The Princess Bride: Chapter 7 Summary & Analysis

Puzzlingly, Fezzik finds that the door is unlocked. Inigo thinks that this doesn't make sense, as Prince Humperdinck should of course lock up his beloved Zoo of Death. Morgenstern explains this door is the one intended to foil people like Inigo as it takes them down through all the Zoo's levels, while the real door leads directly to the fifth level. Inigo reasons that the albino would've locked the door when he was done using the wheelbarrow. Fezzik praises Inigo but decides not to mention that the door doesn't even have a lock. He doesn't share that he's scared of the creepy crawlies that he's heard live here.

Fezzik and Inigo walk through the first level and go through the doorway labeled “To Level Two.” As they start down the stairs, Fezzik admits that he's terrified. Inigo gives Fezzik some rhymes and acts relaxed, but he's actually very upset that someone like Fezzik is so scared. Up to this point Inigo thought that he was the only one who was truly scared, but he reasons that they'll just have to avoid “panic situations.” Fezzik and Inigo reach the doorway labeled “To Level Three” and notice that the staircase is curved so the bottom isn't visible. Fezzik makes a comment about fear, so Inigo threatens to leave him at the top.

As Inigo and Fezzik start down the stairs, the door locks behind them and the candles go out, plunging them into darkness. Both of them shriek in fear before regaining their composure. Inigo suggests that, since Fezzik is nervous, they walk down with their arms around each other's shoulders, his sword drawn and Fezzik's fist clenched. He notes that most people die without experiencing such an adventure and together, and they start down the stairs. As they start around the curve, something starts to coil around them them. It's an Arabian Garstini snake.

As the snake tightens its coils, Inigo tells Fezzik that he had good rhymes planned. He can't say them because the snake is squeezing him too tightly. Not getting to hear the rhymes makes Fezzik so angry, he's able to pull out of the coils and smash the snake's head against the wall. Once free, Inigo admits that he doesn't have rhymes in mind; he just wanted to spur Fezzik to action. Feeling betrayed, Fezzik stomps down the stairs and through the door into the fourth level. Inigo follows Fezzik, apologizing for lying.

When they go through the door leading to the fourth level, Fezzik is suddenly paralyzed with fear at the sound of rabid bats' cries. Inigo slams Fezzik down onto the stairs and kneels above him. He remembers training with a Scot named MacPherson who taught him how to fight on hills and without sight. Inigo listens to the bats above and hears two diving for him. He stabs at them, skewering the bats on the sword. He then skewers five more and the fluttering stops. Inigo heads down the stairs and Fezzik follows. They agree to forgive each other and enter the fourth floor.

The fourth level is disturbing, so Inigo and Fezzik hurry through it and open the door that leads to the fifth level. The staircase is short, straight, and brightly lit. Inigo knows it must be a trap, but after a few steps, nothing happens. Six steps from the ornate door at the bottom, Inigo admits that he's afraid. Fezzik isn't afraid until Inigo starts to panic. Morgenstern explains that Inigo is right to panic; a very poisonous green speckled recluse lives on the door handle at the bottom of the stairs, but she only strikes when someone touches the handle. Fezzik also starts to panic as they get closer to the door. He throws himself down the stairs and crashes through the door, not bothering with the handle. Inigo is puzzled by this and steps on a green spider as he follows Fezzik.

Fezzik and Inigo find Westley, the man in black, dead in the cage. Inigo starts to cry at the unfairness of it but then declares that he won't accept this. He asks Fezzik if he has money and says that they're going to try to buy a miracle.

Miracle Max yells at whoever's at his door to go away, but Fezzik explains that he's on the brute squad and Inigo says that he needs a miracle. Max notes that King Lotharon fired him, so he's not reliable, but he's interested when Inigo says that the man they need a miracle for is already dead. Morgenstern notes that Max is very touchy about having been fired. Inigo insists that Max was just fired because of politics and begs for help. Max runs down to the cellar to “feed his witch” and closes the door behind him.

Max's wife, Valerie, is downstairs cooking hot chocolate. She's not actually a witch, but since every miracle man needs one, she pretends to be a witch in public. Max frantically whispers that a giant and a Spaniard want to buy a miracle for their corpse. Valerie tries to temper her excitement, as Max is very “good at dead” and hasn't worked since he was fired. Max insists that Fezzik and Inigo will probably try to get out of paying. She insists that he make them pay in advance and sends him back upstairs.

