cake and then wants to rush off to see Filippo. But Felice insists, threatening to kill him if he doesn’t comply.

Michele reluctantly moves to help, placing a jack under the car to lift it. Felice emerges, covered in grease and cursing about Sergio, who is making him drive up the hill, ruining his car’s shock absorbers. Michele listens as Felice vents his frustration, smashing up crates in a fit of rage. When Felice realizes Michele has overheard too much, he threatens him with a knife, warning him to stay silent about everything Felice just said.

Shaken, Michele hurries away and continues to Salvatore’s house, where he is greeted by Salvatore’s mother and her sister, Aunt Lucilla. The two women dote on Michele and offers him sweets as well as some of Salvatore’s old clothes. Michele happily accepts the sweets but tells them he cannot accept the clothes. Michele knows Michele’s mother’s pride will not allow him to accept them. Salvatore’s mother suggest that Michele goes to Salvatore’s room to say hello but tells him he cannot stay for long because Salvatore has piano lessons soon. When Michele enters, Salvatore is initially startled but quickly relaxes when he sees it’s just Michele.

They start talking, and Michele eventually tells Salvatore his secret about Filippo. Salvatore is intrigued but dismissive, saying he doesn’t care much about “loonies in holes.” Michele regrets telling Salvatore his secret and is surprised that Salvatore does not care. However, Michele does get one thing out of visiting Salvatore. He tells Salvatore about the “little wash bears” that Filippo keep mentioning and Salvatore informs him that the animals actually exist. It is a nickname given to a species of fox that likes to wash its food in water before it eats it.

Michele quickly leaves Salvatore’s house and rushes to the hill where Filippo is hidden. For a moment, he lingers outside the house to ensure that no one else is around. Then, he goes inside and calls down to Filippo, who is thrilled to hear Michele’s voice again. Filippo is far more talkative this time compared to the last time Michele saw him. However, much of what he says still does not make much sense. Because he is more talkative, Michele suddenly gets worried and asks Filippo if he has told his captors Michele’s name. However, Filippo responds with what sounds like more nonsense, so Michele decides that he is probably safe.

While in the hole with Filippo, Michele notices that that Filippo’s ankle is no longer chained and decides this might be his chance to show Filippo the outside world. He manages to lift Filippo out of the hole, though it is a struggle because Filippo is quite heavy. Desperate, he searches for something to help and finds a ladder hidden in the ivy. Michele lowers the ladder and helps Filippo out of the hole, leading him into the woods. They sit under a tree, enjoying a brief moment of freedom. However, to Michele’s surprise, Filippo is eager to get back to his hole and is relieved when Michele offers to take him back.

Michele returns Filippo to his hole. Then, as Michele is getting ready to climb back up the ladder, Felice appears with a rifle, dressed in a hood like a soldier. He taunts Michele, mocking him for thinking he could free Filippo. Michele climbs out, terrified. Felice grabs him, throws him against the house, and drags him to his car. Michele sees Salvatore sitting in the car and realizes that it was Salvatore who betrayed him. Salvatore, avoiding Michele’s gaze, is allowed to drive the car under Felice’s supervision because Felice promised him a driving lesson in return for telling on Michele. On the way home, Michele is furious that Salvatore betrayed him for something so trivial.

Back at Acqua Traverse, Michele sees Michele’s father’s truck and Sergio’s car are gone. When Felice forces him out of his car, Michele realizes that he has wet his pants in fear. The neighborhood mothers watch from their windows as Michele stumbles up the steps to his house, Felice following closely behind. Inside, Michele’s mother is peeling potatoes. When she sees Michele and realizes he is hurt, she explodes with rage. She attacks Felice, kicking and hitting him with a frying pan. Felice tries to defend himself, but Michele’s mother is relentless until Felice finally manages to get on top of her. When Michele attempts to help his mother, Felice easily pushes him away, causing Michele to bang his head on something hard, nearly knocking him unconscious.

Soon after, Michele’s father and Sergio arrive, breaking up the fight. Michele’s father pulls Felice off Michele’s mother, and a heated argument ensues. Michele is sent to his parents’ bedroom, where his mother tends to his injuries, comforting him. She feeds him a peach in syrup and lies down beside him, murmuring that when he grows up, he must leave Acqua Traverse and never return. Michele drifts off to sleep.

Later, Michele’s father wakes Michele up and questions him about his interactions with Filippo. In particular, Michele’s father wants to know if Filippo knows Michele’s name. Michele says he does not. In reality, Michele has told Filippo his name multiple times, but he does not think Filippo actually remembers it. Then, Michele’s father makes Michele swear that he will never return to see Filippo. Michele does as he asks. Michele’s father warns him that, if he does not keep his word, Filippo could end up dead.