The 48 Laws of Power

Do not commit to anyone. Greene believes only fools take sides—staying independent helps you better navigate tricky situations. Queen Elizabeth I of England followed this rule, famously never marrying, because she saw how her cousin, Mary Queen of Scots, lost favor with the people due to her choice of a husband. By remaining aloof and cultivating an image as the Virgin Queen, Elizabeth managed to reign for a long time. Isabella d’Este, who ruled in Mantua (part of Italy today) while her husband was away at war. She found herself caught up in many battles, like one between France and Milan, but she always refused to take sides, surviving while empires around her rose and fell.

The key to being powerful is to master your emotions, refusing to overreact or listen to passion. While it would be a mistake to always stand aside, being slow to join the fray can have its advantages. For example, if you stay out of an argument, people might later trust you to be a mediator. It’s a mistake to ally yourself with the stronger party in a conflict right away, since even if they succeed, you might find yourself swallowed up in their success. Instead, bragging about one’s own independence can give one the appearance of a strong position, something George Washington understood well in his career. With this law, however, you must be cautious not to take things too far, since if you alienate too many other parties, they might just gang up on you together.