Love and Wealth Theme Analysis

Growing up, Hang has few connections with adult figures who love her. Her two primary caregivers are her mother, Que, and her Aunt Tam, both of whom use money and food to try and express their affections. But while Hang appreciates the things that she is given, she longs for them to support her emotionally, not just materially. Ironically, Que views Aunt Tam’s monetary gifts as an insult to her ability to take care of her daughter and competition for Hang’s affection, and Que and her daughter grow more distant as a result. Thus, Duong argues that while wealth can be used as a means of care, it is not a substitute for genuine love and emotional support.

Hang recounts how she and her mother have a very close relationship when Hang is growing up in Hanoi. Even in these initial stories, Duong connects food with love, but Duong also emphasizes that what Hang truly values is the palpable sense that her mother loves her outside of these material goods. For the first 10 years of Hang’s life, Que prepares food and a packet of candy for Hang every morning before she goes off to school. Yet Hang takes real notice of the fact that her mother looks at “tenderly, with a sort of admiration in her gaze.” While the food is certainly an expression of the love that Que has for her daughter, in reality what Hang values most is the feeling that her mother bears real affection for her. Later, when Hang and Que go to a peasant market and a traveling bazaar, Hang’s value of love over gifts and food is reinforced. Que buys little statuettes and food for Hang there, but Hang feels closest to her mother afterward, when they sit at the roots of a nearby tree and Hang “snuggle[s] up to her mother.” Feeling Que’s arms around her gives Hang a greater sense of protection and love than anything her mother could buy.

Aunt Tam also uses wealth and food to express her love to an even greater degree than Que does. While Hang appreciates and politely accepts the gestures, she often finds them empty or even terrifying because Tam’s love is borne of Hang’s connection to her father, Ton, rather than Hang herself. When Aunt Tam meets Hang for the first time, Aunt Tam gives Hang gold earrings and rings to wear, even though the gifts are “unbefitting a nine-year-old.” Hang knows that Aunt Tam means well, but it is an uncomfortable gesture for Hang. She describes how she loves her aunt but sometimes tries to avoid her to evade these intense gifts and attention. Thus, while Hang appreciates the gifts as a sense of affection, she recognizes that they have little to do with how much her aunt actually loves her and more to do with their shared family history. In later years, Aunt Tam visits Hang and Que in Hanoi, and Aunt Tam gives Hang enormous amounts of food for Tet, the Vietnamese New Year. Hang describes how her mother is “stunned and embarrassed to receive the gift, but Tam asserts, “I’m not giving this food to you. This is my offering to my brother's memory. It's all for Hang.” Even early on, Duong hints at the fact that the gifts of food are purely symbolic. The tension between Que and Aunt Tam also foreshadows the wedge that this wealth will drive between Hang and her mother, underscoring how the potential harm of showing affection in this way can outweigh its benefits.

The irony of Aunt Tam’s gifts is that even if Hang doesn’t see the gestures as proof of real love, Que worries that Aunt Tam’s gestures are indicative of a greater love than she can give to her daughter. This, in turn, causes Que and Hang’s relationship to become strained. After Hang meets Aunt Tam, she starts to notice that Que stops “doting on [her] and calling [Hang] her ‘dear child.’” This distance that Hang perceives is only accelerated when she suggests that they sell one of the rings Aunt Tam gave her so that they can repair their leaking roof. Que responds, “You don't know what it's like for me, that I can't even provide a decent roof for us. I can't face them anymore—your aunt Tam, our family, the neighbors.” She becomes cold toward Hang, feeling that Hang’s suggestion is critical of her, and that Hang loves Tam more because of the money (and well-being) that she is able to provide for Hang. Even though the rings were meant to help Hang, they are instead causing friction between her and her mother, illustrating their greater harm. When Hang is accepted to university at the Institute for the Social Sciences, Aunt Tam throws a massive banquet for her entire village in honor of Hang. When Hang tells her mother that she’s staying for a week at Aunt Tam’s leading up to the banquet, Que becomes bitter because she’s not rich enough to throw Hang a feast. Hang protests, saying, “Don't say that. We’ve always lived simply but happily together.” Hang emphasizes that it is not the money or food that is important to her, but a sense of being happy with someone she loves. But because Aunt Tam has been so lavish, Duong illustrates how this dynamic unfortunately creates conflict between Hang and her mother.

Ultimately, when Hang thinks back on her childhood with her mother, she thinks of it as a “unique paradise.” Although the wealth and food that her aunt provides gives her greater material comforts, they do not make her feel loved and supported in the same way that her mother’s love did. The tragic irony of the novel, then, is that this perception of needing money and food to show love actually erodes the happiness that Hang and her mother had—reinforcing the idea that wealth cannot take the place of love.