Marriage is a Private Affair

by

Chinua Achebe

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Nnaemeka Character Analysis

Nnaemeka, the protagonist of the story and a young Ibo man, is Nene’s fiancé and Okeke’s son. He is extremely cautious and cares greatly about his father’s opinion of him. For that reason, he postpones telling Okeke about his engagement, afraid that his father will react negatively because Nene is not an Ibo. This causes tension to rise between him and Nene until he finally agrees to leave Lagos and travel to his rural village to talk to his father about his decision to marry Nene. Despite his father’s vehement disproval and subsequent estrangement from him, Nnaemeka remains optimistic that his father will eventually accept Nene and his decision to marry her. What Nnaemeka doesn’t fully internalize, though, is that he is the very first person in the community to go against the grain of tradition by choosing his own spouse and choosing to marry someone who is not an Ibo, which makes his decision all the more shocking and offensive to Okeke and the rest of the village. However, spurred by the eventual acceptance Nene finds among her Ibo peers in Lagos, Nnaemeka continues to send letters and pictures to his father about him and Nene’s marital life in Lagos. While Nnaemeka does not regret his decision to marry Nene, regardless of his father’s reaction, he never stops hoping Okeke will accept their marriage and play a role in their growing family. Thus, Nnaemeka is a man that is torn between his deep love for his father and his desire to be a good son and his urban lifestyle that wholeheartedly embraces multiculturalism.

Nnaemeka Quotes in Marriage is a Private Affair

The Marriage is a Private Affair quotes below are all either spoken by Nnaemeka or refer to Nnaemeka. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
Urban vs. Rural Spaces Theme Icon
).
Marriage Is A Private Affair Quotes

“You have lived in Lagos all your life, and you know very little about people in remote parts of the country.”

Related Characters: Nnaemeka (speaker), Nene Atang
Related Symbols: Lagos
Page Number: 22
Explanation and Analysis:

At last she said, “You don’t really mean that he will object to your marrying me simply on that account? I had always thought you Ibos were kindly disposed to other people.”

Related Characters: Nene Atang (speaker), Nnaemeka, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 23
Explanation and Analysis:

“I have found a girl who will suit you admirably—Ugoye Nweke, the eldest daughter of our neighbor, Jacob Nweke. She has a proper Christian upbringing […] Her Sunday school teacher has told me that she reads her Bible very fluently. I hope we shall begin negotiations when you come home in December.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Ugoye Nweke
Page Number: 24
Explanation and Analysis:

“Father,” began Nnaemeka suddenly, “I have come to ask forgiveness.”

Related Characters: Nnaemeka (speaker), Nene Atang, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 24
Explanation and Analysis:

“I owe it to you, my son, as a duty to show you what is right and what is wrong. Whoever put this idea into your head might as well have cut your throat. It is Satan’s work.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“I shall never see her,” was the reply. From that night the father scarcely spoke to his son. He did not, however, cease hoping that he would realize how serious was the danger he was heading for. Day and night, he put him in his prayers.

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Nene Atang
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“It has never been heard,” was the verdict of an old man speaking a few weeks later. In that short sentence he spoke for all of his people. This man had come with others to commiserate with Okeke when news went round about his son’s behavior.

Related Characters: Nnaemeka, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“What did Our Lord say?” asked another gentleman. “Sons shall rise against their Fathers; it is there in the Holy Book.”

“It is the beginning of the end,” said another.

Related Characters: Nnaemeka, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“If my son wants to kill himself let him do it with his own hands. It is not for me to help him.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Madubogwu
Related Symbols: The Native Doctor
Page Number: 27
Explanation and Analysis:

“It amazes me that you could be so unfeeling as to send me your wedding picture. I would have sent it back. But on further thought I decided just to cut off your wife and send it back to you because I have nothing to do with her. How I wish that I had nothing to do with you either.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Nene Atang
Related Symbols: Lagos
Page Number: 27
Explanation and Analysis:
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Nnaemeka Quotes in Marriage is a Private Affair

The Marriage is a Private Affair quotes below are all either spoken by Nnaemeka or refer to Nnaemeka. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
Urban vs. Rural Spaces Theme Icon
).
Marriage Is A Private Affair Quotes

“You have lived in Lagos all your life, and you know very little about people in remote parts of the country.”

Related Characters: Nnaemeka (speaker), Nene Atang
Related Symbols: Lagos
Page Number: 22
Explanation and Analysis:

At last she said, “You don’t really mean that he will object to your marrying me simply on that account? I had always thought you Ibos were kindly disposed to other people.”

Related Characters: Nene Atang (speaker), Nnaemeka, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 23
Explanation and Analysis:

“I have found a girl who will suit you admirably—Ugoye Nweke, the eldest daughter of our neighbor, Jacob Nweke. She has a proper Christian upbringing […] Her Sunday school teacher has told me that she reads her Bible very fluently. I hope we shall begin negotiations when you come home in December.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Ugoye Nweke
Page Number: 24
Explanation and Analysis:

“Father,” began Nnaemeka suddenly, “I have come to ask forgiveness.”

Related Characters: Nnaemeka (speaker), Nene Atang, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 24
Explanation and Analysis:

“I owe it to you, my son, as a duty to show you what is right and what is wrong. Whoever put this idea into your head might as well have cut your throat. It is Satan’s work.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“I shall never see her,” was the reply. From that night the father scarcely spoke to his son. He did not, however, cease hoping that he would realize how serious was the danger he was heading for. Day and night, he put him in his prayers.

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Nene Atang
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“It has never been heard,” was the verdict of an old man speaking a few weeks later. In that short sentence he spoke for all of his people. This man had come with others to commiserate with Okeke when news went round about his son’s behavior.

Related Characters: Nnaemeka, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“What did Our Lord say?” asked another gentleman. “Sons shall rise against their Fathers; it is there in the Holy Book.”

“It is the beginning of the end,” said another.

Related Characters: Nnaemeka, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“If my son wants to kill himself let him do it with his own hands. It is not for me to help him.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Madubogwu
Related Symbols: The Native Doctor
Page Number: 27
Explanation and Analysis:

“It amazes me that you could be so unfeeling as to send me your wedding picture. I would have sent it back. But on further thought I decided just to cut off your wife and send it back to you because I have nothing to do with her. How I wish that I had nothing to do with you either.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Nene Atang
Related Symbols: Lagos
Page Number: 27
Explanation and Analysis: