Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in It Ends with Us, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Cycles of Abuse
Naked Truths
Good and Evil
Chosen Family
Summary
Analysis
Lily sits on the ledge of a twelve-story building’s roof. She doesn’t think about suicide, but she does consider death. Earlier that day she attended her father’s funeral and delivered a memorable eulogy before abruptly flying home. She suspects her mother won’t talk to her for the next year. Unlike eulogies that famous people give for beloved figures, Lily doesn’t believe that many people will remember her speech. Her father was well known in their community, however, as the mayor and an accomplished real estate agent in their town.
That the novel opens with Lily sitting on the edge of a tall building, considering the idea of suicide, gives the novel an immediate sense of poignancy, if not danger. Her decision to find a high rooftop upon landing back in Boston symbolizes her desire for perspective on the day’s events. Lily’s father’s death and her botched eulogy have made her deeply consider her life, her past, and her relationships. Her thoughts on the matter are tinged with resentment; her mother appears easy to upset, and Lily’s seems to feel she is living in the shadow of her father’s reputation.
Themes
Lily feels like an embarrassing misfit compared to her successful father. She imagines that people remember her as a girl with haphazard red hair who once, to her family’s shame, dated a homeless guy. Lily had been eager to leave town after the funeral, hopping on the earliest plane she could find back to her home in Boston. Upon landing, she went to the first tall building she saw, knowing it would offer more quiet, fresh air, and removal than her three-story building, which has no rooftop space and an annoying roommate who sings in the common space. Now, as Lily sits on the roof of the tall building, the beauty of the night sky eclipses Lily’s feelings about her father’s death, her embarrassing eulogy, and her singing roommate.
The disparity between Lily’s success and her father’s success bothers her, and she is aware that her reputation in her hometown does not reflect well upon her—especially because of her romantic history. For these reasons, Lily has a troubled relationship to her past. Because her hometown embodies that past, she leaves town as soon as the funeral is over. Though she flees those bad memories geographically, she finds that emotionally, they have followed her home. She finds this rooftop not only because it is a fitting setting for her thoughtful mood, but also because it is one place she knows she can be alone to think.
Themes
Suddenly, a man (Ryle) arrives on the roof, slamming the door behind him and disturbing Lily’s calm refuge. His presence makes Lily wary of staying, but she doesn’t want to leave yet. The man’s silhouette shows he’s tall and broad-shouldered. Lily can see that he’s having a vulnerable moment as he holds his head in his hands and takes deep, audible breaths. He doesn’t see her, and Lily doesn’t try to catch his attention. His emotions escalate; he kicks viciously at a chair. The chair moves with each blow but is undamaged, making Lily suspect it’s made from marine-grade polymer. Lily envies the outlet he has for his anger. She used to garden when she was stressed, but she doesn’t have the space for in now that she lives in the city.
At first, the arrival of this man seems to be the exact opposite of what Lily needs in the moment, as he has impeded on her solitude, But his agitated state allows Lily to forget her troubled thoughts for a moment. The man clearly has a temper, but Lily admires this instead of fearing him. Though Lily enjoyed gardening as an outlet in her past, her admiration for this stranger’s coping tactic suggests that she wishes she responded differently to stressors as a child. However, the man’s violent outburst, even if only directed at a chair, demonstrates his capacity for losing control over himself and perhaps foreshadows later conflicts in the novel.
Themes
Lily watches the man (Ryle) as his anger ebbs. She observes his large bicep muscles, which bulge against his t-shirt He smokes a joint, only noticing her as he exhales. She can see him studying her from where he stands ten feet away, but she can’t tell what he is thinking. When he asks her name, his voice stirs a feeling in the depths of her stomach. Once she tells him her name, he begs her to get down from the ledge, thinking she was considering hurting herself. She reassures him that she’s safe and comfortable.
As the stranger notices Lily observing him, they have two very different reactions. Lily finds him attractive and appreciates his irreverent behavior. He, on the other hand, sees her seat on the roof ledge and believes she is poised to jump. Lily holds her ground despite the man’s attempts to get her down–she shows herself to be someone who knows her own mind and limits and does not easily bend to the will of others.
Themes
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When Lily refuses to give in to the man’s (Ryle) efforts to coax her off the ledge, he tells her that he’s seen enough death that day and that she’s ruining his high. This compels her to climb down off the edge, and as she does, she sees he’s not only attractive, but older, well-groomed, and obviously wealthy. He is wearing a designer t-shirt and has an expression that makes her think people usually feed his ego. He stands to join her against the ledge and offers her a hit of his marijuana. She declines but takes notice of the way his voice continues to affect her, almost like a drug in its own right.
Though the stranger’s pleas don’t get Lily to move, when he explains that he’s already dealt with too much death today, she agrees to climb down. Lily is strong-willed, but she is also compassionate. It is clear that she and the man have some commonality in the difficult days they have had and their separate decisions to come to the same roof to process. Lily, at least, feels this connection instantaneously. He smokes marijuana despite his age, social status, and appearance; Lily is intrigued by the way this defies her expectations.
