Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in It Ends with Us, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Cycles of Abuse
Naked Truths
Good and Evil
Chosen Family
Summary
Analysis
The next morning, Lily wakes to the smell of toast. For a moment, she is confused and thinks Ryle made it for her. Then she remembers what happened. She gets out of bed, and she sees that the chair in her room is facing the bed and contains a blanket. She realizes Atlas must have slept in the chair so he could watch over her. In the kitchen, she finds him making her a large breakfast. The food is delicious. Lily asks Atlas where he learned to cook, and he tells her he learned some in the Marines and some when he was a kid and forced to fend for himself. Atlas asks if she remembers the cookies he made her. Lily admits they are the best cookies she ever had.
Lily is used to Ryle being her source of comfort and distraction. Though she is thankful the Atlas has stepped in to provide the support she needs, he does not make the loss of her trust in Ryle any less devastating. The circumstances that brought Lily to Atlas’s house aside, one bright part of Lily’s time there is becoming better reacquainted with her old friend and hearing more of what happened to him after they parted ways.
Themes
As they talk about Atlas’s time in the military, Lily remembers the way Ryle made her read the article about the restaurant aloud the night before. Atlas notices her withdrawing emotionally. He tells her he needs to go into work for just a few hours, then he makes her promise not to go home. Lily agrees to stay, and Atlas says he will bring her lunch when he returns. He writes a note that contains his phone number, work address, alarm code, and a reminder that she needs to keep swimming, too.
The fact that Atlas was a motivating factor in Ryle’s abusive episode, however, complicates things for Lily; being with Atlas now, on some level, triggers memories for Lily. Because Atlas is perceptive—or at least well-attuned to Lily’s mannerisms—he understands that she needs space. He wants to stay with her, but instead, he gives her what she needs.
Themes
To process the events of last night, Lily decides to write a letter to Ellen for the first time in years. At first, she apologizes to Ellen for not writing back after Atlas left. Lily tells her all about her life. She writes about her father’s death, her business, and her life in Boston. She explains that she married someone other than Atlas. Lily describes her and Ryle’s tradition of sharing naked truths, then Lily tells Ellen her current truth; she admits that she loves a man who abuses her.
In losing Ryle, Lily has lost her main confidant. The nature of Ryle’s rampage complicates Lily’s ability to confide in Atlas, as well. Lily is also hesitant to involve Ryle’s sister because she’s just had a baby, and she doesn’t want to call her mother because of her mother’s own trauma. Effectively, Ryle’s actions have isolated Lily entirely, so Lily turns to the person she confided in when she felt isolated as a teenager: Ellen. Because Ellen is, in many ways, a projection of Lily’s own conscious, when Lily shares her naked truth with Ellen, in a way, she’s finally being honest with herself about her marriage.
Themes
After what happened between her mother and father, Lily tells Ellen that she never thought she’d end up in the same place. Now, she has more empathy for her mother. Lily acknowledges that the situation is more complex than she could have imagined. More than anger at Ryle, Lily feels grief over losing the person she thought he would be. Unlike grief over a true death, Lily’s grief is cut through with hatred. Lily expresses her frustration at her need to try to explain Ryle’s actions away and to place some blame on herself. She wonders if they can make things work if only they can stop keeping secrets. She knows that her mother probably said the same things to herself about Lily’s father.
Lily astutely reflects that grief from losing a relationship is rarely rooted in the loss of one’s partner alone. It also spoils memories of the past, disrupts the present, and obliterates the future one planned to have. Her drive to justify Ryle’s behavior is not due solely to a lack of self-awareness; instead, she knows that permanently leaving him will create more trauma in her life. Though Lily is still unsure how to proceed, she knows one thing for certain: she can relate to her mother in a way she never could have before.
Themes
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Unlike her mother, Lily tells Ellen that she knows she has options. She has her own money, access to resources, and a support system. Lily’s child hasn’t grown used to having a father, so leaving won’t feel like a loss to them like it would have to Lily. The pregnancy still eats at Lily. It is hard for her to accept that she made a child with a man who has hurt her. She worries that she’ll be harming her future child whether she decides to leave Ryle or make it work with him.
Lily also acknowledges that, as terrible as her situation is, she has many privileges that other survivors—including her mother—do not. Even with those resources, her pregnancy puts her in an impossible situation. She is now responsible not only for her wellbeing, but also her baby’s wellbeing. Any decision she makes on their behalf will impact the rest of their life, just as her mother’s choices have impacted Lily.
Themes
Lily admits to Ellen that she used to judge other women in abusive relationships. She thought they stayed out of stupidity or weakness, but now that she’s one of them, she realizes that many women stay because they still love their abusers. Lily writes that she still loves Ryle. It’s so much harder than she thought to fight her urge to forgive someone she loves so much. She considers the wedding vows she made to Ryle: for better or worse. Lily wonders if she should honor them after everything that has happened. She decides she’s no longer beholden to them.
Lily’s personal experience with abuse has given her a new sense of empathy for other survivors who choose to stay. One factor that convinces her to stay is her love for Ryle. Though that love is laced with pain, Lily finally has the true love she always wanted; she can hardly bear the idea of giving it up. Love, it seems, is not unlike sex or truth; the power it possesses to build people up can just as easily tear them back down.
Themes
