It Ends with Us: Chapter 4 Summary & Analysis

Lily tries to get Lucy to help her upstairs when she arrives home, but Lucy doesn’t answer her phone. When Lily gets to their apartment, she finds Lucy on the phone with her boyfriend, Alex. Annoyed, she retreats to her room for privacy. As she settles in, Lily is surprised at how glad she is that her mother is nearby to help her. She realizes how angry she has always been at her mom for putting up with her father’s abuse. Those feelings have slowly evaporated toward her mother, but her hate for her father is still strong. Lily thinks of all the people he hurt, which reminds her of Atlas. She goes to the closet to grab her journals.

In the first entry, Lily told Ellen that she had gotten Atlas hooked on watching Ellen’s show, too: the day after Lily had let him shower at her place, he joined her on the bus again. He gave her a present in thanks—garden tools he found in the garage of the vacant house—and she was thrilled. She asked him if he could hold onto them until after school, and he nodded in response. Atlas asked Lily how old she was, and Lily noticed he was disappointed by her answer: fifteen.

Atlas had changed the subject, offering to help her in the garden whenever she needed. Lily asked him if he wanted to watch Ellen’s show after school with her instead, and he agreed to join her. When they got to her house, she told him he’d have to sneak out the back door if her parents get home earlier than expected. They watched TV and ate a snack Lily made, and Lily appreciated that he laughed at all the right parts of the show.

In another entry, Lily writes that she and Atlas came to regularly watch Ellen’s show together. Lily felt that Atlas liked Ellen as much as she did, but she was still too embarrassed to tell him that she wrote to Ellen every day. Lily told Ellen in her letter that she continued to help Atlas with food and showers. He constantly apologized, feeling burdensome, but Lily admitted that she liked getting to spend her time with him. Lily also divulged that her father had come home drunk and late that evening, and she worried that he might get violent again. She expressed her anger at her mother for staying with him; she couldn’t understand why her mother didn’t leave. Lily closed the letter by saying that she could hear her father yelling, so she went downstairs hoping her presence would prevent him from getting physical.

The final entry Lily rereads is from the same night and describes what happened after Lily went downstairs. Her father had already been hitting her mother when Lily got there, and he only stopped once Lily entered the room. When Lily tried to help her mother, Lily’s mother rejected Lily and told her it was not a big deal. Upset, Lily ran to Atlas’s house. Seeing that she had been crying, Atlas held her until she calmed down. She was surprised at how much better she felt without him even talking. When Lily saw the light in her room turn on, she knew her mom was looking for her. She walked home, realizing that Atlas could see straight into her bedroom all this time. She wondered, kind of hopefully, if he had seen her undressed.

In the present, adult Lily finishes reading her diary and feels her pain medication taking effect. She notices that reading about her parents stokes her anger, while reading about Atlas only makes her sad. Instead, she tries to think about Ryle, only to discover that this doesn’t make her feel much better. Finally, Lily thinks about Allysa, feeling thankful for her serendipitous help. She is happy that she has a new friend, knowing that she’ll need the support as she tries to turn her dream business into a real one.