The Girl Who Drank the Moon

Antain spends his first five years as an Elder-in-Training trying to convince himself that his job will get easier. It never does. The Elders berate him every chance they get and for seemingly no reason. Antain’s mother does the same at home and insists that she deserves the honor of Antain being an Elder. Antain isn’t sure. Antain escapes his mother to help the kitchen staff and the gardeners, and then goes to the shed to carve wood, which he loves doing. He tries not to think about the approaching Day of Sacrifice.

The next morning, Antain goes to the Council Hall to go through citizen complaints and requests, pick out a few important ones, and erase the rest. Once, when he suggested that all the complaints might be important, Gherland insisted that refusing to listen to the people is a gift—it teaches the people that their lives are inconsequential. Antain then prepares the Council rooms and goes to school. It’s an uncharacteristically sunny day and Antain marvels that nobody is out to enjoy the sunlight. It feels hopeful. He looks toward the Tower, where the madwoman has lived for five years now. He can’t get her face or her baby’s face out of his head, and he can’t forgive himself. He feels there has to be another way.

Antain arrives at school early. He pulls out his journal and works on a plan for a wheeled cabinet for the kind gardener, but Gherland interrupts him and calls him to his office. He insists that school is pointless for Antain, since its point is to amuse children until they can be useful to the Protectorate. Antain knows that he won’t be missed; his teacher gives him high marks no matter what he does, and nobody talks to him. The only person with whom he’d like to speak left school to join the Sisters of the Star last year. Her name is Ethyne. Nobody leaves the Sisters of the Star, but Antain hopes she will anyway.

Antain continues to think of the madwoman as Gherland says that the Day of Sacrifice is coming. He lists all the ways that Antain has gotten out of participating in the last few years, from getting suspicious illnesses to fighting suspicious fires singlehandedly. Gherland points out that Antain isn’t fooling anyone, and says that he gave Antain this position against his better judgment. He likes Antain, but Gherland says that he can’t protect him forever. Antain doesn’t understand why he needs to be protected in the first place as he shuffles out the door. Gherland lifts a hand to put it on Antain’s shoulder, but decides not to. Five days later, Antain is home vomiting as the Elders sacrifice another baby. Gherland worries about him.