Christianity Theme Analysis

In “Marriage is A Private Affair,” Christianity is intricately linked to the question of marriage. Both Nnaemeka and his father are on the same page about the expectation that Nnaemeka marry a woman who is a “good Christian,” and thus implied to be a good woman and good wife. In fact, this is one of the only things they both agree on in the course of the story. Nevertheless, while Christianity is a unifier in this instance, it is a divider in many others. After all, it is what Okeke and his neighbors use as a reason to reinforce their opposition to Nnaemeka’s choice for a wife. For example, shortly after Nnaemeka delivers the news that he is marrying a woman his father did not approve, Okeke declares that this decision is “Satan’s work.” Here, Okeke likens his son’s choice to Satan to project some of the negative associations connected to the devil unto Nnaemeka’s choice for a wife. He does this to convince Nnaemeka to change course and choose God and the Christian path by listening to Okeke. Christianity thus plays a dual role in the story: Okeke and Nnaemeka both use it to find common ground, but it is also a convenient crutch that Okeke uses to plant doubt and guilt in his son. In this way, Achebe shows that Christianity is a flexible religion that can be both a positive force and a negative one, a way to unite people and a way to divide them.

From the outset, it’s clear that Christianity plays a crucial role in the lives of the story’s characters, as both Okeke and Nnaemeka invoke it during their conversation about marriage to align their respective choice for Nnaemeka’s wife with goodness and virtue. As Okeke reminds his son, “Look here, my son […] what one looks for in a wife are a good character and a Christian background.” Nnaemeka echoes this point a few moments later as he—taking a page out of his father’s book—characterizes Nene: “She is a good Christian.” In an otherwise tense conversation, Okeke and Nnaemeka use their joint belief that Nnaemeka’s wife should be a devout Christian to find common ground, revealing in the process that Christianity can be a unifying principle. While they do not agree with each other’s choice for who Nnaemeka should marry, they do agree that the person must at the very least have a “good Christian upbringing.” The definition of a “good” Christian woman, however, is left purposely vague as if they understand that it loses its power as a unifying force once they define it with stricter terminology.

Yet this is precisely what happens moments later when Nnaemeka mentions to his father that in addition to being a “good Christian,” Nene is also “a teacher in a Girls’ School in Lagos.” Suddenly his father foregoes the unifying aspects of Christianity and uses his definition of the religion as a way of undermining his son’s choice for a wife. His censure is immediate: “Teacher did you say? If you consider that a qualification for a good wife I should like to point out to you, Emeka, that no Christian woman should teach. St. Paul in his letter to the Corinthians says that women should keep silence.” Like before, Okeke conflates goodness and Christianity, except now he is arguing for a specific definition of Christianity that is binary and leaves Nene out. According to Okeke, the only a thing a good Christian woman should study is the Bible, and “fluently” in fact; they certainly should not teach, and they must silent and subservient. He says as much in his letter about his choice for his son’s wife: “[Ugoye] has a proper Christian upbringing. When she stopped schooling some years ago her father […] sent her to live in the house of a pastor where she has received all the training a wife could need […] and she reads her Bible very fluently.” That Nene dares to depart, even minutely, from this characterization of a good Christian woman is enough for Okeke to believe she is bad for her son. In this moment, Okeke is asking Nnaemeka to forego marrying someone who is a sinner, and thus a bad woman, according to his understanding of Christianity. Okeke tells his son to reject aligning himself with a sinner, Nene, and follow his advice because it is closer to the Christian way and thus closer to God. It is an argument meant to produce guilt, shame, and a need for atonement from Nnaemeka. It is also a moment of truth: suddenly, the promise of different, coexisting definitions of Christianity, promised by the vagueness of “good” used by both characters in the beginning, is abandoned for Okeke’s more narrow vision of Christianity.

In addition to undermining their earlier show of solidarity, this final moment illuminates the fluidity of Christianity in the story. Although it helps Okeke and Nnaemeka find common ground, it also deepens the rift between them by the end of the conversation. Thus, Achebe suggests that there is something indefinite about Christianity, and perhaps religion in general, as its power to unite and divide gives it a slippery texture that makes it pliable for those who can bend it to suit their needs and opinions.