Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Mother to Mother, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
The Legacy of Colonialism and Apartheid
Family, Tradition, and Obligation
Language, Storytelling, and History
Summary
Analysis
Mandisa briefly address the Mother, explaining that Mxolisi has caused her so much trouble in her life, but he can no longer surprise her, given his surprise conception. She then begins to tell the story of her first pregnancy. Mandisa was only fifteen—still a child—in 1973 when her son was born.
Mandisa’s teen pregnancy, unplanned and unexpected, points to the way that family can be burdensome. At the young age of fifteen, Mandisa has to come to terms with what will be expected of her as a mother, wife, and daughter-in-law, which means a whole host of new responsibilities.
Themes
The story begins: in 1972, Mandisa is a star student, and Mama hopes that both Mandisa and Khaya can use “education to free [themselves] from the slavery” that she and Tata experience as “uneducated labourers.”
Mandisa’s bad luck begins when she gets her period for the first time in 1971, which brings with it Mama’s constant fear that she will get pregnant. Then, Mandisa’s best friend, Nono, begins dating Mandisa’s brother, Khaya. Mandisa cuts off their friendship, upset that Nono initially kept this romance a secret, as she would pretend to visit Mandisa while really visiting her boyfriend.
Though Mandisa and Mama have had a fairly warm and close relationship up until this point, this dynamic changes as Mandisa goes through puberty. On the brink of teenagerhood, Mandisa now faces new expectations from her mother: namely, not getting pregnant.
Themes
Soon after cutting things off with Nono, Mandisa runs into an old school friend, Stella, while getting groceries for Mama. Stella has grown since Mandisa last saw her—she wears a bra now and smokes cigarettes. Stella shares gossip with Mandisa, telling her that a girl they knew from Blouvlei is pregnant, and another has been married off to an old man. Mandisa decides to try and strike up a friendship with Stella, but ironically it helps her rekindle her relationship with Nono, as she can’t help but share Stella’s gossip with Nono.
Hearing gossip from Stella prepares Mandisa for what her life could be like now that she is on the cusp of womanhood. This passage foreshadows the fate that’s in store for Mandisa; though she won’t be married off to an old man, she’ll certainly be married off, and despite Mama’s mounting anxiety about Mandisa’s virginity, the young girl will indeed get pregnant.
Themes
Get the entire Mother to Mother LitChart as a printable PDF.
A new boy begins at Mandisa’s school. His name is China, and he and Mandisa begin to date. Mandisa keeps it secret from Mama, who has warned her to never let a boy touch her, lest she get pregnant. Mandisa heeds Mama’s warnings, and for months doesn’t touch any boys, including Khaya. Finally, Nono explains what Mama means, and what kind of touching can realistically lead to pregnancy.
Mandisa’s staunch avoidance of boys shows that she feels obligated to do what Mama says, even if she doesn’t fully understand what’s being asked of her.
Themes
Mama is obsessed with Mandisa’s virginity. She lengthens Mandisa’s skirts and dresses to make her more modest, and begins doing vaginal examinations to make sure Mandisa is still a virgin, or, in her terms, “whole” and “unspoilt.” Mama also knows if Mandisa became pregnant it would embarrass the whole extended family, and bring shame on Mama, who is active in the local church. Mama insists it is the duty of mothers to “ensure the health of their daughters.”
This passage reveals why Mama is so worried about Mandisa getting pregnant—it has nothing to do with Mandisa’s well-being, and everything to do with Mama’s own reputation as a respected member of the community. Mama sees her patrolling as a “duty” she has as a mother, and she implies that it’s Mandisa’s “duty” as a daughter to be obedient.
Themes
That March, Ribba, a girl only a few years older than Mandisa, dies during a botched abortion. Mama increases her examinations of Mandisa, more afraid for her daughter than ever.
With the news of an abortion gone wrong in the community, Mama does seem to care somewhat about Mandisa’s safety. However, it’s possible that Mama’s worries also stem from wondering what the community would think of her if they found out that her daughter had an abortion. The botched abortion also provides some historical context; abortion wasn’t legalized until 1996 in South Africa (this passage is set in 1972), so anyone who wants or needs one must undergo dangerous illegal procedures.
