A.J., whose nickname is Merchant of Sex, is responsible for financing Islam Inc. Like the narrator, A.J. is an agent, and his cover is that he is an “international playboy and practical jokester.” He also claims to be “independent,” but the narrator explains that no one can be independent in this business. A.J.’s most notable practical jokes include destroying the reputation of a famous chef, spiking the punch at a party and causing an orgy, crashing a barge into the San Marco bridge in Venice, and delivering a homoerotic statue to an all-boys boarding school. He also known for using a water gun to shoot the sperm of other men up the skirts of women at parties. It is unclear for whom or what A.J. is really working, but the narrator supposes that A.J.’s underlying motivation is the destruction of the state of Israel.