Parson’s Pleasure

Mr. Cyril Boggis, a furniture salesman and antiques dealer, makes his way through the English countryside on a journey that he makes every Sunday. As he drives, he reflects on the purpose of these journeys: for every week for nearly a decade, Mr. Boggis has been methodically combing the countryside for homes containing undiscovered antiques. He poses as a parson and a member of the Society for the Preservation of Rare Furniture in order to gain entry to each home: if he discovers furniture that would be valuable, then he lies to the resident in order to buy the piece at a much cheaper price than what it is really worth. In this way he has been able to make a tidy profit.

At the first home Mr. Boggis visits, he doesn’t discover anything of value, but when he arrives at the second home he sees what he realizes is a Chippendale Commode, an incredibly rare piece of furniture of which there are only three that are publicly known. If Mr. Boggis manages to acquire the commode, he’ll be rich and famous. The three men he discovers at the houseRummins, who owns the house; Bert, his son; and Claud; their neighbor are initially wary of Mr. Boggis. When he gains entry to the home, Mr. Boggis verifies his initial discovery but pretends to the three men that the commode is a cheap reproduction. Although they attempt to persuade him otherwise by showing him a receipt that serves as proof of its veracitya receipt that increases the value of the commode exponentiallyMr. Boggis convinces them that the commode is fake by expounding on the number of strategies counterfeiters use in order to establish his own expertise, as well as swapping out one of the screws for a machine-made screw through sleight of hand. Once convinced, the men sell the commode to Mr. Boggis for a fraction of its price: he tells them that he will only use the legs for a sentimental project, and the rest will become firewood.

As Mr. Boggis goes to get his car to put the commode inside, the three men begin to worry that the commode will not fit: after all, they’ve never seen a parson drive a large car, and if it doesn’t fit, Mr. Boggis might use that as an excuse to not buy the commode at all, since they believe he did not seem particularly enthused about the purchase. Claud proposes they take initiative and cut the legs off for Mr. Boggis, so that he can’t rescind his offer; upon Rummins’s assent, the men get started. As they finish the work, Claud once again proposes that they chop up the rest of the commode, too, so that Mr. Boggis is saved the work of making kindling out of the rest of it and once again can’t wiggle out of their deal. The men get to work destroying the rest of the commode. Rummins comments that despite what Mr. Boggis says, the commode had been of remarkably fine craftsmanship. Just as they finish its destruction, Bert shouts that he can see Mr. Boggis in his car, driving back to the farmhouse.