Marriage is a Private Affair

by

Chinua Achebe

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Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father Character Analysis

Okeke is Nnaemeka’s father and the antagonist in the story. He is the one that shows the fiercest resistance to his son’s news that he plans to marry Nene, a girl who is neither from their village nor Ibo. A deeply Christian and family-oriented man, Okeke sees his son’s decision as deviant, sinful, and particularly disrespectful to him as a father. Nevertheless, he takes it as his duty as a father to teach his son to see reason; consequently, he spends ample time encouraging his son to change his mind. Once it is clear, however, that Nnaemeka has made up his mind, Okeke stubbornly refuses to see him for eight years as punishment for his son’s decision to marry Nene. He insists all the while that he wants nothing to do with such an insolent son whom he believes has chosen to sever himself from his family and community for a sinful marriage. Nevertheless, underneath Okeke’s hubris, he continues to hope and pray every day that his son will return to him and ask for his forgiveness. It is Okeke, however, who shows the first signs of remorse. Upon learning about the existence of his grandchildren, he realizes that his actions may have cost him the opportunity to play a critical role in his grandchildren’s lives. Nene’s letter to him, along with nature’s reprimand in the form of a storm outside his window, remind him that he may never recover from the pain his absence has caused his family now and in the future.

Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father Quotes in Marriage is a Private Affair

The Marriage is a Private Affair quotes below are all either spoken by Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father or refer to Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
Urban vs. Rural Spaces Theme Icon
).
Marriage Is A Private Affair Quotes

At last she said, “You don’t really mean that he will object to your marrying me simply on that account? I had always thought you Ibos were kindly disposed to other people.”

Related Characters: Nene Atang (speaker), Nnaemeka, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 23
Explanation and Analysis:

“I have found a girl who will suit you admirably—Ugoye Nweke, the eldest daughter of our neighbor, Jacob Nweke. She has a proper Christian upbringing […] Her Sunday school teacher has told me that she reads her Bible very fluently. I hope we shall begin negotiations when you come home in December.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Ugoye Nweke
Page Number: 24
Explanation and Analysis:

“Father,” began Nnaemeka suddenly, “I have come to ask forgiveness.”

Related Characters: Nnaemeka (speaker), Nene Atang, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 24
Explanation and Analysis:

“I owe it to you, my son, as a duty to show you what is right and what is wrong. Whoever put this idea into your head might as well have cut your throat. It is Satan’s work.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“I shall never see her,” was the reply. From that night the father scarcely spoke to his son. He did not, however, cease hoping that he would realize how serious was the danger he was heading for. Day and night, he put him in his prayers.

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Nene Atang
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“It has never been heard,” was the verdict of an old man speaking a few weeks later. In that short sentence he spoke for all of his people. This man had come with others to commiserate with Okeke when news went round about his son’s behavior.

Related Characters: Nnaemeka, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“What did Our Lord say?” asked another gentleman. “Sons shall rise against their Fathers; it is there in the Holy Book.”

“It is the beginning of the end,” said another.

Related Characters: Nnaemeka, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“If my son wants to kill himself let him do it with his own hands. It is not for me to help him.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Madubogwu
Related Symbols: The Native Doctor
Page Number: 27
Explanation and Analysis:

“It amazes me that you could be so unfeeling as to send me your wedding picture. I would have sent it back. But on further thought I decided just to cut off your wife and send it back to you because I have nothing to do with her. How I wish that I had nothing to do with you either.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Nene Atang
Related Symbols: Lagos
Page Number: 27
Explanation and Analysis:

“Our two sons, from the day they learnt that they have a grandfather, have insisted on being taken to him. I find it impossible to tell them that you will not see them. I implore you to allow Nnaemeka to bring them home for a short time during his leave next month. I shall remain here in Lagos.”

Related Characters: Nene Atang (speaker), Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Related Symbols: Lagos
Page Number: 29
Explanation and Analysis:

It was one of those rare occasions when even Nature takes a hand in a human fight. Very soon it began to rain, the first rain in the year. It came down in large sharp drops and was accompanied by the lightning and thunder which mark a change of season.

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Related Symbols: Nature
Page Number: 29
Explanation and Analysis:

By a curious mental process he imagined them standing, sad and forsaken, under the harsh angry weather—shut out from his house.

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Related Symbols: Nature
Page Number: 30
Explanation and Analysis:
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Marriage is a Private Affair PDF

Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father Quotes in Marriage is a Private Affair

The Marriage is a Private Affair quotes below are all either spoken by Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father or refer to Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
Urban vs. Rural Spaces Theme Icon
).
Marriage Is A Private Affair Quotes

At last she said, “You don’t really mean that he will object to your marrying me simply on that account? I had always thought you Ibos were kindly disposed to other people.”

Related Characters: Nene Atang (speaker), Nnaemeka, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 23
Explanation and Analysis:

“I have found a girl who will suit you admirably—Ugoye Nweke, the eldest daughter of our neighbor, Jacob Nweke. She has a proper Christian upbringing […] Her Sunday school teacher has told me that she reads her Bible very fluently. I hope we shall begin negotiations when you come home in December.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Ugoye Nweke
Page Number: 24
Explanation and Analysis:

“Father,” began Nnaemeka suddenly, “I have come to ask forgiveness.”

Related Characters: Nnaemeka (speaker), Nene Atang, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 24
Explanation and Analysis:

“I owe it to you, my son, as a duty to show you what is right and what is wrong. Whoever put this idea into your head might as well have cut your throat. It is Satan’s work.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“I shall never see her,” was the reply. From that night the father scarcely spoke to his son. He did not, however, cease hoping that he would realize how serious was the danger he was heading for. Day and night, he put him in his prayers.

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Nene Atang
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“It has never been heard,” was the verdict of an old man speaking a few weeks later. In that short sentence he spoke for all of his people. This man had come with others to commiserate with Okeke when news went round about his son’s behavior.

Related Characters: Nnaemeka, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“What did Our Lord say?” asked another gentleman. “Sons shall rise against their Fathers; it is there in the Holy Book.”

“It is the beginning of the end,” said another.

Related Characters: Nnaemeka, Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Page Number: 26
Explanation and Analysis:

“If my son wants to kill himself let him do it with his own hands. It is not for me to help him.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Madubogwu
Related Symbols: The Native Doctor
Page Number: 27
Explanation and Analysis:

“It amazes me that you could be so unfeeling as to send me your wedding picture. I would have sent it back. But on further thought I decided just to cut off your wife and send it back to you because I have nothing to do with her. How I wish that I had nothing to do with you either.”

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father (speaker), Nnaemeka, Nene Atang
Related Symbols: Lagos
Page Number: 27
Explanation and Analysis:

“Our two sons, from the day they learnt that they have a grandfather, have insisted on being taken to him. I find it impossible to tell them that you will not see them. I implore you to allow Nnaemeka to bring them home for a short time during his leave next month. I shall remain here in Lagos.”

Related Characters: Nene Atang (speaker), Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Related Symbols: Lagos
Page Number: 29
Explanation and Analysis:

It was one of those rare occasions when even Nature takes a hand in a human fight. Very soon it began to rain, the first rain in the year. It came down in large sharp drops and was accompanied by the lightning and thunder which mark a change of season.

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Related Symbols: Nature
Page Number: 29
Explanation and Analysis:

By a curious mental process he imagined them standing, sad and forsaken, under the harsh angry weather—shut out from his house.

Related Characters: Okeke / Nnaemeka’s Father
Related Symbols: Nature
Page Number: 30
Explanation and Analysis: