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Mama
Mandisa’s first boyfriend, and the father of Mxolisi. In his youth, China was a respectful teenage boy, a good student with a bright future, and never pressured Mandisa for sex, carefully listening to and acknowledging her boundaries. When Mandisa moves away to live with Makhulu in Gungululu, China writes her frequently, and presumably stays faithful. However, when he discovers Mandisa is pregnant, his entire demeanor changes. He scathingly accuses Mandisa of cheating on him—after all, the pair have never had penetrative sex—and believes that she’s trying to trick him into taking responsibility as the father of the child. Although he and his family are eventually convinced to acknowledge Mxolisi as part of their bloodline, and China and Mandisa marry out of duty, China never forgives Mandisa or their son for ruining his future. He is forced to drop out of school to work and support the family, and, after two years of unhappy marriage, runs away, never to be heard from again. Mandisa feels similarly, and throughout her life she resents Mxolisi for getting in the way of her own plans for her life.
China Quotes in Mother to Mother
The Mother to Mother quotes below are all either spoken by China or refer to China. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
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Chapter 7 Quotes
But that was not her way of doing things. Not as far as my being in danger was concerned. She seemed to think each time I left the house, I could only return with a stomach. To the disgrace of the entire Chizama clan; not just our family. Besides, she was a secretary of the Mothers’ Union at our church. With such high office, she didn’t want anyone to say she had raised a rotten potato. By all means, Mama made sure her potato stayed unspoilt.
[…]
That was the beginning of many a trial, for me. Mama’s making sure I remained “whole” or ‘unspoilt” as she said.
“God put mothers on earth, to ensure the health of their daughters,” I heard often, whenever I attempted to resist the practice. Each time she looked, she’d wash her hands thereafter. But I was the one who felt dirty.
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Chapter 8 Quotes
“I am going to boarding school the following year,” he said, his voice flat, with neither gladness nor sorrow in it. With no trace of sadness or regret.
[…]
“The teachers have helped me get a scholarship. They think I am bright, I deserve to get a higher education. And Father has been wonderfully cooperative ... I have his complete support.”
I could not believe his insensitivity. Did China really think I had wanted to leave school, have a baby, become his wife ... or anybody’s wife, for that matter? Did he think I had not had plans for continuing with my education?
I stood there, my feet weighed a ton. I stood there, and a heavy stone came and lodged itself inside my heart. While he was busy explaining his plans and his difficulties, I saw another side to the boy I had so adored and not that long ago. China was vain. Self-centered. And weak. He was a low-down heartless cur.
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Once more, it was brought home to me what turmoil the coming of this child had brought to my life. Were it not for him, of course, I would still be in school. Instead, I was forced into being a wife, forever abandoning my dreams, hopes, aspirations. For ever.
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“For shoulders so tender, so far from fully formed, great is the weight you bear. You hold yourself and you are held ...” — she paused before saying the word ... “responsible.” She said the word with a sigh, as though she were a judge sending a young person, a first offender, to the gallows. Sending him there because of some terrible and overwhelming evidence she dared disregard only at her own peril.
[…]
“Mama,” she said, her voice once more her own. “You must free this your son.”
I said I didn’t understand.
“You know what I’m talking about. Go home. Think about your child. Children are very sensitive. They know when we hate them.” After a small pause she shook her head. “Perhaps, I use a word too strong ... but, resentment can be worse than hate.”
It was my turn to gasp. My whole being turned to ice. Tears pricked my eyes. I felt my father-in-law’s eyes on me and turned mine his way. His brow was gathered, his eyes wide with unasked questions. But the sangoma wasn’t done.
“But to come back to why you have come to see me,” she broke our locked eyes, “this child has seen great evil in his short little life. He needs all the love and understanding he can get.”
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China Character Timeline in Mother to Mother
The timeline below shows where the character China appears in Mother to Mother. The colored dots and icons indicate which themes are associated with that appearance.
