Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

On Monday, Simon spots Bram in English class and thinks he looks adorable sitting next to Garrett. Garrett compliments Simon's performance and explains that Bram made him go to the play three times. Simon has no idea what to say, so he asks if Bram did the reading. Mr. Wise calls the class to order and Simon tries to pay attention, but he can't concentrate. He looks onto Bram's book and their knees touch as they read. After class, Abby comments that she didn't know Simon and Bram were good friends.

Bram shows up at Simon's locker right before lunch and suggests they go off campus. Only seniors are allowed to do so, but they decide to risk it. In Bram's car, he gives Simon free rein of the music. Bram pulls into a spot at the local grocery store and tells Simon to go find a pint of milk. Simon ignores texts from Abby and does as he's told. When he and Bram reconvene, Bram has gotten mini Oreo cups and spoons.

They eat in the car. Simon says, "Abraham," and then leans in to kiss Bram. After they kiss, they turn back to their Oreos. Simon asks if Bram is ready to be out to people at school, and Bram says he's all in if Simon wants to be his boyfriend. Simon grins. That night, both Bram and Simon change their Facebook statuses. Simon declines to call Alice and tell her about it and instead, calls Bram. They joke about posting kissing selfies on Facebook.

The next day, Abby asks Simon what's going on with Bram. Simon blushes, and Abby tells him he's cute and sends him away. At lunch, Simon leads Bram to the auditorium. They lock themselves in the dressing room, kiss for a while, and then settle in to talk. Bram says that according to Blue’s dad, Casanova was bisexual. Simon feels very in love and texts Bram that he misses him as soon as he gets home.

Mom notices that Simon is in an unusually good mood, but Simon declines to explain why. He hears Nora get home and is surprised to see that Leah drove Nora home. Mom insists that Simon can't go outside to talk to her since he's still grounded, but agrees to let him go in exchange for five minutes on Simon's Facebook to look at Bram. Before Leah can say anything, Simon jumps into the passenger seat. Leah tells Simon to get out, but he refuses and asks her to take him to Waffle House. She angrily agrees.

Simon tries to apologize and asks if their friendship is over. Leah accuses Simon of being platonically obsessed with Abby and calls Abby an upgraded female best friend. She refuses to listen when Simon assures her that she's his best friend. Simon explains that he came out to Abby first because Leah and Nick know him too well, and he doesn't have that history with Abby. He says that let him try on being gay with her first, and then it just got harder and harder to bring up with Leah. Simon asks Leah what happened with her dad. She says he left for a nineteen-year-old and didn't come back. Simon is distraught that he went six years without asking. He starts to sob and apologizes for everything. Leah even cries a little bit.