Beliefs, Agreements, and Transformative Happiness Theme Analysis

In The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz argues that the wisdom of the Toltec, an early Mexican society, can show people how to change their lives from a “living hell” (centered on judgment, abuse, and fear) to a “heaven on Earth” (centered on love and self-acceptance). Ruiz argues that humans’ beliefs are really more like “agreements” because we implicitly agree to uphold them by basing our thoughts and behavior around them. Thinking of a belief as an agreement, then, indicates that it’s possible to choose to disagree with a belief—people don’t have to accept the beliefs others have about them, nor those they have about themselves. Ruiz’s central argument in the book is that that there are four agreements (beliefs) a person can adopt and live by that will guide them away from living a “nightmare” existence rooted in fear and self-rejection and toward a peaceful, happy existence centered on love and self-acceptance.

Ruiz argues that beliefs—about how to behave, what is good and bad, and what is true—are really agreements: they are rules that people accept or agree to live by. Very young children accept beliefs (or “agree” with the belief system they are taught) without questioning them because they love, trust, and have faith in their caregivers. In adulthood, however, many people learn to reject beliefs that they disagree with. In other words, they can withhold or revoke their agreement to believe something (say, about politics, or God) or how to behave (say, around an abusive parent). In this way, beliefs are essentially agreements to behave in certain ways, and can be changed when a person enacts their power to reject an agreement or make a different one.

With this conception of beliefs as agreements, Ruiz argues that if a person makes the titular “four agreements” that he deems essential to a happy life, they will gradually move away from acting based on fear and the internalized judgments of others, and toward acting as their true self. The four agreements are: “always be impeccable with your word,” “never take anything personally,” “don’t make assumptions,” and “always do your best.” Ruiz believes that adopting the four agreements works because each agreement entails accepting that people are already good enough exactly as they are, which silences the inner “Judge” and the inner “Victim” (the inner critical and shaming voices that exist within each person).

Ruiz outlines how adopting the four agreements free a person from their inner Judge and Victim. If a person is always “impeccable with their word,” it means they agree to never speak out negatively about others. The person is already good enough, so they have no need to spread comments that make other people look bad in order to make themselves look better. If a person “never take[s] anything personally,” they agree that other people’s comments—that the person is too “fat” or “ugly” or “stupid”—are not true, they only reflect other people’s need to judge. The person already accepts themselves just as they are, so other people’s judgments are irrelevant. If a person doesn’t “make assumptions,” they agree to always communicate clearly and ask for clarity without fear of ridicule or judgment, rather than filling in gaps with what they assume to be true and acting based on those thoughts. For example, if a wife assumes that her husband should already know what she is thinking, she’ll likely feel upset when he doesn’t act how she expects (say, she wants affection but he doesn’t offer her a hug, so she gets upset). If, however, the pair agree to communicate their needs and desires instead of assuming their spouse should just know what the other wants, they will have a healthier relationship based on honesty and clarity, instead of one based on misunderstanding and conflict. If a person always does their best, it means they agree to do the best they are capable of, given their mood and energy level at the time. This means that a person won’t do as much as is physically possible—rather, they will respect their limits and make their best effort without overdoing it. Whether or not the person succeeds, they’ll have no need to judge or berate themselves for not doing something well enough, since they’ll always know that they’ve done the best they could at the time.

With these four agreements, Ruiz argues that it’s possible to transform one’s life from a state of misery (in which one acts out of fear of judgment) to a life of happiness (in which one already accepts they are good enough and has no need to judge oneself). In making the “four agreements” Ruiz outlines—in other words, by adopting the beliefs and practices of self-acceptance—a person can effectively rid themselves of negative thoughts and limiting self-talk. Living under the four agreements, a person’s behavior will shift their mindset away from the habit of judging and victimizing themselves and toward the habit of loving and accepting themselves, which will bring them happiness and transform their existence from “hell” to “heaven” on Earth.