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Speech vs. Silence
Themes and Colors
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Obasan, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
As Naomi comes to terms with her trauma, she struggles to unlearn her culturally-ingrained impulse to ignore her own needs for the sake of others. Naomi’s elders teach her in her childhood that she must suppress her emotions for the sake of courtesy, and that “to try to meet one’s own needs in spite of the wishes of others is to be ‘wagamama’—selfish and inconsiderate.” This culture of appeasement and accommodation instills in Naomi an instinct for empathy, but it often crosses the line from selfless to needlessly self-sacrificial. At four years old, Naomi has so internalized the notion that “one does not resist adults” that she doesn’t know how to protest when Old Man Gower sexually abuses her. A few years later, when Mother leaves Naomi to tend to her own ailing grandmother in Japan, Naomi wonders why her need for her mother is less important than her great-grandmother’s. She questions the tradition of honoring others’ wishes before her own, but only internally, and she continues to live by this tradition into adulthood, even as she feels “weighted with decorum” that prevents her from living openly. This way of thinking is an obstacle in Naomi’s reckoning with the governmental abuses of her childhood, as early in the novel Naomi posits that the wartime imprisonment of Japanese Canadians might have been necessary to secure the comfort of white Canadians. Though Aunt Emily convinces her otherwise, that Naomi has this thought highlights the vulnerabilities of a culture that prioritizes politeness and selflessness to such an extent. Though these are admirable traits, the novel suggests that when selflessness and decorum are prioritized over personal security and dignity, they can lead to internalized acceptance of oppression.
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Selflessness and Decorum ThemeTracker
The ThemeTracker below shows where, and to what degree, the theme of Selflessness and Decorum appears in each chapter of Obasan. Click or tap on any chapter to read its Summary & Analysis.
How often theme appears:
chapter length:
Chapter
Prologue
Pro
Chapter 1
1
Chapter 2
2
Chapter 3
3
Chapter 4
4
Chapter 5
5
Chapter 6
6
Chapter 7
7
Chapter 8
8
Chapter 9
9
Chapter 10
10
Chapter 11
11
Chapter 12
12
Chapter 13
13
Chapter 14
14
Chapter 15
15
Chapter 16
16
Chapter 17
17
Chapter 18
18
Chapter 19
19
Chapter 20
20
Chapter 21
21
Chapter 22
22
Chapter 23
23
Chapter 24
24
Chapter 25
25
Chapter 26
26
Chapter 27
27
Chapter 28
28
Chapter 29
29
Chapter 30
30
Chapter 31
31
Chapter 32
32
Chapter 33
33
Chapter 34
34
Chapter 35
35
Chapter 36
36
Chapter 37
37
Chapter 38
38
Chapter 39
39
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Selflessness and Decorum Quotes in Obasan
Below you will find the important quotes in Obasan related to the theme of Selflessness and Decorum.
Chapter 7 Quotes
The Custodian’s reply to Aunt Emily must have been the same to anyone else who dared to write. “Be good, my undesirable, my illegitimate children, be obedient, be servile, above all don’t send me any letters of inquiry about your homes, while I stand on guard (over your property) in the true north strong, though you are not free. B. Good.”
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One of the first papers Naomi finds in Aunt Emily’s box of documents is a letter from government official B. Good denying Emily’s request for information about the property the government seized from her mother. The name “B. Good” is comically obvious in terms of the government’s expectations of Japanese Canadians, so in Naomi’s mind the man becomes a representation of all unfeeling Canadian officials and of the Canadian government itself. Naomi’s imagined response from B. Good is patronizing and paternalistic, and it implies that Japanese Canadians should accept any mistreatment as a condition of being allowed to live in Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debiti
Chapter 18 Quotes
It is always so. We must always honor the wishes of others before our own. We will make the way smooth by restraining emotion. Though we might wish Grandma and Grandpa to stay, we must watch them go. To try to meet one’s own needs in spite of the wishes of others is to be “wagamama”—selfish and inconsiderate. Obasan teaches me not to be wagamama by always heeding everyone’s needs. That is why she is waiting patiently beside me at this bridge. That is why, when I am offered gifts, I must first refuse politely. It is such a tangle trying to decipher the needs and intents of others.
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Naomi struggles to confront her grief and trauma as both an adult and a child, because she has been raised to internalize those feelings lest they burden others. When her family is split again after a brief reunion with Grandma and Grandpa Nakane, Naomi believes that voicing her wish for them to stay would be selfish. This belief is a cultural one, and it stands in contrast to the Western ideal of individuality and personal progress. This tradition of empathy and striving to make others happy can in many contexts be noble, but it also leads to the culture of Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui au
Chapter 27 Quotes
And I am tired, I suppose, because I want to get away from all this. From the past and all these papers, from the present, from the memories, from the deaths, from Aunt Emily and her heap of words. I want to break loose from the heavy identity, the evidence of rejection, the unexpressed passion, the misunderstood politeness. I am tired of living between deaths and funerals, weighted with decorum, unable to shout or sing or dance, unable to scream or swear, unable to laugh, unable to breathe out loud.
(Keep your eyes down. When you are in the city, do not look into anyone's face. That way they may not see you. That way you offend less.)
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As Naomi gets deeper into the documents in Aunt Emily’s box, she reflects on the weight of the past. Remembering her trauma and, by extension, narrating her story is exhausting, and Naomi resents that she must do it. She is also bitter that the racist society in which she lives has rendered her Japanese Canadian identity a “heavy” burden she must bear. This society misunderstands and takes advantage of Japanese cultural values surrounding politeness, leaving Naomi “weighted with decorum.” The interaction of the culture of decorum with white Canadian culture misunderstanding also causes these ideals of politeness to shift in Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commo
Chapter 39 Quotes
This body of grief is not fit for human habitation. Let there be flesh. The song of mourning is not a lifelong song.
Father, Mother, my relatives, my ancestors, we have come to the forest tonight, to the place where the colors all meet––red and yellow and blue. We have turned and returned to your arms as you turn to earth and form the forest floor.
Tonight we picked berries with the help of your sighted hands. […] See how our stained fingers have read the seasons, and how our serving hands serve you still.
My loved ones, rest in your world of stone. Around you flows the underground stream.
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The final moments of Naomi’s story see her coming to terms with the many deaths of her loved ones. Naomi has tried to escape her grief by denying it, but now she realizes that if she lets herself feel the full weight of that grief, eventually she will be able to move on. In part, this is because she no longer feels that the loved ones she has lost are truly gone. She sees them in the beauty of the landscape and feels their guidance as she carries out simple, heartfelt tasks that her ancestors have performed for generations. In Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusant
