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Allysa
Mr. Bloom is Lily’s father. The novel begins on the day of his funeral, at which Lily gave a eulogy effectively claiming that there was nothing good to remember about him—he abused Lily’s mother (and to a lesser degree, Lily) for years, and Lily still feels angry at him because of it. Throughout high school, college, and now, her post-graduate life in Boston, Lily has remained vigilant against men like her father, refusing to continue the cycle of abuse. Initially, Lily doesn’t see any resemblances between her father in Ryle, a neurosurgeon she meets after the funeral. Before they begin dating, Lily confides in Ryle about her father’s abuse, and Ryle’s sympathetic response reassures Lily that he is nothing like her father. As the novel unfolds and Lily re-reads many of her high school diaries, she relives the trauma her father inflicted on her and her mother, and she eventually understands that her father’s insecurity, jealousy, and selfishness fueled his abusive behavior. As Lily revisits these memories, Lily’s relationship with Ryle proves to have more in common with her parent’s relationship than she initially thought. Lily’s personal experiences with domestic violence give her a new perspective on her parents’ relationship, which she ultimately realizes was far more complicated than she believed it to be.
Lily’s father Quotes in It Ends with Us
The It Ends with Us quotes below are all either spoken by Lily’s father or refer to Lily’s father. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
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Chapter 1 Quotes
“My father was abusive. […] Sometimes he would buy me stuff because he knew I hated it when they fought. When I was a kid, I found myself looking forward to the nights they would fight. Because I knew if he hit her, the two weeks that followed would be great. […] When I got older I realized that not doing something about it made me just as guilty. I spent most of my life hating him for being such a bad person, but I’m not so sure I’m much better. Maybe we’re both bad people.”
Ryle looks over at me with a thoughtful expression. “Lily,” he says pointedly. “There is no such thing as bad people. We’re all just people who do bad things.”
I open my mouth to respond, but his words strike me silent.
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Chapter 2 Quotes
I open the shoebox on my lap and pull out the contents. On the very top is a small wooden, hollow heart. I run my fingers over it and remember the night I was given this heart. As soon as the memory begins to sink in, I set it aside. Nostalgia is a funny thing.
I move a few old letters and newspaper clippings aside. Beneath all of it, I find what I was hoping was inside these boxes. And also sort of hoping wasn’t.
My Ellen Diaries.
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Chapter 11 Quotes
“Mom, he was trying to rape you!”
[…] “It’s not like that, Lily. We’re married, and sometimes marriage is just…you’re too young to understand it.”
It got really quiet for a minute, and I said. “I hope to hell I never do.”
[…] When she finished crying, I looked around the room and Atlas had left [...] She never did say anything about him being there. Not one thing. I waited for her to tell me I was grounded, but she never did. I realized that maybe she didn’t acknowledge it because that’s what she does. Things that hurt her just get swept under the rug, never to be brought up again.”
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Chapter 14 Quotes
I start shaking my head, wanting the last fifteen seconds to go away. Fifteen seconds. That’s all it takes to completely change everything about a person.
Fifteen seconds that we’ll never get back.
He pulls me against him and starts kissing the top of my head. “I’m so sorry. I just…I burned my hand. I panicked. You were laughing and…I’m so sorry, it all happened so fast. I didn’t mean to push you, Lily, I’m sorry.”
I don’t hear Ryle’s voice this time. All I hear is my father’s voice […]
I just want him away from me. I use every ounce of strength I have in both my hands and legs and I force him the fuck away from me.
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He’s not like my father. He can’t be. He’s nothing like that uncaring bastard.
We’re both upset and kissing and confused and sad. I’ve never felt anything like this moment—so ugly and painful. But somehow the only thing that eases the hurt just caused by this man is this man […]
I’m hurting so much on the inside, yet my body craves his apology in the form of his mouth and hands on me. I want to lash out at him and react like I wish my mother would have reacted when my father hurt her, but deep down I want to believe that it really was an accident.