Themes
Lily asks the man (Ryle) why he was kicking the chair. He doesn’t answer; instead, he studies her with his intensely dark eyes. She asks if he is upset over a woman. He responds that he wishes his problems were that small. He asks her where she lives in this building. Lily admits she doesn’t live there but rather in a small three-story building near an insurance building visible from their vantage point. He asks if she’s there to see her boyfriend, but she admits that she only came for the quiet of the roof patio, which she found on an internet map.
Lily continues to probe the stranger about his earlier outburst, but her guesses are incorrect—he continues to surprise her. He, and whatever is bothering him, are more complex than she initially thinks. The man similarly underestimates the reason Lily has come to the rooftop, and she charms him, as well. It’s also important to note that the man lives in such an expensive building, which makes his wealth apparent. This, in comparison to Lily’s lower social status, informs their initial dynamic and impressions of the man.
Themes
They agree to sit silently, but the man (Ryle) quickly interrupts to tell Lily that a man fell off the roof recently. She asks if it was intentional, but the man doesn’t know. He explains that the fallen man had come to the roof to take pictures, and he hopes the fallen man at least got the shot he wanted before he died. Lily asks him if he is always so forthright, and he admits that he usually isn’t. That this stranger has confided in Lily makes Lily feel special.
Despite both Lily and the stranger coming to the roof to be alone with their thoughts, they are too drawn to each other to sit quietly together. By sharing the story of the man who fell from the roof, the stranger shows that he is not afraid of discussing difficult topics, and Lily finds this refreshing. He admits that he isn’t often that candid, so the fact that he’s being candid with Lily suggests that he’s as drawn to her as she is to him.
Themes
Lily and the man discuss how neither is a Boston native. He moved for his neurosurgery residency and to be near his sister, who owns the top floor of the building thanks to her husband’s tech money. They continue to talk and exchange names. The man is named Ryle Kincaid, which Lily thinks is a great name. Lily reveals her full name is Lily Blossom Bloom, which bothers her, especially since she wants to open a flower shop but feels her name is too on the nose. She also tells him that she has a master’s in business, so her plan feels like a downgrade. Ryle affirms her dream but understands her frustration over her name, commenting that her parents must be “real assholes.” Lily replies that her father just died.
As Ryle shares more about himself, Lily becomes even more interested. His career shows that on top of his good looks and wealth, he is smart and driven. Lily, in contrast, is conflicted about how to proceed in her career. She hesitates to pursue her dream of opening a flower shop for fear of both failure and that her floral name will make it seem trite. Ryle’s responding boldness in assessing her parents based on Lily’s name opens the door for deeper conversation about Lily’s father and his death.
Themes
Ryle doesn’t believe Lily at first. When he asks if she was close with her father, she responds that their relationship was complex—often, she hated him as a person. Ryle tells her he likes her honesty, and they both express a desire that people were more transparent; more often than not, people pretend to be happier and more settled than they really are. Lily tells Ryle that she understands some people’s desire to put on appearances, as the “naked truth” isn’t often attractive.
In bringing up her father’s death and her complicated relationship with him, Lily is matching Ryle’s candid truth-telling—so much so that he hesitates to believe she is serious. Both are attracted to the truth they are able to share with each other, especially because most people withhold the dark parts of themselves to maintain a desirable, nice image. Lily and Ryle, in contrast, find desire in the naked truths they share with each other.
Themes
Ryle asks Lily to share a naked truth with him—something she’s ashamed of. She studies the contours of his face under the night sky, and she senses he needs to talk with her right now. Lily tells Ryle that her father abused her mother. After each incident, he’d always be extra attentive and loving to her mom to make up for his violence. He would reward Lily with pleasantness and gifts, too. She has always been embarrassed by the way she looked forward to this. She worries that she’s a bad person for it, just like her father. Ryle tells her that there are no evil people, only people who do evil things.
When Ryle asks Lily directly to tell her something that’s not only difficult—but also embarrassing—it challenges their brutally honest dynamic. Lily’s agreement to do so is motivated in part by Ryle’s apparent need to talk, her attraction to him, and her own preoccupation with processing her father’s death. Lily’s truth is significant in two key ways. First, it solidifies that she, like Ryle, values brutal honesty. But the content of Lily’s confession is also significant. Her truth introduces her childhood experience of domestic violence (and so helps explain the unconventional eulogy she delivered at her father’s funeral)—and her ongoing shame at her reaction to it. In turn, Ryle affirms Lily’s bravery by asserting that no one is fully evil, which becomes one of the novel’s central themes.
Themes
Lily asks Ryle to contribute his own truth. Ryle hesitates, but he eventually tells her that he saw a five-year-old boy die at work this evening. The boy’s younger brother had accidentally shot him. Lily is overwhelmed by Ryle’s admission. Ryle explains that he disagreed with his coworkers’ sympathy for the boys’ parents; Ryle thinks they should suffer for leaving a gun accessible. Instead, Ryle feels sympathy for the younger brother whose life will be forever ruined by this mistake. Lily asks if he ever gets used to seeing death every day, and he says that slowly he has.
