Looking for Alibrandi

The following Friday, Josie goes to Sister Louise’s office with Poison Ivy for their weekly update. Sister Louise is the most “liberated” woman Josie knows, even if she is a nun. Josie admires her. When the meeting is over, Sister Louise dismisses Poison Ivy and says, “Josie, Josie, Josie.” Josie wonders what she did and apologizes for riding Jacob’s motorcycle. Sister Louise says that she used to have one. Then, she asks how Josie is coping with Michael’s reappearance. Josie is ashamed for thinking Sister Louise was going to scold her. Josie says things are fine and says her job at McDonald’s is also fine. Sister Louise then says that Josie should “behave in a Christian way” if she goes out with Jacob. Josie grits her teeth; Sister Louise might care, but nuns are all “tyrants.”

At home that afternoon, Josie makes meatloaf with Nonna’s coaching. Mama appears in the doorway and asks Nonna to look after Josie tonight—she’s going out. Nonna, confused, asks where Mama is going. Mama finally says she’s going out with a man from work. Nonna accuses Mama of neglecting Josie. Mama is enraged, but Nonna whines that people will talk and she’ll suffer for it. Nonna says the rumors will affect Josie too and then says she knows Michael is Josie’s father. She asks why Mamma “disgraced” her with him and says he’ll never be welcome in her house again. Mama accuses Nonna of being jealous since she didn’t get out after Nonno died for fear of gossip. With a strange look on her face, Nonna says she does understand. She leaves.

Mama turns to Josie and says she’s going out with Paul Presilio. Josie hisses that she hates him. She’s starting to get scared. Mama has gone out with Paul before, and he seems to want to get married—which Josie can’t stand. Josie, suddenly angry, asks Mama if this is a work function, and then accuses her of dating Paul just because Michael is around. Their argument escalates. Mama reminds Josie she’s human too, and Josie shouts that Mama must regret her. Josie throws her meatloaf down the sink and plugs her ears; she doesn’t want to listen to Mama anymore.

Josie screams that she hopes she dies in the night so Mama will regret going out. Mama says she’s not sure what she did to deserve Josie, and Josie starts to mention that Mama had a baby out of wedlock. But Mama tells her not to speak and leaves Josie home alone. Josie hates Mama for leaving her alone. She wants to keep Mama all to herself. When Mama comes home after midnight, she opens the door to Josie’s room. She can tell Josie is only pretending to sleep, so she says that she had a great time. Paul is attracted to her for who she is—and Josie can’t take that from her. When Mama’s gone, Josie sobs. She doesn’t want to hurt Mama, but she doesn’t want Mama to need a man to make her feel valued.