Son of a Trickster

Jared wakes on January 1, 2013 covered in a Buzz Lightyear comforter in an unfamiliar room that’s full of Doctor Who paraphernalia. A Native kid greets Jared and asks if he wants breakfast, but Jared asks for “hair of the dog” as his stomach lurches. The boy says that it’s a dry household before thanking Jared for saving him last night from Dylan at the party. Jared asks what happened, worried what Ebony would do if he embarrassed Dylan publicly.

The boy explains that Jared, Dylan, and some other friends were playing tag with firecrackers and Dylan’s sister didn’t like it—she told the boy to stop them, and Dylan got angry. When Dylan and his friends tried to throw the boy in a snowbank, Jared stopped them; when Dylan started to make fun of Jared, Jared called Dylan out and ran his mouth. Jared groans, wishing that one day he would wake up with an attractive girl instead of in some random kid’s room.

The boy introduces himself as George, and he tells Jared that he put up a video of what happened the previous night—he also reveals that Dylan is getting thrown off the hockey team. Jared asks George to take the video down, worried that Dylan will be mad at him. George recalls a time when Dylan took his pants, swirled him, and filmed him going all the way home. Then, Jared asks where his own clothes are, and George explains that his mom is washing them. Dylan dumped a keg on Jared’s head, and Jared wouldn’t tell George where he lived, so George and his mom took him in for the night.

Jared asks where George lives, and he says that he’s two houses down from Dylan on the Kitamaat reserve. George asks what clan Jared belongs to, but Jared simply says that his mom doesn’t talk to her family. George talks about his family for a bit, but Jared can’t focus on what George is saying and asks to take a shower. In the bathroom, Jared gets nauseous and throws up in the toilet. After his shower, Jared finds his clothes neatly folded, and George brings him ginger ale and nausea pills.

Jared checks his phone and texts his mom a happy New Year. He also has 17 texts from Destiny, who assumed that he would stop by his dad’s place so that she could go out for a bit on New Year’s Eve. She calls Jared a selfish prick, and Jared texts her to say that he told her he wouldn’t babysit—he was worried that she would dump Ben on him and disappear.

George puts on a DVD, but Jared is too tired to pay attention. He thanks George for being his crash pad. George asks if Jared can call him Crashpad, and Jared agrees before heading out. Jared goes down to Dylan’s house and cracks the door open—the house is littered with empty bottles and food, and a couple of guys are passed out on the floor. Jared goes into Dylan’s room, where Dylan is throwing up into a trash can.

Jared apologizes to Dylan for being a jerk and says that Dylan can beat him up if he wants to. Dylan is perplexed, so Jared just offers to make him some coffee. Dylan throws up again while Jared gets apology texts from Destiny, and Jared thinks that he hates his life. He then checks his voicemail: Mrs. Jaks left him a message asking for help two days earlier. After the holiday parties, Jared can’t remember what he was doing two days earlier.

Jared and Dylan drink coffee together, and Jared gives Dylan a heads up that George made a video of the previous night. Hearing this, Dylan punches Jared in the face, spilling coffee over Jared’s freshly washed jacket. Dylan says that he’s going to kill George, but Jared assures him that George is going to take down the video. Jared asks if they’re all good, and Dylan responds that he’s too hungover to kill Jared.

Later, Dylan drops off Jared at Mrs. Jaks’s house, which is under several feet of snow. Jared shovels a path from her porch to the road and knocks on the door, but there’s no answer, and he doesn’t want to wake Mrs. Jaks if she’s sleeping. Jared sits on the porch drinking a small bottle of vodka he stole from Dylan’s house. Jared’s mom doesn’t like how much he does for Mrs. Jaks, but after everything that happened with David, Jared feels he owes Mrs. Jaks—he even went to visit Mr. Jaks in respite care.

Wind and ice sting Jared’s face, and he decides to return home. In the kitchen, Jared’s mom compliments him sarcastically on his black eye, and Jared explains that Dylan was in a bad mood. His mom tells Jared that if Dylan keeps it up, he’s going to get “an ass full of buckshot,” though Jared isn’t thrilled about the idea of his mom doing this.

Jared’s mom then makes macaroni and cheese for herself and Jared while smoking a cigarette, and she sarcastically toasts to a new year of dealing with the same problems. Jared remarks that she should write for Hallmark. When Jared’s mom retorts that he gets his smart mouth from his dad, Jared’s inner voice comments that Jared’s talent for self-destruction comes from his mom.