Valerie listens at the door as Max insists that Fezzik's 65 gold pieces isn't enough and hurries downstairs to “belch his witch.” Max tells Valerie that the customers only had 20 pieces, so Valerie points out that they need the money and suggests he find out why they need a miracle. He goes back upstairs. Inigo lies that they need a miracle because Westley has a big family, as he thinks his desire to kill Count Rugen won't go over well. Max accuses Inigo of lying, pulls out a huge bellows, and starts to pump air into Westley's mouth. He explains that there are multiple kinds of dead and Westley is only “sort of dead.” After a minute, Max shouts in Westley's ear and asks what's worth coming back for.

While they wait for Westley's answer, Max asks Inigo if Westley was ticklish, as tickling can bring people back from the dead. Westley groans “true love,” but Max insists that Westley actually said that he wants to come back to bluff and lie. At this, Valerie flies through the door, calls Max a liar, and shrieks that Westley said “true love.” She says that Prince Humperdinck was right to fire him and at this, Inigo points out that Westley's true love is engaged to Humperdinck. Upon realizing that bringing Westley back will humiliate Humperdinck, Max agrees to take the case.

When Max and Valerie learn that Inigo needs a “fighting corpse,” they say their miracle won't work with so little time. They say they can get Westley talking and possibly walking, but they can't get Inigo a “fantasmagoria” for so little money. Goldman cuts in and says that Morgenstern goes on to describe both the events at the castle and the progress of the miracle. Goldman says the point is that the reader knows the resurrection pill is going to work. He also notes that Hiram insisted they cut this section because Miracle Max sounds too Jewish and contemporary. The story picks up two hours before the wedding.

Inigo is appalled at what the pill looks like: “a lump of clay the size of a golf ball.” Goldman notes that this isn't anachronistic as everything that Morgenstern wrote is historically accurate. Valerie takes the pill downstairs to coat it in chocolate as Max thinks that he must've forgotten something.

Meanwhile, Prince Humperdinck summons Yellin. Yellin is so fed up with Humperdinck's nonsense that he has a resignation letter in his pocket. Yellin gives a rundown of all the security measures he's put in place, including locking the castle with a single key that can lock from either side, so that a person on the opposite side of the door from Yellin can't get in or out. Humperdinck gestures out the window to the highest spot of the castle wall and says that the Guilderians will climb over at that spot. At this, Yellin says that he has heard nothing of a plot to kill Buttercup and offers his resignation.

Prince Humperdinck is stumped, as he'd planned on installing Yellin as the leader of Guilder after the war. He decides to let Yellin in on the secret and says that he's going to kill Buttercup, blame it on Guilder, and put Yellin in charge of Guilder after the war. He tells Yellin to blame muddy boot tracks leading to and from Buttercup's room on Guilder and Yellin agrees to follow orders. As Yellin leaves, Humperdinck mentions that the albino can stand in the back to watch the wedding. Yellin admits that he can't find the albino. Humperdinck knows that this is suspicious and wonders if Guilder really is plotting something. Humperdinck decides to move the wedding from 6:00 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. just in case. Meanwhile, Miracle Max realizes that he didn't make the pill properly and it'll only work for 40 minutes, not an hour.

Around 5:00 p.m., Fezzik carries Westley's corpse to the wall around the castle. Carrying the corpse is disturbing for Fezzik and he hopes the pill will work. Fezzik leans Westley against the wall while he boosts Inigo to the top of the wall to check on what's going on inside. Inigo can see the albino's body, still passed out, and signals for Fezzik to climb up with Westley. They decide to give Westley the pill now, with 45 minutes until the ceremony. As soon as the pill hits Westley's throat, he starts speaking. Inigo explains that Westley has been dead, and Westley wishes he remembered what being dead was like, because he could make a fortune with a book.

Westley introduces himself to Fezzik and Inigo, and Inigo tells Westley quickly that they have about a half hour to sneak in, steal Buttercup, and kill Count Rugen. He says that there's only one castle gate guarded by 100 men, and they have Westley's brains, Fezzik's strength, and his sword. At this, Westley declares it's not enough and he'd rather die. He says they could do something if they had a wheelbarrow and a holocaust cloak, and Fezzik notes that they have access to both. Standing, Westley says he'll need a sword too, since nobody knows that he can't lift it.

Buttercup knows that Westley is coming, so she's not upset to learn that Prince Humperdinck is moving up the wedding. The couple is kneeling in front of the Archdean of Florin at 5:23 p.m. Two minutes later, Buttercup hears screaming outside. This is because Inigo is pushing Fezzik in the wheelbarrow as Fezzik stands in it, on fire, yelling that he's the Dread Pirate Roberts and won't leave any survivors. Yellin is very upset about this, especially when the brute squad starts to panic and scream.