Life as We Knew It
by Susan Pfeffer

Life as We Knew It: Chapter 19 Summary & Analysis

Summary
Analysis
January 10. Laura wakes up ill and soon Jonny is screaming in delirium too. Matt says he’ll go get help, but then realizes he can barely stand. Miranda vows to go get Peter, and she skis to the hospital. But once she gets there, she learns that it’s deserted. The only people left are two nurses who are too scared to go home and learn what has happened to their own families. Every one else—including Peter—has died from the flu.
Their fears about illness manifest in a way that places all the responsibility on Miranda. Knowing that she failed to get help during her last trip to the hospital, she nevertheless tries again—only to learn that there’s no one left to help them. The death of Peter, who’d felt like a safety net for all things medical, is an especially hard blow.
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The nurses tell Miranda that there’s nothing that they or she can do to help. She can try to keep her sick family members hydrated and pray—but it’s really up to chance whether they live or die. Miranda rejects this and skis home in tears, telling Matt “We’re on our own,” before he collapses. She records her thoughts in case she falls ill and dies, and ends the entry by praying not to be the last one left alive.
Miranda can’t accept the nurses’ advice—because if so, there’s nothing she can do to save her family, and knowing she’s helpless adds to her panic. Miranda oscillates between terror that she’ll fall ill too and dread that she’ll be the only one to survive.
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Quotes
January 11-12. Miranda nurses her mother and brothers with very little change. Matt seems the least sick and she’s hopeful he’ll survive, but Laura and Jonny are too weak to even swallow without assistance. Miranda is exhausted from caring for them, but doesn’t feel ill. There are snow- and ice-storms outside.
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January 13-14. Miranda wakes up and realizes the sunroom is full of smoke and everyone is choking. With Matt’s help she drags Laura and Jonny into the kitchen, then ventures down in the basement to turn off the furnace. She realizes that ice or snow must’ve fallen down the woodstove’s chimney and that she needs to dry out the stove. She does this by staying up all night and burning textbooks, though she doesn’t think Matt has the strength to help her move Laura and Jonny back out into the sunroom.
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January 15-16. Laura’s fever breaks and by the end of the day she’s coherent enough to order Miranda to eat, something Miranda has been too distracted to do for days. Laura wants Peter to come look at Jonny, but Miranda doesn’t have the heart to tell her Peter has died, so she says it’s too late to travel to the hospital. The following day Jonny has started to recover.
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January 17-26. Miranda continues to struggle with everyone’s chores. At times she resents this. Laura and Jonny are starting to be strong enough to take a few steps, but Miranda worries that Matt damaged his heart when he helped her drag them from the smoky sunroom. Miranda feeds them three meals a day to help them recover, but knows this is a risky use of their dwindling supplies. When Miranda finally agrees to let them help her, she sleeps for two days straight, then wakes to clear the snow off the sunroom’s roof, marveling that her whole family survived the flu.
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January 27. Laura tells Miranda how proud she is of the way Miranda took care of them all while they were sick. Laura asks if she remembers seeing Peter, or if she was delusional, and Miranda reveals that Peter has died. She tries to offer comfort by saying he died heroically, to which Laura responds, “I wish we didn’t need so damn many heroes.”
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January 30-February 4. While they’re recovering, Laura has the siblings resume schoolwork. Matt remains too weak to even climb a flight of stairs. This upsets him and he worries that he won’t ever be strong again, and that he’ll be a burden. Miranda reminds him that he hurt himself saving Laura and Jonny, and that he’s her hero regardless of his strength.
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February 7. Laura’s birthday is celebrated by small tokens of love, like Jonny letting her beat him at chess and Matt walking to and from the stairs. She declares it her best birthday yet.
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