Themes
Mandisa and China begin to become physically intimate, but they never have penetrative sex, and therefore hope to avoid the risk of pregnancy. Mandisa fears Mama, and China fears his father and respects Mandisa’s wishes.
Even as Mandisa begins growing into her sexuality and meets a boy whom she really likes, she is still careful to follow Mama’s main rule: no penetrative sex. Mandisa’s conscientiousness suggests that she sees her mother as having her best interests at heart, thus fulfilling the obligation stated earlier that mothers must “ensure the health of their daughters.”
Themes
Mama begins to suspect Khaya and Nono are dating, and begins to verbally abuse Nono, and pick on her for her appearance and her perceived promiscuity. She becomes even more upset when, that June, Nono’s mother comes over to inform Mama that Nono is pregnant, and Khaya is the father. Mama blames Nono, arguing “it is the girl’s responsibility […] to see that boundaries are not crossed,” and forbids Mandisa from speaking to her friend.
The immense pressure Mama puts on Mandisa to not get pregnant, and the sharp words she pelts at Nono, suggest that she believes it’s a woman’s obligation to be morally upright and guide the men in their life toward the right path. She even explicitly says as much, declaring “it is the girl’s responsibility.”
Themes
Mandisa is careful never to lay with China “in the manner of a wife with her husband” because her mother says “good girl[s]” don’t behave that way, and Mandisa desperately wants to be a “good girl.”
Mandisa continues to subscribe to her mother’s outlook and rules in an attempt to fulfill her obligations as a daughter and meet her family’s expectations that she will behave like a “good girl.”
Themes
Eventually, Mandisa begins to refuse Mama’s physical virginity checks. They have a stand off that lasts a week, at the end of which Mama tells Mandisa to pack her things, because she is moving to Gungululu to live with her grandmother. Mandisa begs her mother not to send her away to the far off desert village, but it’s too late, and soon her mother delivers her to Makhulu, a woman whom Mandisa has never even met.
Mama and Mandisa’s increasingly strained relationship reaches a fever pitch when Mandisa begins boldly going against the grain of what her family expects of her. The fact that Mandisa finds Mama’s virginity checks so invasive highlights the potentially negative aspects of family expectations. However, Mandisa’s refusal literally pulls the family apart, which suggests that these obligations and expectations were keeping the family together.
Themes
In September of 1972, Mandisa lays in bed in the early morning darkness. She misses China, who is back is Cape Town, while Mandisa now lives in Gungululu. She’s lived here for the past three months, and genuinely believes that, if not for her love for China, she would’ve died. However, her grandmother, Makhulu should also be given credit: Makhulu cooks Mandisa’s favorite foods to make sure she eats, and is kind and gentle. Still, Mandisa feels abandoned and banished, her relationship with Mama forever changed.
Even though Mandisa was the one who began to refuse her mother’s vaginal checks—thus setting in motion a dispute that led to Mandisa’s banishment to Gungululu—she still seems to find the situation unjust. While Mama expected complete obedience from her daughter, Mandisa expected, it seems, to be treated with unconditional love. Neither doubted that they had an obligation to one another as mother and daughter, but how they defined those obligations was drastically different.
Themes
Mandisa has three months left in Gungululu. After, she’ll either go to high school in Cape Town or boarding school. She hopes she’ll get to go to boarding school, although it is more expensive, and worries that God will not answer her prayers.
Mandisa has high hopes for her education, which suggests that she’s absorbed her mother’s teachings that pursuing an education is the only way a black South African can escape poverty and find a better life under apartheid.
Themes
One afternoon after school, Mandisa picks up the mail. She hopes to hear from China, but finds a letter for Makhulu instead. Mandisa’s grandmother cannot read, and so Mandisa reads the note to her. It is from Auntie Funiwe, Mama’s sister, and Makhulu’s daughter. Funiwe writes that she is going to come visit after the schools close in the fall. She says she is coming to deliver a baby. Makhulu is confused, as her daughter is not a teacher, and therefore uninterested in school holidays, and has never expressed interest in motherhood. Still, Mandisa rereads the letter and eventually Makhulu seems content that she understands what it says.