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Chapter 21 Quotes
It’s been almost a mother since the incident on the stairs. Even with everything Ryle told me about his childhood, the forgiveness was still hard to come by.
I know Ryle has a temper. I saw it the first night we met, before we ever even spoke a word to each other. I saw it that awful night in my kitchen. I saw it when he found the phone number in my phone case.
Bur I also see the difference between Ryle and my father.
Ryle is compassionate. He does things my father never would have done. He donates to charity, he cares about other people, he puts me before everything […]
I am a strong woman. I’ve been around abusive situations my whole life. I will never become my mother, I believe that a hundred percent. And Ryle will never become my father.
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Chapter 23 Quotes
I wipe the tears from my eyes and then begin dialing Atlas’s number.
I hate myself more in this moment that I ever have in my entire life.
I hate myself, because the day Ryle found Atlas’s number in my phone, I lied and said I had forgotten it was there.
I hate myself, because the day Atlas placed his number in my phone, I opened it and looked at it.
I hate myself, because deep down inside, I knew there was a chance that I might one day need it. So I memorized.
“Hello?...Lily?”
[…] I hate myself, because he knows the tears are mine.
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Chapter 25 Quotes
I don’t even know where to start. I know you don’t know anything about my current life or my husband, Ryle. But there’s this thing we do where one of us says “naked truth,” and then we’re forced to be brutally honest and say what we’re really thinking.
So…naked truth.
Brace yourself.
I am in love with a man who physically hurts me. Of all people, I have no idea how I let myself get to this point.
There were many times growing up I wondered what was going through my mother’s head in the days after my father had hurt her […]
I hate that I can empathize with her now.
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People on the outside of situations like these often wonder why the woman goes back to the abuser. I read somewhere once that 85 percent of women return to abusive situations. That was before I realized I was in one, and when I heard that statistic, I thought it was because the women were stupid.
[…] I love my husband, Ellen […] Preventing your heart from forgiving someone you love is actually a hell of a lot harder than simply forgiving them [...]
The things I’ve thought about women like me are now what others would think of me if they knew my current situation […]
I’m sad that those are the first thoughts that run through our minds when someone is abused. Shouldn’t there be more distaste in our mouths for abusers than for those who continue to love their abusers?
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Lily’s father Character Timeline in It Ends with Us
The timeline below shows where the character Lily’s father appears in It Ends with Us. The colored dots and icons indicate which themes are associated with that appearance.
Chapter 1
...doesn’t think about suicide, but she does consider death. Earlier that day she attended her father’s funeral and delivered a memorable eulogy before abruptly flying home. She suspects her mother won’t...
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Lily feels like an embarrassing misfit compared to her successful father. She imagines that people remember her as a girl with haphazard red hair who once,...
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...over her name, commenting that her parents must be “real assholes.” Lily replies that her father just died.
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Ryle doesn’t believe Lily at first. When he asks if she was close with her father, she responds that their relationship was complex—often, she hated him as a person. Ryle tells...
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...she senses he needs to talk with her right now. Lily tells Ryle that her father abused her mother. After each incident, he’d always be extra attentive and loving to her...
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...naked truth from Lily. She explains that when her mother asked her to give her father’s eulogy, Lily told her that she would cry too much to speak. Really, Lily didn’t...
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...where she grew up. They became friends; only she knew he lived there. Eventually, her father found out and beat Atlas. Lily stops talking, no longer wanting to talk about the...
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Chapter 2
...is lucky to have bereavement time off, but Lily sarcastically reminds her it’s because her father is dead. The women have very little in common aside from age and similar names....
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...to go along with it. Lily’s mom has to go attend to details of her father’s estate, so they say goodbye.
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...made her feel better to be writing to someone instead of to herself. Since her father’s death, Lily finds herself immersed in memories from her childhood. In reading her journals now,...
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...embarrassed, though he followed her inside anyway. As he showered, she grabbed some of her father’s clothes and extra food for him to take home. When Atlas emerged, Lily was shocked...
