The main character of “I’d Love You to Want Me.” Mrs. Khanh’s story centers around her husband, Professor Khanh. The professor, who likely has Alzheimer’s disease, realizes that he is slowly losing his mind. But perhaps most startlingly to Mrs. Khanh, he calls her by the wrong name—Yen—increasingly frequently over the course of the story. This causes Mrs. Khanh to worry that he might be in love with someone else, or that he had a relationship with someone else in the past. Initially, Mrs. Khanh holds on to some of her independence, refusing to give up her job as a librarian despite her son’s Vinh’s pleas that she stay home and take care of her husband. She also corrects her husband when he calls her Yen, but eventually, Mrs. Khanh realizes that the only way in which she can help her husband retain his sanity is through a great deal of personal sacrifice. She essentially turns herself into a ghost, quitting her job at the library, going out less and less, and calling herself Yen when the professor doesn’t recognize who she is.
Mrs. Khanh Quotes in The Refugees
The The Refugees quotes below are all either spoken by Mrs. Khanh or refer to Mrs. Khanh. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
Note: all page numbers and citation info for the quotes below refer to the Grove Press edition of The Refugees published in 2017.
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I’d Love You To Want Me
Quotes
That was true love, she thought, not giving roses but going to work every day and never once complaining about teaching Vietnamese to so-called heritage learners, immigrant and refugee students who already knew the language but merely wanted an easy grade.
Related Characters:
Mrs. Khanh, Professor Khanh/The Professor, Vinh
Page Number and Citation:
Explanation and Analysis:
“Who are you?” he cried, raising his hand as if to ward off a blow. […]
“It’s just me,” she said. “It’s Yen.”
Related Characters:
Mrs. Khanh (speaker), Professor Khanh/The Professor (speaker)
Page Number and Citation:
Explanation and Analysis:
Get the entire The Refugees LitChart as a printable PDF.

Mrs. Khanh Character Timeline in The Refugees
The timeline below shows where the character Mrs. Khanh appears in The Refugees. The colored dots and icons indicate which themes are associated with that appearance.
I’d Love You To Want Me
Mrs. Khan h and her husband, Professor Khanh, are at a wedding banquet. They had attended many...
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Mrs. Khan h tells the professor that the couple is honeymooning in Paris and the French Riviera....
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...up to dance, saying “You always insisted we dance when you heard this song, Yen.” Mrs. Khan h hides her surprise at being called by a name that is not hers. She...
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...work in oceanography and settled for teaching Vietnamese. When he realizes his mistake, he asks Mrs. Khan h why she didn’t tell him they were going the wrong way. Mrs. Khanh had...
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The next morning, Mrs. Khan h tells the professor about the previous night’s events, as he had asked her to...
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The professor and Mrs. Khan h’s son Vinh arrives, fresh from his graveyard shift at the hospital. He has brought...
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When Vinh tells Mrs. Khan h to be reasonable, she can’t help but think of him as an irresponsible teenager,...
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Vinh continues to argue that Mrs. Khan h doesn’t need the money, but that the professor needs her at home. He points...
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Not long after this visit, the professor and Mrs. Khan h stop attending Sunday mass and gradually see less and less of their friends. The...
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At home, Mrs. Khan h continues to make the home easier for the professor to navigate. She tapes out...
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For Mrs. Khan , the most disturbing problem is when the professor comes home as a stranger. One...
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That evening for dinner, Mrs. Khan h and the professor talk about the postcard they received from their eldest daughter, who...
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That evening, Mrs. Khan h goes to the professor’s library, which is filled with hundreds of books. He cultivated...
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Over the next few days and weeks, the professor calls Mrs. Khan h “Yen” again and again. Mrs. Khanh is consumed with curiosity about this woman. She...
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One day, Mrs. Khan h finds the professor in the bathroom, naked from the waist down and furiously scrubbing...
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Nor had the professor yelled at Mrs. Khan h when they were lost at sea with their children, huddled together on a refugee...
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The professor and Mrs. Khan h had never spoken of this incident at sea, even though he spoke of many...
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Mrs. Khan h speaks to Vinh over the phone. She is more forthcoming with him about the...
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Months pass. Mrs. Khan h follows the professor on his walks, discreetly staying at a distance of ten or...
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The professor starts to talk about how, when he and Mrs. Khan h had visited their home in Vietnam, a night masseur biked past, and they had...
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Mrs. Khan h tells the professor that Yen is not her name—her name is Sa. The professor...
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The librarians throw Mrs. Khan h a farewell party for her last day of work and give her a box...
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Mrs. Khan h returns home after dark. She smells gas; a kettle is on the stove but...
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