Tristram Shandy

Dedication. Tristram dedicates this volume and the following volume to Lord Viscount John Spencer. This is the best work he is able to produce in his sickly state. The “humane” story of Le Fever in Volume Six, however, is dedicated to Lady Spencer.

Chapter 1. Tristram complains of the unbearable speed of his carriage trip back home from London and promises himself that he’ll lock his study door and throw the key into the well. Watching a much slower wagon follow, he muses on whether authors are doomed to repeat the glories of the past, and he asks if true creativity is really possible. He asks why humans were created to live such banal lives. He curses unoriginal imitators, and then turns to his promised subject of whiskers. This chapter is dangerous, Tristram warns, and says had he not rashly promised it he would avoid sharing it but must show the reader the fragment he wrote.

The fragment begins mid-conversation, as an old gentleman and the queen of Navarre discuss whiskers. Her maid of honor, La Fosseuse, points out the old gentleman’s superior whiskers. The subject of whiskers dominates conversation in the queen’s court. Sieur de Croix, though he has no whiskers, wins the affections of all the ladies of the court, including both Lady de Baussiere and La Batterelle. When La Fosseuse points this out, the ladies all retire to contemplate the question. Lady Baussiere rides past beggars and relatives, too wrapped up in her thoughts to stop. The word “whiskers” becomes overused in the court, quickly taking on a lewd meaning, that Sieur de Croix leaves. Tristram points out that something similar happened in the case of “noses,” and he considers other words whose double meanings threaten to make them unutterable in public life.

Chapter 2. Meanwhile, at Shandy-Hall, Walter is calculating the expenses of Bobby’s trip to Europe when he learns that Bobby had died. His calculations are constantly interrupted by Obadiah, who asks for excessively precise instructions in his tasks, and Walter must constantly start over. Walter is then interrupted again by Toby, who tells him of his son’s death. Tristram notes how Agrippina could not work when she learned of her son’s death—Walter, on the other hand, feels compelled to finish his calculations, a tale Tristram will tell in the following chapter.

Chapter 3. Tristram quotes the many philosophers who argue in favor of crying at the loss of a child. Walter reacts differently, choosing not to cry, sleep, drown, or whistle away his grief—he manages it by his own method. Tristram asks to tell a story first. Tully, learning of the death of his daughter Tullia, became so eloquent in voicing his grief that he felt joy. Walter is likewise proud of his eloquence, which is both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. Indeed, Walter benefits more from eloquently complaining of bad luck than from good luck. Walter’s favorite mare was paired with an Arabian stallion to breed; because of Obadiah’s neglect, however, a mule was born instead. Arguing with Obadiah and decisively proving his guilt, however, made Walter so happy he forgot all about the mule.

Learning of Bobby’s death, Walter reacts magnanimously, quoting philosophy and musing on the nature of death. Walter lectures Toby at length of the necessity and honor of death, using Troy and Babylon as examples. Toby does not realize, however, that Walter is also quoting Servius Sulpicius, and he becomes confused by Walter’s references to travels in Greece and across the Aegean Sea. Because Walter at one point traded in the Mediterranean, however, Toby assumes he is speaking from his own experience. When Toby asks what year he traveled to Greece, Walter astounds him by telling him it was 40 B.C. Toby assumes Walter is losing his mind to grief. Walter continues, proclaiming that perhaps death is better than a life of suffering. Walter then lists the different ways great men have died.  

Chapter 4. Continuing his list of noble deaths, Walter mentions Cornelius Gallus, who died while having sex. Toby comments that if it was with his wife there is no harm in it. Walter replies that he does not know the details.

Chapter 5. Tristram’s mother is walking quietly down the hall when she hears Toby say “wife,” which catches her attention. She then stays by the ajar door to listen, but Tristram says he will leave her there for five minutes while he explains what is happening in the kitchen.

Chapter 6. Tristram describes the Shandy family as both a very simple and a very complicated machine, comparing it to a Dutch silk mill. Part of this design, he explains, is that every conversation in the parlor has a parallel conversation in the kitchen. Because the parlor door with the squeaky hinge was typically left ajar, news travels quickly throughout the house. Thus Trim, having learned of Bobby’s death, is giving his own speech in the kitchen, a straightforward, unliterary counterpart to Walter’s.

Chapter 7. Obadiah exclaims that Bobby is dead. The first thing Susannah thinks of is Mrs. Shandy’s green satin nightgown—Tristram suggests that Locke should discuss this in a chapter on the imperfection of language. As Susannah expresses her grief and her sympathy for Mrs. Shandy, she is unable to stop thinking of her mistress’s wardrobe. Trim arrives and is told the sad news, which he says he hopes is not true. Susannah, Obadiah, Jonathan the coachman, and the scullion, insist that it is. Trim takes up the same pose he did when reading the sermon and begins his speech. Tristram insists the reader pays attention to Trim’s speech, suggesting they can sleep through 10 pages elsewhere in the book. Trim briefly describes the fleeting nature of life and then drops his hat for dramatic effect, causing Susannah to burst into tears. Tristram argues that this is a gesture of singular eloquence and implores the reader to meditate on it.