Auntie Funiwe’s letter is bewildering for Mandisa and Makhulu alike, as they can’t make sense of why Auntie Funiwe would be having a baby (she is Mama’s sister, and thus is likely close to middle age) or why should would care about aligning her visit with the school holidays. Taken together, these two details suggest that perhaps Auntie Funiwe thinks Mandisa is pregnant and is coming to assist her during her break from school.
Themes
At the end of the school term, Mandisa attends a school ceremony in which students are called out according to their class rank. She is not first, and worries for a moment that she will be last, but then is rewarded with second place. She’s happy for herself, but also that she can bring the good news back to Makhulu and China.
Even though Mama was the one who instilled in Mandisa the importance of an education, Mandisa wants to share her success with her grandmother and her boyfriend—not her mother. It increasingly seems that the expectations Mama had for Mandisa (like undergoing Mama’s uncomfortable vaginal checks and avoiding boys at all costs) tore the family apart.
Themes
Funiwe arrives late one night and Mandisa doesn’t meet her until the morning. Mandisa is nervous and makes little direct eye contact with her aunt as she brings her coffee, but she can sense Funiwe staring at her. Funiwe, with fresh eyes, can see what Makhulu had failed to notice, and Mandisa eavesdrops from outside as Funiwe asks Makhulu if Mandisa is pregnant. Mandisa realizes she hasn’t had her period in the three months she’s been in Gungululu.
It seems that Auntie Funiwe’s instincts were right, as Mandisa is, indeed, pregnant. Mama was strict with Mandisa about how she interacted with boys—so strict, in fact, that Mandisa avoiding touching boys in even the most benign of ways. The novel implies that Mama was so strict about preserving her daughter’s innocence that she kept her dangerously ignorant of the realities of sex.
Themes
Funiwe and Makhulu call Mandisa inside and begin to question her. She explains she had a boyfriend, China, back in Cape Town, but never had penetrative sex with him—he had “always played outside, between the thighs. Makhulu verifies that Mandisa has not had a boyfriend in Gungululu, and that when she arrived she was, according to Mama’s inspections, still a virgin. The two women send for a midwife from the village. She examines Mandisa, and confirms that she’s technically still a virgin, but she is definitely pregnant, exclaiming, “She has been jumped into!”
Mandisa’s shock at being three months pregnant without even knowing how it happened once again points to her naivete and suggests that her mother failed her “duty” to “ensure the health of [her] daughter” through scare tactics and a lack of information about intimacy, sex, and pregnancy. The midwife affirms that Mandisa is telling the truth—she hasn’t had penetrative sex, as the novel implies that her hymen is unbroken—but nonetheless Mandisa is pregnant, and is suddenly thrust into the role of mother-to-be.
Themes
Makhulu and Funiwe call Mama, who arrives two days later. Sobbing, she wonders “what will the church people [will] say” and complains about the shame Mandisa brought to the family. Funiwe tries to explain that Mandisa has brought no shame, and that the whole situation is an unfortunate accident. She also urges Mama to “support and protect” Mandisa.
In standing up for Mandisa, Funiwe reveals that she believes that Mandisa is still a “good girl” and shouldn’t be blamed for her unplanned pregnancy. Funiwe also speaks to the nature of family obligation, suggesting that families should “support and protect” one another even in the midst of unfortunate circumstances. Up until this point, though, Mama’s actions have shown that she’s not on Mandisa’s side unconditionally.
Themes
Mandisa, meanwhile, is totally numb. Mama’s reaction has “drained the last ounce of feeling” from her. “Fear. Shame. [and] Anger” all canceled each other out. Like Mama, Mandisa feels her technical virginity doesn’t matter. She wants to die. Meanwhile, despite Funiwe and Makhulu’s urging, Mama refuses to see her daughter as “an innocent victim and therefore someone worthy of her sympathy.” Mandisa feels her life is over, the future she’d planned “bulldozed, extinguished, pulverized.”
By refusing to “support and protect” Mandisa, as Funiwe has just urged her to do, Mama only pulls the family further apart. Although Mandisa’s life will change regardless of whether or not Mama “supports and protects” her, Mandisa’s deep despair at having her future “bulldozed, extinguished, [and] pulverized” would likely not be so acute if she knew she had her mother’s loyalty and help through this scary time.
Themes
