Q & A

Ram remembers the Paharganj railway station in Delhi, which almost every visitor has seen. He tells Smita about his birth, on Christmas Day at a hospital not far from that railway station. He is placed for adoption and initially adopted by Mrs. Philomena Thomas and her husband Dominic Thomas. But when it comes out that Philomena is having an affair with a Muslim man and runs off, she leaves Ram behind, and Mr. Thomas gets angry. He doesn’t want Ram anymore and takes him back to the orphanage.

Ram ends up living with a priest named Father Timothy, who called briefly calls Ram by the name Joseph Michael Thomas. One day, however, some representatives from the All Faith Committee come by, saying that they heard a priest was trying to convert a boy who was born Hindu and that a mob might soon come to take the boy back, using the Christian name as evidence of the attempted conversion. After some debate, everyone arrives at naming the boy Ram Mohammad Thomas, which will satisfy the mob because it combines Hinduism, Islam, and Christianity, since no one knows the actual religion of Ram’s birth parents.

Father Timothy came from York, England, but has lived in India for many years. Ram stays with him for several years, and he is the one who teaches Ram to speak English. Father Timothy also teaches Ram bits and pieces of Hinduism, Islam, and Christianity, although Ram never considers himself a particularly religious child. Ram grows to like the church building as well as things like Easter eggs and Christmas trees.

Ram is never certain what his relationship with Father Timothy is. Initially, he thought Father Timothy was his biological father, but while the priest is fatherly at times, at other times, Ram fears that Father Timothy sees him as a “servant” or a “pest.” Still, the people in his church all seem to think highly of him.

One day, Father Timothy invites over Father John, a new younger priest in the church. A live-in servant named Joseph is supposed to serve the food, but Ram is eager to impress Father Timothy, so he grabs the soup and accidentally spills it while trying to serve it. A few days later, Father Timothy goes on holiday and leaves Ram with Father John, who remembers him as “that idiot orphan boy” who spilled soup.

On the first day Father Timothy is gone, Joseph sends Ram to take milk to Father John’s room. Father John invites Ram to watch a movie with him. Ram thinks at first that it’s a nice movie about priests, but it turns out to be The Exorcist, and Ram eventually leaves screaming.

Three days later, Ram is at the market with Joseph. Suddenly a man rides by on a motorcycle and hits Ram on the head. Ram only realizes later that the motorcycle rider has the same build as Father John. A week later, Ram takes Father’s John’s mail to him while he’s in the bathtub and he happens to see that sticking out from under Father John’s mattress are magazines that say Out and Gay Power. Father John walks in on him and gets angry, and Ram notices that Father John has tattoos of snakes on his arms.

Ram notices young men visiting Father John’s room at night. One time, he gets curious and looks, seeing Father John with a young man in leather, both sniffing white powder. Soon after Father Timothy gets back from holiday, he gets in an argument with Father John, and Ram thinks people in the church have been complaining about Father John.

One day, Ram goes to the confession box where Father Timothy is on the other side. He confesses about spying on Father John, finding his magazines, and watching him snort a substance that Ram calls “talcum powder.” That evening, Ram overhears a major argument between Father Timothy and Father John, where Father Timothy threatens to report John to the Bishop.

One day, an English backpacker from York comes through Delhi, and Father Timothy offers him a place to stay. His name is Ian, and he’s blond and about 16 years old. He has come to India to meet his father, who teaches at a Catholic school in Dehradun. Ram likes talking to Ian. A few days later, Father Timothy invites Father John to dinner with Ian. That night, as Ram is walking to the bathroom, he sees a light go on in Father John’s room. Ram looks through the keyhole and sees Father John bending Ian over a table with his pajamas around his ankles. Ram rushes to tell Father Timothy, who goes and sees the same thing that Ram saw, then bursts in and gets very angry.

The next morning, Ram wakes up and finds the bloody bodies of Father Timothy and Father John by the altar. Father John’s hand is clutching a shotgun. Ram screams and Joseph comes in. Ian wakes up, comes into the church, and also begins to cry. Ian reveals that he lied earlier about having a father in Dehradun and in fact, Father Timothy was his biological father.

In the present, Smita is amazed by this story and how Father Timothy led a double life as a priest with a child. Ram explains how Ian eventually went back home to England to live with an uncle, while Ram himself got sent to a juvenile home. They press play on the next section of the quiz show.

Behind the scenes at the show, Prem Kumar tells Ram that the next question will ask him if he knows what the initials “FBI” stand for. He wants to make sure Ram knows the answer, because it will look bad if Ram doesn’t win at least a little bit of money. Ram says he doesn’t know FBI, but he does know “INRI,” which is written at the top of the cross. On the air, Prem Kumar asks Ram what letters are normally inscribed on top of a cross. Ram correctly answers “INRI” from the available choices.