My Beloved World

Sonia regularly goes to the pediatric diabetes clinic at Jacobi Medical Center. There, she meets Dr. Elsa Paulson, the first woman in power she encounters. The clinic focuses on kid-friendly education on how to live with diabetes. Sonia takes a single dose of insulin in the morning—without her shots, she’d die in days. Moderating sweets comes easily, as she hates the sensation of blood sugar spikes and drops. Since there’s no way to monitor her blood sugar in real time, she pays attention to how she feels (the adult Sonia credits this habit with helping her develop sensitivity to others’ emotions, a useful skill in the courtroom). Even with the best care, it’s still likely that Sonia will die young. Mami is terrified of amputations or blindness, which annoys Sonia to no end.

Of the family, Alfred is the only one who doesn’t think diabetes is a horrible disability. He makes Sonia climb to the top of the Empire State building and even puts her on a horse a few times. Eventually, Sonia decides that if she’s going to die early, she shouldn’t waste time. She never takes time off of school and this urgency never goes away.

During one of Sonia’s appointments when she’s 10, she gets a pamphlet about choosing a profession. She notes that the list of jobs that diabetics can hold seems short. Then, she gets to the list of professions that are off limits. Diabetics can’t be pilots, bus drivers, or police officers. This stops Sonia in her tracks—she knows that detectives (aside from her beloved Nancy Drew) are often police officers, and she wants to be a detective. Crestfallen, Sonia thinks she’d be an exceptional detective if only she weren’t diabetic.

However, Sonia finds the solution to her problem on TV when Perry Mason airs on Thursdays. Perry Mason is a defense attorney and always untangles the story behind the crime. However, though Perry Mason himself is heroic, Sonia likes Burger, the prosecutor—he’s a good loser and is committed to finding the truth—and she likes the judge. The judge gets to make the final decision. Seeing the courtroom drama unfold makes Sonia feel like she’s working on a puzzle. She decides she’d like to be a lawyer, but she also thinks she’d like to be a judge. Neither seems any more far-fetched than the other to 10-year-old Sonia.