Ryle’s story about the little boy explains his earlier outburst, though his capacity for violence remains concerning. Ryle’s judgment of the parents and empathy for the brother who accidentally shot the gun is understandable, but it’s also a bit extreme—might Ryle have personal reasons for being so emotionally invested in the incident?
Themes
Ryle asks for another naked truth from Lily. She explains that when her mother asked her to give her father’s eulogy, Lily told her that she would cry too much to speak. Really, Lily didn’t want to write a eulogy because she had no respect for her father. But she gave in to her mother’s urging anyway. Lily tells Ryle that when she gave her speech earlier that day, she stood up in front of the crowd and said she would list five great things about him. Instead, she stood silently until her uncle ushered her off stage. She simply had nothing nice to say about him. In retrospect, she feels bad about her decision, but Ryle is impressed with her boldness.
The unflattering eulogy gives at her father’s funeral expresses the depth of her hatred for him. After witnessing years of his abuse toward her mother, Lily views her father as a fundamentally evil man. Lily’s mother’s insistence that Lily give the eulogy in the first place reflects that she chose to stand by her husband in spite of his violent behavior. Her mother hardly reacts, however, when Lily gives her non-eulogy, which Lily sees as yet another example of her mother’s denial about her abusive marriage. While Lily has complicated feelings about her parents and her own role in their turbulent household, Ryle focuses on how much courage it took for Lily to share her truth at the funeral.
Themes
When Lily begs Ryle to share another truth so that she doesn’t feel like a terrible person, he tells her that he wants to have sex with her. Lily is shocked into silence. Ryle tells her that he thinks she’s beautiful, and if she is interested in a one-night stand, he’d take her downstairs. She tells him she is not into casual sex. Ryle tells her it’s her turn to share a truth then, but Lily is still reeling from his bluntness.
The palpable chemistry between Ryle and Lily escalates when he tells her he wants to have sex with her. While Lily is attracted to Ryle and is interested in his offer, she stands her ground on not being interested in detached sexual relationships.
Themes
Lily regains her composure and tells Ryle that the first person she had sex with was homeless. Ryle immediately wants to know more. Lily explains that his name was Atlas, and he squatted in the abandoned house behind hers in the small Maine town where she grew up. They became friends; only she knew he lived there. Eventually, her father found out and beat Atlas. Lily stops talking, no longer wanting to talk about the subject.
This moment is significant because it introduces Lily’s relationship with Atlas. What happened between Lily and Atlas isn’t yet clear, but the fact that Lily seems unwilling to say much about him suggests that there’s more to the story. This scene also suggests that while Lily values honesty, there are some subjects that remain too painful for her to talk about. In addition, Lily’s father’s attack of Atlas further explains why Lily harbors so much hatred toward her father.
Themes
Ryle shares that he finds marriage revolting. Though he is almost thirty, he has no interest in finding a wife or having children; his only desire it to be the top neurosurgeon in his field. Despite his mother’s desire for him to have a family, he feels his high standards would be unfair to impose on others. Lily thinks it is admirable to admit he’s too selfish to be a father. He explains that he indulges in one-night stands to meet his needs since he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone. This way, love never becomes a burden.
Ryle’s disinterest in marriage seems to be as strong as Lily’s desire for true romantic love. Ryle is more driven by his desire for professional renown and personal perfection. While this doesn’t align with Lily’s goals, she appreciates Ryle’s continued honesty. Because Lily’s childhood was so tumultuous, she understands that becoming a parent isn’t something people should take lightly—and that not everyone should be a parent.
Themes
Lily admits that she’s always on the search for the perfect man, and she’s always disappointed when men don’t meet her standards. Ryle suggests she try his method: casual sex. Lily tells him that she couldn’t have sex with anyone she doesn’t see a future with. The intensity of Ryle’s gaze makes her wish this wasn’t the case. He drags her chair up against his own. He lays his hand on her stomach and asks how physical she’d be willing to get. She says she isn’t sure, enjoying the feeling as he runs his hands up under her shirt. His phone rings suddenly.
Ryle’s attempt to convince Lily to have sex with him despite their opposing relationship plans is ineffective. Like Ryle, Lily is acutely self-aware and unwilling to bend to his will. While the two begin to discuss a compromise, it is fitting that work calls Ryle away—he’s already explained that his career will always come first in his life.
Themes
Ryle is called into the hospital for work. Before he leaves, he takes a picture of Lily with his phone. He tells her he hopes that she’ll pursue her dreams and open a flower shop. She can tell he is disappointed about needing to leave. As he walks away, Lily is surprised at how much she was able to connect to someone so different from her. She finds that she is now sad to be alone on the rooftop when before it was all she wanted.
Despite Ryle’s assertion about his priorities, it is clear that there is a small part of him who may want something more than just sex and success. That part of him snaps the photo of Lily to memorialize their meeting. Lily’s attraction to Ryle (and Ryle’s encouraging her to pursue her business dreams) overshadows her initial preoccupation with her past and with her grief. Instead of the past, she is now looking toward the future. Like the photograph Ryle takes of Lily, the impression he leaves on her will be something she carries with her.
Themes
