The Anxious Generation

Haidt begins with another thought experiment: if someone had fallen asleep before the iPhone’s release in 2007 and woken up 10 years later, they would find a world where people—especially children—are constantly absorbed in smartphones. Unlike the pre-smartphone era, where kids used their phones mainly to arrange in-person meetups, by 2015, they spent most of their time consuming content, playing games, and interacting on social media. Haidt asks: what happens when childhood is rewired this way? Human childhood is uniquely long, allowing for cultural learning before adulthood. Unlike other species, children develop through free play, attunement (awareness and responsiveness to others), and social learning. These instincts historically shaped social skills and emotional intelligence, but digital technology now interrupts these developments.

Haidt explains that free play is how mammals develop cognitive and social abilities. Children used to spend hours outside engaging in unsupervised games, learning conflict resolution, emotional regulation, and resilience. However, social media and gaming have replaced these experiences with digital interactions that lack real-world stakes. Play teaches kids to negotiate and navigate social hierarchies, but on platforms like Instagram or TikTok, interactions are performative rather than spontaneous. Instead of focusing on enjoyment, children manage their online personas, making social engagement more stressful than rewarding.

Attunement is the ability to synchronize emotions and interactions with others, which humans begin to develop in infancy through eye contact and turn-taking. This process deepens through activities like synchronized games, dancing, and group rituals, all of which foster trust and social cohesion. However, asynchronous social media interactions and parental phone distractions disrupt these bonding experiences, leaving many adolescents feeling lonely and emotionally disconnected. The more time kids spend online, the less time they engage in real-world synchrony, contributing to the mental health crisis.

Social learning occurs when children absorb behaviors from role models. Evolution favors conformist bias (copying what most people do) and prestige bias (copying those seen as successful). In the past, kids learned from real-world figures—parents, teachers, older peers—but social media now hijacks these instincts. Algorithms push influencers who gain prestige through engagement rather than real-world accomplishments, leading children to adopt behaviors that may not translate well into adulthood. Haidt worries that the rise of social media has replaced local cultural role models with globalized digital celebrities, many of whom offer unrealistic or harmful ideals.

Neuroscience shows that adolescence is a sensitive period for learning, especially between ages 9 and 15, when identity and social norms become deeply ingrained. If a child’s primary socialization occurs through smartphones during this critical window, their worldview is shaped more by online algorithms than by face-to-face relationships. A British study found that social media harms mental health most in this age range, particularly for girls aged 11–13 and boys aged 14–15. This suggests that the current social media age limit of 13 is too low, exposing children to overwhelming online influence when they are most vulnerable to long-term psychological effects.

Haidt argues that Gen Z’s mental health crisis stems from growing up in a phone-based childhood rather than a play-based one. The shift from real-world socialization to online interaction has left adolescents more anxious, depressed, and socially disconnected. He suggests that reversing this trend will require restoring childhood experiences that prioritize face-to-face connection, free play, and in-person social learning.