Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

On Sunday, Simon spends his day on his bed listening to music. He's annoyed that Nora is mysteriously out of the house. He runs through what he knows about Blue, but realizes that he doesn't know much about anyone in his class. He doesn't know about anyone's parents, and Simon thinks that’s kind of terrible. Simon feels like even if he does figure out who Blue is, Blue clearly isn't interested anymore, and it's the worst feeling.

On Monday, Simon finds a grocery sack looped through his locker. He initially thinks it's a homophobic prank, but it turns out to be an Elliott Smith tee shirt from Blue. Simon considers changing into it, but he feels self-conscious and decides not to. Simon feels happy all day until rehearsal, when he and Cal pass each other on their ways in and out of the auditorium. They smile at each other and suddenly, Simon feels angry that Blue is brave enough to leave a tee shirt, but not brave enough to approach Simon in person. Simon thinks dating at all is pointless.

Simon is exhausted all week, as it's two weeks until Oliver opens. Dad is sad that he has to record The Bachelor to accommodate Simon's rehearsal schedule. On Friday, the cast is set to perform the play for the school twice; once for freshman and seniors and again for sophomores and juniors. Nora comes to school early with Simon and tapes up cast lists photos in the atrium. Simon gets dressed and then finds Abby to do his makeup. As Abby puts on Simon's eyeliner, he asks why her dad lives in Washington, D.C. She explains that he's still looking for a job in Georgia, and her brother is a freshman at Howard. When Simon says he feels stupid for not knowing, she insists she never said anything.

Abby finishes Simon's makeup with a flurry of powder and tells him he looks extremely attractive. Simon agrees; he can barely stop looking at himself in the mirror. The first performance goes perfectly, and Simon is excited to wear his makeup to lunch. Leah loves it, and Simon notices Bram staring. After lunch, he heads back to the auditorium. Simon is excited at the thought that Blue is out there, even though he's still mad at him.

As Abby and Simon peek at the audience and point out Nick and Leah, they notice Cal frowning about whatever he's being told through his headset. After a minute, Ms. Albright fetches Simon and calls him to a dressing room. Martin is already there. Ms. Albright explains that someone altered the cast list in the atrium to "something inappropriate." Ms. Albright explains she's going to chat with the audience before the show and asks Simon if he wants to cancel the show. Simon doesn't. Martin apologizes, but Simon brushes him off.

Simon feels as though he's tired of caring about what people call him. He watches Ms. Albright go onstage with the student handbook to review the school bullying policy. The audience isn't at all interested, and Simon thinks it must be awful to be a teacher. When Ms. Albright is done, she comes backstage with a scary look in her eyes. Simon isn't sure he really wants to perform, but he does anyway.