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...she’ll need to constantly keep her company. Lily remembers how relieved the news of her father’s cancer made her feel; she knew he couldn’t hurt her mother anymore. With his death,...
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Chapter 3
...her mother the storefront she bought for her flower shop using her inheritance from her father. Her mother is not as enthusiastic as Lily hoped she’d be. Lily asks if her...
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Chapter 4
...realizes how angry she has always been at her mom for putting up with her father’s abuse. Those feelings have slowly evaporated toward her mother, but her hate for her father...
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...that she liked getting to spend her time with him. Lily also divulged that her father had come home drunk and late that evening, and she worried that he might get...
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...rereads is from the same night and describes what happened after Lily went downstairs. Her father had already been hitting her mother when Lily got there, and he only stopped once...
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Chapter 8
...a friend like him. Her parents didn’t let her have people over in case her father lost his temper, and she had never slept over at a friend’s house either. Though...
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...an altercation that happened between her parents earlier that day. Her mother parked in her father’s garage spot to unload groceries while it was snowing. When he came home to find...
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...he was. She had forgotten to take him blankets the night before, distracted by her father. Lily tried to warm Atlas’s hands up on the bus, growing more upset that her...
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...realities of homelessness. She also became enraged at the selfishness of rich people like her father. He refused to help others because he believed it was their fault for being poor.
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Chapter 11
...off when they returned home, so Atlas used the gas stove to make cookies. Lily’s father came home early before they were finished. Lily pretended she had made them when her...
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Lily’s next letter to Ellen isn’t about Boston; instead, she recounts her father’s most recent abuse of her mother. Lily explained that her father usually hit her mother...
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...she went into the kitchen to get a knife. Before Lily could get to her father, Atlas grabbed her and took her back upstairs. She lashed out at him in anger,...
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Chapter 13
...about his parents. He tells her his mother is fierce and religious yet loving. His father is also a doctor—a psychiatrist. Ryle tells Lily he may need to come with him...
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Chapter 14
...world. While Ryle tries to explain his outburst, Lily just hears the same excuses her father gave.
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...hands, which she feels is significant. She doesn’t want to believe he is like her father, but she is extremely overwhelmed by everything that has happened. He kisses her as he...
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Ryle promises that he is nothing like Lily’s father. Lily responds that she knows, but she doesn’t even want to have to compare them...
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Chapter 17
Lily’s father ruined her birthday when he barged into her room after hearing her talking to someone....
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Chapter 20
...afraid of repeating her mother’s choices, but she tells herself that Ryle isn’t like her father in most ways. She no longer wants to compare them, especially since Ryle is trying...
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Chapter 21
...Alone in her office, Lily considers all the differences she sees between Ryle and her father. Sometimes she has to reassure herself that she made the right decision in forgiving Ryle,...
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Chapter 24
...didn’t leave Ryle earlier, the same way Lily wondered why her mother stayed with her father. Lily wishes that people blamed the correct people: abusive men. When they arrive, Lily is...
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Chapter 25
...back after Atlas left. Lily tells her all about her life. She writes about her father’s death, her business, and her life in Boston. She explains that she married someone other...
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After what happened between her mother and father, Lily tells Ellen that she never thought she’d end up in the same place. Now,...
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Chapter 30
...the door. Before he leaves, Lily tells him that she wishes he wasn’t the baby’s father. His expression as he walks away makes Lily feel as cruel as her father had...
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Chapter 32
...to congratulate her, but she is worried her mother is seeing another man like her father. Her mom promises that he is a good person, and Lily believes her. She tells...
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...she thought she would never let anyone hurt her. Yet over the years, as Lily’s father’s abuse escalated, she pushed further and further beyond what she thought she’d never allow. Before...
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...strength. In response, Lily’s mother asks if Lily remembers the eulogy she gave for her father. Lily nods. Her mom tells her that she always knew the pause at the end...
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Chapter 35
...most amazing things about Ryle: his drive, intelligence, humor, and compassion. She knows that her father shared some of those traits, too. But her hatred for her father always outweighed her...
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