Chapter 7
A new boy begins at Mandisa’s school. His name is China, and he and Mandisa begin to date. Mandisa keeps it secret from Mama, who has...
(full context)
Mandisa and China begin to become physically intimate, but they never have penetrative sex, and therefore hope to...
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Mandisa is careful never to lay with China “in the manner of a wife with her husband” because her mother says “good girl[s]”...
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In September of 1972, Mandisa lays in bed in the early morning darkness. She misses China, who is back is Cape Town, while Mandisa now lives in Gungululu. She’s lived here...
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One afternoon after school, Mandisa picks up the mail. She hopes to hear from China, but finds a letter for Makhulu instead. Mandisa’s grandmother cannot read, and so Mandisa reads...
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...for herself, but also that she can bring the good news back to Makhulu and China.
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...Makhulu call Mandisa inside and begin to question her. She explains she had a boyfriend, China, back in Cape Town, but never had penetrative sex with him—he had “always played outside,...
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Chapter 8
...does her best to stay out of her father’s way, distracting herself by thinking about China, and wondering when he’ll come see her.
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Eventually, Mandisa asks Mama about seeing China, arguing, “this has happened to him as much as it has happened to me.” Mama...
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China doesn’t greet Mandisa. Instead, he stands still his face “a mask carved from the hardest...
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Mandisa is shocked. She cannot believe China thinks she “wanted to leave school, have a baby, become his wife.” She, too, had...
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Eventually, when Mandisa is six months pregnant, her family takes her to China’s house. Her uncles walk behind her, and greet a cluster of China’s male relatives, who...
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Mandisa is mostly upset she wasn’t able to see China, and wonders if, given more time to process the pregnancy, he’ll come around and accept...
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By late February, when Mxolisi is two months old, Mandisa no longer wants to marry China. She had wanted to get married before she gave birth, so she wouldn’t be an...
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Mandisa is angry that China (and his people) seemed uninterested in marrying her or taking responsibility for her pregnancy. Mandisa...
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Unfortunately, Tata, swayed by his brothers and extended family, changes his mind. China’s family is ready to accept Mandisa as China’s wife, and so, three months after having...
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Mandisa is forced to move into China’s family’s home. She takes a few personal items, but leaves behind relics of her girlhood....
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Mandisa arrives at China’s home, where he lives with his extended family. A young man ushers Mandisa inside and...
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...knows the family can also stop suggesting new ones, and stick her with something unpleasant. China’s aunt suggests “Nohehake,” which contains “Hehake,” “an exclamation of surprise at some […] unimaginable monstrosity.”...
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That evening, China complains about Mandisa’s “miserly dowry.” Mandisa lashes out, and the couple sleeps turned away from...
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China gets a job at a Cold Meat Storage facility. He works long hours, but sleeps...
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One morning China and Mandisa have an especially bad fight. Mandisa tries to wake China up for work,...
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As frustrated as China is with his life, Mandisa is just as fed-up. She’s in a period called ukuhota,...
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...her servitude might be up, and she’ll be able to restart her education. She asks China’s father, who offers excuses mostly that Mxolisi is too young (even though Mama could care...
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After another year, Mandisa asks China’s father if she can return to school. This time, he says they don’t have enough...
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That year, just after Mxolisi turns two, China disappears. He leaves for work one day and never returns. China’s father blames Mandisa for...
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China’s father, distraught, stops going to work. Without his and China’s income, the family desperately needs...
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...Mxolisi do everything together, and Mama and Tata love him. Still, Mandisa knows Mxolisi misses China and China’s father.
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China’s father suggests bringing Mxolisi to a sangoma, an indigenous healer. Mandisa, Mxolisi, and China’s father...
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...visit Mandisa and asks when Mandisa is planning to have another baby. Mandisa jokes that China is not around, and she’d need his help. Nono offers to find Mandisa a partner,...
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...and Mxolisi asks again. However, when he doesn’t receive an answer, he never inquires after China again. Even after Mxolisi begins to speak again, Mandisa worries about the “terrible guilt” he...
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